Sorry in advance for random stream of consciousness.
There's definitely a learning curve to being a DM. And some people, like myself, just aren't cut out for it. If you want to keep playing with these people, I would suggest being honest with your feedback. Talk to the group about how you'd like to incorporate more roleplaying and cut back on combat. It might be a good idea to try running a pre-built campaign if you aren't already. But even those can be kinda dry without the right DM.
I haven't really played in years, but my DM got to the point where basically, the rules were just guidelines. If a player wanted to try something, the DM would just roll with it. They'd try to come up with a reasonable check for you to roll and then just see what happens. Most of the "funny" moments come from massive failures or critical successes. Ham those up. Instead of saying, "nope, you fail", make up a consequence. "You tried to mount the giant moth, but you couldn't get a grip and it flung you up to an outcropping" or "you missed so bad you hit the column and it comes crumbling down, you and the enemy both take 2 points of bludgeoning."
The rules are great for combat simulation, but if combat was all you wanted, you'd be better off playing Warhammer. The best advice I can give is just loosen up. And again, like Jack Sparrow says, it's more like guidelines. We eventually got to the point where we said, no opening the books during the session. If you don't know a rule, make it up. The goal is to have fun, not to follow the book.
So yeah, it's about mindset and teamwork and cooperation and communication. Being honest in what you want out of a session is the most important thing, because nobody knows what you want unless you say so. They may be able to tell when you aren't having fun, but they may not know why or how to fix it and may just throw more monsters at it because that's what they think will fix it.
As for player death. We embraced it. If we really liked our character, we'd just come back as MyGuy the 2nd, or 3rd, or 4th, and when we got tired of that character we'd move on to something else rolling a new character at the level everyone else was at and picking a few items to keep (assuming someone else made it out alive).
