Spyke

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Most women would be more willing to have casual sex if it was safer, and women are just as horny as men. Gay hook up culture is a utopia straight people could have if a woman being “easy” didn’t put her in danger - physically, emotionally, or socially. Pregnancy (especially with fear of stealthing), stalking and damages to social reputation are huge concerns with women, and collectively in most cultures many men shoot themselves in the foot here.

Orientation is fluid, and sometimes the people that you have sex with are not people you would want to be in relationships with. There are piles and piles of “straight men” who actively seek out sexual encounters with other men. Social stigma hampers men here to.

Organized BDSM communities tend to get taken over by dangerous people. Frameworks and rules don’t override unhealthy dynamics.

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Get this filth out of my sight

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Not the person you asked, but the industry is horribly unethical. Pornhub hosted and made good money on CSAM.

Another aspect is the way things which are pretty intense and should only be happening in negotiated, BDSM contexts are presented as normal parts of sex. Choking is extremely fucking dangerous and really shouldn’t be done by anyone who doesn’t explicitly know what they are doing, but it’s treated as almost part of vanilla sex. Painful anal sex is treated as desirable.

I’ve had a lot of casual sex with men, and many many times these men have done things like spanked or choked me without consent, and I feel like in part that happens because it’s part of the sex script they learned from watching porn.

Also, so much of it seems to be from Eastern European countries where the women might be getting trafficked. You might recall that Andrew Tate’s grift, which he has passed on to others, was essentially forcing women to cam for him while he kept the money.

Like, I think porn can be done ethically. Conceivably, we could have a world where exhibitionists who are having fun are the only ones making porn - maybe if we had UBI and no one had to do it to survive. But that’s not the world we live in.

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I fantasize about being with a trans woman, but I'm straight and not sure I actually want to. Anyone feel the same and gone through with it?

I’m a gay trans man. I have a vagina, and I mostly do vaginal sex.

My relationships have been gay relationships, because we were both men and I am unambiguously read as male in public.

But I also do frequently have casual sex. There are a lot of gay men who do find relationships with trans men specifically to be erotic. There are bisexual men who don’t really care what they are topping. There are straight men who just want to fuck a vagina. There are insecure DL men who feel that a trans man is a safe outing.

Being attracted to a trans women as a straight guy is normal. You are expressing attraction to a woman. I’ve known trans women in relationships with 100% straight guys.

The larger reality here is that labels are shorthands, not laws. As a cis straight man, you have been told all of your life that anything outside of being attracted to a certain type of cis women is expected of you, that any non conformance with that script is “gay” and stigmatized.

You can have a sexual encounter or relationship with a trans woman and consider yourself 100% heterosexual if that’s important to you, because you are a man having sex with a woman. Hell - you can even experiment with a cis dude and consider yourself straight - there are piles and piles of dudes flipping through all kinds of apps right now just trying to get their dick sucked by any willing warm mouth.

Sexuality is spectrum and it changes across your life. You don’t have to feel worried about that, there’s nothing wrong with you.

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Do women still post nudes for the Thrill of it?

There tend to be a lot of societal consequences for sexually eager women. You can get easily fired from most jobs if they find nudes online.

Also, stalkers and creeps are a big thing. Exhibitionism is often understood as consent for everything.

It fucking sucks, but people don’t behave. I’m not a woman, but it’s also something I have to be concerned about.

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Have you ever been in a totally consensual missionary fuck with your GF and she suddenly asks you to stop?

There’s a lot of reasons why someone might ask you to stop, and the critical thing is that you do so immediately and check in.

It can start hurting - maybe you hit a wrong angle, maybe there isn’t enough lube. There can also be triggers associated with sex, psychological aspects where a stray thought, a brief smell or feeling, can make things not fun in the moment. Maybe you are pressing on your partner in a way that starts to feel uncomfortable or cramp. Being penetrated can feel intense and overwhelming, and sometimes it’s possible to slip from fun to not fun out of nowhere.

Making sure that your partner knows that you will stop if asked is critical to helping them feel safe.

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Your boyfriend has a nerdy sex starved friend. He asks if you would help the guy out with a handjob. Would you do it?

That’s kinda my ideal relationship. I’d love having a boyfriend or husband that would offer my body up to his friends. Being able to have a trusted person tie me up and blindfold me beforehand would make free use so much more fun.

My former owner did give me to a woman to be whipped because she had been striking out all night once. That was fun.

Even on my own, I’m always happy to help guys get their dicks off. I usually catch a lot of dick when the bars close - glad to help someone relieve their frustrations.

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When you are blowing a guy why is tasting the precum OK but you don't want cum in your mouth?

This isn’t necessarily an answer to your question but -

If someone says they don’t like swallowing/don’t want you to cum in their mouth, regardless of the reasoning, you shouldn’t try to “logic” them into complying with it. Lots of people have preferences, and the least sexy thing you can do is try to persuade someone past a hard no.

I like swallowing, but if I didn’t want to and someone asked me this during the act, it would be a guarantee that I would never hook up with them again.

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Penis havers - can you feel the difference between an ass and a vagina?

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I’m kinda reassured with how common it is to not cum from/be into oral. I have TMJ so I don’t really suck a lot of cocks. I get asked and like it sometimes, but it hurts after a bit :(

Also appreciate that the experience is probably the same after I’ve been used, always been worried that the last guy in a train is missing out. I guess it is a muscle, so maybe working it out makes it tighter long term.

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What is your kink that you will likely never get to try?

Getting fucked strapped down to a guillotine (with a line of guys especially) or with a gun to my head.

Snuff is really difficult for people to understand. I like being alive, but the idea that a guy could treat me as completely disposable is exhilarating. I’m fairly extreme on the masochism/submissive side of things, the challenge is always finding guys who are safe with those extreme kinks.

I’ve got a regular I had a really great time with recently - put a belt around my neck before he walked in, let him talk about how far he could go (while not actually pulling hard - breath play is always dangerous..)

Being passed around at a party and thrown into a dumpster afterwords is another of those “probably impossible” fantasies.

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You might be proud but she is disgusted

It’s not really that far removed from flashing someone if it’s unsolicited. And - even as a guy who loves dick pics - no one is going to be enticed by a poorly lit picture of your dick held up next to a monster can in your bathroom. (What the hell is with the “over the toilet shot”? So gross.)