Why do all these homosexuals keep sucking my cock?

You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together, and when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig”.

God meant to kill the cat Baxter from the Meow Mix commercials; everything is still going according to plan.

I mean…I thought we were in agreement that these were improvements.

You put on the Thong Song and show them the goods.

My cat:

So The Far Side invented the “it’s all Ohio” meme

“Now, scratch the base of my tail and I will give you a better look.”

When she wants to speak to Death’s manager’s manager, is that God or is it Deaths all the way down?

That better be 40% dolomite!

That’s a cute tortie; love her black boop!

Nah, I had the same issue too. It turned out to be the size of the banner, but I went through trial and error to get the right size because I couldn’t find any lemmy documentation for what the right size is.

Looks like Attack on Titan.

Maybe a mix? I always assumed peanut butter and chocolate cats were at least part tortie. Then again, I didn’t even know the name until a few years ago, I just always referred to them as peanut butter cup cats 😅

500 million years for us to harvest their sweet, sweet blue blood.