Yeah, ive gotten into way better spaces nowadays which makes it easier. Ive also atleast somewhat realized and accepted things to myself but just not put it out there yet. But ALOT really comes from environment and spaces alone

Did I make it in time? Cant be over yet, no? Ask, if your girlfriend is nice, if she'd be willing to listen to strangers and could throw in an extra day for me 😉❤️

I have many things Im scared of sharing with alot of people, including kinks and fetishes. But ive come to the conclusion that this is a problem that runs way deeper than "being judged". Ive always wanted to be as open as i can. Ive always wanted to be able to talk casually about sex, intimacy, kinks and fetishes. However theres always something in my brain screaming at me not to do it. Ive been partly able to tell people online when i feel like theres enough leeway that they wont influence my irl social circles but even then i struggle.

Just recently figured out this is probably because of some sort of trauma and upbringing. Ive always had a terribly hard time being open. Just starting talking to a therapist so hopefully i can work on it though. It is incredibly frustrating and draining to just walk around with all of this in your head. Like, its at the point where im 90% sure my partner would be very interested in some of my fantasies but i just cant open up about it.

Shame, guilt, anxiety, judgement, social expectations, upbringing, whatever you could think of would probably be relevant to explain the pure cope my brain is going through to not let anything slip. I hate it.