Plenty of good advice in this thread.

I'm gonna shout out the boy version of the book "what's happening to my body?"

https://www.amazon.com/Whats-Happening-Body-Book-Boys/dp/1557047650

It was super helpful to me in puberty, even with trusted male figures. It's written from a non-judgemental, information focused space. It also let's him has some way of privately seeking knowledge that isn't just whatever he finds on the internet

What the actual fuck.

CNC as a kink is fine, but to be done healthily requires really solid negotiation skills by all parties. Ain't no way in hell you can implicitly consent just by going to a party. Even the most edgey edge-player (someone who does risky bdsm play) I know would nope the fuck out of that.

Fucking awful.

To clarify, he was absolutely racist with really reactionary views. He wasn't a Nazi.

I'm not defending him, but I also think it's worth being clear about who was and wasn't a Nazi when discussing those alive during the Nazi Party.

For anyone curious, this letter (sorry for linking that site on lemmy, best source i could find) has him discussing Hitler in 1933. It's far more positive than I'd ever defend, but it's also pretty clear he's not a Nazi. He saw Nazism as the lesser of two evils compared to Bolshevism. I think that's a fucking bad take, but I don't think someone who says

"Still—don’t get my wrong. I’m not saying that Schön[e] Adolf is anything more than a lesser evil... When the Germans can get another leader, & emerge from the present period of arbitrary fanaticism, his usefulness will be over."

is a Nazi. He was just a good ol' New England reactionary racist.

This video essay also has some really great insight into discussing the reactionary nature of Lovecraft from a leftist standpoint while still recognizing his literary contributions.

I like the joke. However, I just gonna say, sounding really isn't intended to be a painful activity when done in a kink context. Despite looking crazy it's intended for pleasure not masochism

Don't sell Italy and Japan short.

Mussolini invented fascism, and did population-scale deployment of chemical weapons in Ethopia.. Imperial Japan are absolutely an all-time G.O.A.T of horrific war crimes.

Their behavior was egregious, and that's why they sided with the nazis.

I think the way you applied it showed some nuance, as you talked about it in non-absolute terms. However, when applied broadly it can be harmful.

If we always assume that homophobes and transphobes are queer and trans, then we assume that queer and trans folx are the ones hurting themselves. It's a small jump from there to say that closted lgbtq people are the source of lgbtq people's trauma, which is both harmful and false.

I don't think many people aware of the history of Planned Parenthood would argue Margaret Sanger didn't advocate eugenics, including Planned Parenthood

https://www.plannedparenthood.org/about-us/who-we-are/our-history

"Margaret Sanger’s racism and belief in eugenics are in direct opposition to Planned Parenthood’s mission. Planned Parenthood denounces Margaret Sanger’s belief in eugenics. Further, Planned Parenthood denounces the history and legacy of anti-Blackness in gynecology and the reproductive rights movement, and the mistreatment that continues against Black, Indigenous, and other people of color in this country."

Turns out that an organization can engage in self reflection and change beliefs over a century

I'll be the one to say it: who is actually using leashes with their shibari suspension?

Yes, there are absolutely Catholics to the left of the pope, less than under Francis but still.

The whole "trad-cath" movement is essentially a rejection of Vatican II reforms. Hell, Nick Fuentes is Catholic

Fascism is notoriously difficult to define. There's a huge amount of contention on it among historians, but one definition I like is Rodger Griffin's. In his definition the core ideology of fascism is

(i) the rebirth myth

(ii) populist ultra-nationalism

(iii) the myth of decadence

I think the MAGA movement pretty transparently meets all 3. The rebirth myth is literally in its name, the movement is pretty openly populist and ultra-nationalist, and decadence is how they describe their enemies (e.g. their rhetoric around trans and queer folk).

Just want to say I'm sorry your potential partners are turned off by consent seeking. I definitely wouldn't be with my partners if they didn't find consent sexy.

I can promise you that the actual bdsm community cares a great deal about consent. Negotiating is a critical skill in that context, especially if engaging in stuff that might look nonconsensual. If you like your sex kinky and consensual you might seek out your local kink scene.

Yeah, there is definitely an eeriness. The tone taken for the Deep Ones / fish people in The Shadow Over Innsmouth is really genocidal. The story was penned in 1930-31 though, so inspired by prior concentration camps

You can totally have a sexless D/s relationship where it's just about the power exchange. I know of a case with a lesbian woman and gay man in a D/s relationship. But that's explicitly not what is being discussed in the article

Dude is allowed to call his sexuality what he wants, but fantasizing about wanting a male dom who you bottom for anal to isn't straight

Ah, the classic right-wing technique of taking pictures from Folsom Street Fair and putting them next to pictures from Pride to imply they are the same thing.

Minor correction, Dan didn't testify. He was present for some of the depositions of Alex in the TX case, being there to help guide Mark Bankston's questioning. Mostly mentioning cause Dan was pretty clear he didn't want to actually testify

Not about Spinosaurus but this song is pretty much the same "dinosaur as mental health tool" vibe (well, synapsid not dinosaur)

https://youtu.be/nE1GgG34-wM?si=w8lGAB1BUh7t5EDU

RIP Drizly

I think it's highly contradictory, but when it comes to self applied identities like gender or sexuality I firmly believe it's only the business of the person who is identifying. It's not a definition thing to me, it's a self determination thing.

He's probably either in the closet or hasn't unpacked the ways he equates masculinity with penetration enough to open himself up to his femdom desires.

Either way, he's still allowed to call himself straight, even if he's pretty clearly mistaken.

Not sure where you think I claim to know the true path. I can assure you I don't, even just in my relationships. I was mentioning an option, if you wanted something, that seemed relevant based on your words. I'm confused how discussing folks who have a different view of consent make them cultists.

But the thing about consent being key is that you're more than welcome to reach your own conclusions. You do you.