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Most women would be more willing to have casual sex if it was safer, and women are just as horny as men. Gay hook up culture is a utopia straight people could have if a woman being “easy” didn’t put her in danger - physically, emotionally, or socially. Pregnancy (especially with fear of stealthing), stalking and damages to social reputation are huge concerns with women, and collectively in most cultures many men shoot themselves in the foot here.
Orientation is fluid, and sometimes the people that you have sex with are not people you would want to be in relationships with. There are piles and piles of “straight men” who actively seek out sexual encounters with other men. Social stigma hampers men here to.
Organized BDSM communities tend to get taken over by dangerous people. Frameworks and rules don’t override unhealthy dynamics.