Anything is possible if you just bay leaf in yourself!

With the terms of service for their “anti spam” and “productivity auto-sorting” features, they must gather SO much data about people by reading their emails - there’s no way they’d turn that off lol

Is tragic accident. Sometimes airplane explode in sky, such is life in Russia.

Quality shitpost, I enjoyed

Alternative text: Me, sacrificing my health by sleeping too little so that I can be paid the absolute minimum that my corporate overlords can get away with, while extracting the most value possible from my labor.

Time to get eatin’ 🍽️

Gold rush you say?

Shovels for sale!

Get your shovels here! Can’t strike it rich without a shovel!

lol, funny thing is that this isn’t really a story about ice cream machines - anyone who’s seen melted mcds ice cream foam knows that ain’t ice cream.

The frozen foam machines were intentionally hard to fix but someone figured it out and made a solution. Mcd was making money off fleecing franchise owners by having their company be the only ones who could fix it, so it looks like they did shady stuff to keep the grift going. For the ice foam. 🍦

Dozens of us! Dozens!

I, for one, am never voting for Hunter Biden again.

Didn’t one of them literally bring a big giant card with a photo of the president’s son’s dick on it for their speaking time?

Wholesome as fuck 💜

Lmao one of the discords I’m in sent out a warning ahead of it to “turn off any second secret phones you have”

I might be part of some sketchy discord servers lol, warning people to turn off their cheating or crime phones 🤣

Can confirm. I have to be in the office way more now and everyone hates it. I work way less than I used to to recoup the misery of commuting.

They don’t even fold

You know things are going well when your governing bodies have to ask pretty please can we regulate you pleeeeease??? 🥺

When they forced me back into the office I didn’t ask permission, I’m just subtracting the hours I commute from my workday. Nobody I work with is in the office I go to so I just poke the mouse every 15min and tether my personal laptop to my phone for the first couple of hours while I decompress from the hour commute. Nobody ever comes by my cube, I’m just in a depressing beige box all day hating the company that’s making me be there.

I used to like my job and go out of my way to find and solve problems. Sometimes I’d work at night if there was something interesting I’d found. Now I’m never ever online after I get home and I’m doing enough to not get fired.

It’s even more fucked then that - none of the shitheads that are doing this actually urgently need their paycheck from their job.

The crazies that are causing this are all rich enough that they’d be fine if they got paid later once the shutdown is over. They don’t know the concept of living paycheck to paycheck, they’ve always had a pool of money in reserve.

Me, over here not understanding either of them

:3

Avatar state, Yip Yip!

Refuse to tell them your name or participate, then when they start singing call them literal demon pedos and declare bankruptcy.

It will work just as well as jones’ strategy!