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[Rant] I swear to fucking god. Windows is harder to use than Linux. Have any of you ever USED Windows lately? Holy fuck.
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It's shitty that they make you do this, but you can actually install windows fine without a network connection by using Shift+F10 to open a command prompt during the startup flow, then typing oobe\bypassnro, which will restart the startup flow with a new option to setup without wifi.