Today I again woke up with thoughts of that little girl from the park again. She was only 7 years old, and yet she has this innocent beauty that just consumes me. Her bright blue eyes, her curly brown hair... it all plays in my mind like a never ending tik tok or some shit.

I know I should be ashamed, but I can't help how I feel. I've tried to fight these urges for years, even attended therapy sessions and joined support groups, but nothing seems to work. Every time I think I'm making progress, some new little face pops up, and my heart starts racing all over again.

I wish I could be normal, that I could just look at children as kids and not as objects of desire. But the truth is, I don't know who I am anymore, or what I want from life beyond these fleeting moments of pleasure.

As I sit here I wonder if anyone can ever truly change the way the brain is wired. Maybe someone will see this posted on here one day and Ill probably be long dead by then.

For now, all I can do is continue trying, one day at a time. Maybe someday.

Good reddit clone btw