Canonically some gets by every time, which is why they need ground crews with flame throwers, right?

This is a common misconception. While a pardon does mean some things (like removing your ability to plead the 5th in relation to the related case), it remains very disputed whether it constitutes an admission of guilt:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burdick_v._United_States#:~:text=Although%20the%20Supreme%20Court's%20opinion,by%20the%20recipient%20is%20disputed.

And their software integrated into their cars is much better and receives OTAs (as a Rivian owner). However also as a Rivian owner: I'd prefer car play/AA.