You know what's extra fun about this?

Those secretions bleach underwear. That's right, my cute black panties are all inevitably doomed to have a white spot in the crotch over time!

Actually, that's amazing. Like even if you believe in these things, the karmic "payback" for trying to do evil with it is paid immediately by being scammed.

I'm white. I have blue eyes. And when I was young, my hair was red. I was working retail, and this old lady said "Merry Christmas."

Me: "Happy Holidays!"

Her: "It's Merry Christmas. I know your boss doesn't like it, but you should say it to me. So Merry Christmas."

Me: "Are you Christian?"

Her: "Yes."

Me: "Well, I'm not. So Happy Holidays."

She got so stunned, like I'd slapped her. I was quite ready to get called in for being some kind of way with a customer but I guess she was too afraid of dealing with a heathen. Still, if you've ever worked retail, you'd know why this felt like a victory.

My nightmare of a previous boss called my moissanite engagement ring "cheap" and "trashy," and treated us to a 30-minute speech about how if it's not "real" diamond, it doesn't count.

I hope sucking down those Marlboro blacks takes care of that problem of a woman sooner, rather than later, and in the meantime the gorgeous rainbow sparkle of my pretty ring is made all the more beautiful for the complete lack of child slavery that went into making it!

... I also just realized that horrible harridan didn't have an engagement ring, or even a boyfriend, and now some things make sense.

Back in the dark times when I was an admin for a very popular website, some very hateful nazis were sharing images of a dead Jewish child and laughing and claimed to be literally jerking off to the image. They claimed she was 9.

So yknow. Not in a hurry to see pics. Just want a trusted source to verify that they exist.

I just wanted to say these comments are off the chain. This is how the internet used to be- just people chatting, making jokes and telling stories.

I didn't know how much I missed it.

Nutty Putty Cave is his Nutty Putty Grave sounds better for whatever reason.

Sounds like ADHD.

They're trying to do a "gotcha." What they mean is, "Are even the dead children responsible for the situation they were in?"

It's a fallacy; appeal to emotion. Obviously the dead children aren't reading this, or hearing the words that "all of us are complicit." Instead of thinking as a rational person would that the audience being addressed by those words are the people to who that phrase would apply, they did a rapid-fire, emotion-based response because they want to feel right and superior, instead of taking the mature, nuanced approach.

To add on to other's stories- my cat will come and hop into my lap 100% of the times I call him, even on another floor, and I didn't even train him to do this, he just really likes my lap.

Sometimes he does cute stretches on the way to me, or makes mrrps and other sounds to tell me he's coming (and I assume ask if there might be treats, because one time he mrrp'd and I somehow remembered that there were treats that exact moment like two years ago) but yeah. Cats can come when you call them.

Even if she does I say we leave that be. Women grow facial hair and society's stigma around it should be eliminated.

Source: women I know with PCOS and the way it affects them.

I gotta disagree with you homeslice.

Listening to my husband talk about Warhammer; cool as fuck, love that you love your hobby. Here are the top memes from grimdank that I don't understand but I know you will! I love that you laugh, then tell me why you laughed.

Listening to my husband talk about Magic: The Gathering? I do not give a fuck why are so many people all the way up the ass of Wizards and why do you assholes need to tell me every single time they partner to do limited runs of art from other IPs that are explicitly designed to make you shell out every goddamn dime every chance they get because FOMO!!

You're allowed to have limits is my point. Having limits on which things you just can't stand hearing about anymore doesn't make you a bad partner. It makes you human.

This is the wrong take. Instead of saying he got too much time for "date rape" (and considering the harrowing story of Jane Doe 1 and the way it was suppressed by the Church of Scientology I'm not so sure you've read about the severity of these charges) you should ask why a drunk driver got so little time.

But killing one person drunk driving is a less severe crime than a serial rapist in my opinion.

I usually don't respond to people with 88 in their name but I figured if an ignorant person read your comment without someone addressing it they might get the wrong impression.

"Some reason"

The reason being that anyone who has siblings and watched that commercial thought they acted like lovers, not siblings.

This is just The Game for kids.

I guess I'm a Boomer now.

From Wikipedia:

Frank Oz, who previously performed as Bert, stated Bert and Ernie were not gay, saying,

"They're not, of course, a gay couple. But why that question? Does it really matter? Why the need to define people as only gay? There's much more to a human being than just straightness or gayness."[17][18]

Sesame Street went on to clarify further, stating:

"No, Bert and Ernie aren't gay - they're 'best friends'".[19]

The Gaystar News reported that fans reacted negatively to this assertion. Frank Oz later tweeted in September 2018

A last thought: If Jim and I had created Bert and Ernie as gay characters they would be inauthentic, coming from two straight men. However, I have now learned that many view them as representative of a loving gay relationship. And that's pretty wonderful. Thanks for helping me understand.[20][21]

So, I would say they weren't intended that way from the start but only because the writers didn't think to do so. Frank Oz is a great reference for these things, and if he says "I love how you see them as representation" then that's good enough for me.

Love that the blood is represented.

Period poops finally getting their horrible, horrible time to shine.

Because this is Lemmy and we like anecdotes here, I have one for ya.

A couple years ago, during one of my many attempts to get fit, I went for a walk. At some point between my venturing forth and returning home, a wild turkey had come between me and my home.

I think it was female but I have no idea. The point here is, they're pretty big in person, and I had to decide as I was walking toward it... if the turkey didn't move? What if it charged me? What if it was aggressive, like a goose? I was stunned how unprepared I was to deal with this wild animal that I had apparently been living near for most of my life.

Anyways, long story short, I decided I could take a turkey in a fight. The turkey seemed to know that I had come to that decision, because as soon as I prepared myself to kick a turkey, it got out of my way.

The lesson here is, turkeys read minds, and as soon as you're sure you can defeat the turkey, it will allow you to proceed unmolested.*

*Just my opinion. Don't sue me if you lose a fight against a turkey. Also, if you lose a fight against a turkey, that just proves you didn't believe in yourself hard enough.

Austin Powers was such a good spoof of the genre that it killed the genre it was spoofing (for a little while). It was also a great movie in its own right!

To this day I'll say "There you are!" And if someone asks if they know me, or if I was looking for them, or any number of things, I'll say, "No, but there you are! You're there!"

This is not fair.

As a woman who keeps accidentally dating dudes named Robert, I keep coming up with new nicknames to keep them obviously different. That's the power move.

Also the Roberts all appreciate having a new, more unique name, so that's a good sign. Just make sure the person doesn't mind the nickname you choose, and you're in good.