technically the truth!

I agree with this. A title to land ownership is in itself just a piece of paper, it's not the land you're owning. It's effectively serving the same purpose as the hash idea you're suggesting

Username checks out

Ah yes, the 444 Spare Squadron

This is probably not what you're looking for, but I have two suggestions that don't really fit your criteria but you might find at least mildly interesting:

1. Playstation Vita. Moddable, retroarch gives you most retro games, and you can stream your PC with Moonlight. It's a bit small but it roughly fits your price point and is just awesome

2. Surface Duo & Duo 2. A bit out of your price range but with a good expandable controller, I consider this the ultimate Nintendo ds emulator. And I mean, I guess android is sort of like Linux? lol

The original Surface Duo is dirt cheap on ebay and I enjoy it

I am certainly interested in something that fits your criteria more closely. But it most likely doesn't exist out of the box. You'd probably have to hobble it together yourself with a Raspberry Pi and other hardware

Do you have a source without a pay wall?

Perhaps Dr. Draken is using his weather machine to suck up all of the water to create a very powerful storm. I hear he plans to call his new land 'Drakanada'

I get what they're trying to say, and it's very concerning, but the headline is slightly misleading. I think earth's hottest year would probably be during it's formation when the surface was molten rock lol