good post.

I didn't find you abrasive. Abrasive would be to start insulting, writing all caps, insinuating with no facts, ranting... like trump

did you overlook communication? Did you act as a lone wolf in a team? Did you overlook to show off your own contributions?

so it's not enough doing my job but I actually have to show off like a... show off what I actually do? this is childish (don't want to start an argument with you, just pointing out this is childish...)

acting as a lone wolf: no more than my coworkers: some coworkers like working all alone, other are more collaborative. The ones that work alone, I leave them alone.

The examples you give are quite extreme, did you communicate about them correctly or could you communication look like pointing fingers? Did you follow up on them in the way that is usually used in the team? Did you make an enemy of a key player?

that I don't know. I just want a quiet life.

I am really this disconnected. thanks

40/60 rule here.

I'm sorry but I'm gonna have to ask what you mean: 40% taking 60% giving?, 40% concentrating on my job 60% talking about inane stuff to placate them?

so how do you survive them? and on a daily basis?

bullying

I'm discovering this the hard way.

I respected his decision.

these coworkers do not. I wouldn't need to lie if all coworkers were this respectful.

do you understand that this is an emotional response and it's kinda off to ask a person not to have trauma? do you think people like being bullied?

yeah, 40 and unmarried. I’m so lonely. I scream and cry myself to sleep every night. I drink 5 gallons of vodka just to make it thru a shift.

I imagine myself using your answers with my coworkers, who are gossips and they replying how rude I am, feeling outraged and refusing to help me with my job.

The thing is, I'd use this answer with people that separate their private life from their jobs, but where I am, and in nursing in general, this doesn't happen. And if they don't separate both things, then they stop helping all together when they perceive you as unfriendly, meaning I have to work more.

I guess the price I pay for their help is faking interest in their lives.

I need to work somewhere else, don't I?

Reading through the responses, it is blatantly clear that you are autistic

would you elaborate?

When someone else is speaking, do you wait for them to finish speaking before you do?

yes. otherwise I'm being rude. Person A speaks, then Person B speaks. I don't interrupt the person talking to me and don't allow anyone to interrupt me. If they interrupt me or yell I disengage and walk away. Why yelling?

Are you aware of the tone of your own voice?

I don't get what you mean. I talk in a clear, loud, neutral voice looking the person I talk to in the eyes, except when I'm busy. I can express questions and exclamations if you mean that. If I'm in dire need of something I yell to the room.

ace

you are right. thanks!

and that guarantees that they furiously gossip about it when I'm not around.

actually I don't agree.

To me this is deflection: they ask me something I don't want to answer, I lie to them and try to stay away from them: I don't disclose anything about me, they don't feel offended, don't start drama and leave me alone.

Gossips are gonna gossip no matter what I say, they need it, so I'd better disclose false information so they can attack me the least.

My strategy if they ask me again about my age if they suspect I lied to them or if they hear from other gossips my real age: lie again or say a ludicrous number. If they keep pestering me, remind them to go to work and go to work.

Sometimes I think I should work somewhere else.

everything's good, I didn't understand your /s

Its bullshit and I left that job because the introverts doing real work were under rewarded while people who talked loud a didn’t do shit got promotions.

true and a short story:

in one of the units I worked at I found a nurse similar to me: socially awkward and introverted. The best worker of that unit. She would clock in, get report, get to work. Always. She was the only one at that unit working like that consequently, daily, to the point of skipping pauses and doing overtime for free.

To this day I believe this person, so similar to me, maybe even more introverted than me did that because she was also bullied at other units for being herself and the only way she found of defending herself and not being bullied was working according to standard, those completely unrealistic standards managements prints but everyone disregards because life happens at a hospital.

It's a perfect defense mechanism for an introvert: if I work nobody can talk to me therefore I won't be bullied.

Except that this work rhythm is completely unsustainable and I won't do it.

To add insult to injury, this coworker, even though she is the most hardworking person at that unit and extremely organized will never be promoted because she, like me, doesn't know to play the social game extroverts excel at.

story's over

I don’t understand why you have to answer at all when someone asks your age

what would be your answer, when you don't want to disclose it?

I’ve never really had a problem.

then my coworkers are all busybodies who don't know what boundaries are.

Still, answering 'how old are you' with 'none of your business' seems overkill. I just want them to leave me alone.

am very careful with how I phrase stuff

I was always polite and vague with how I declined their questions early on

would you write some examples for me to use?