That’s simply not possible, I need my employees to be working more hours, not less. Last year I could barely afford my sailing trip to Aruba. If such a law passes I’m going to have to fire some people for sure or raise rents on my tenants.

This guy makes a great point! My employees have been significantly more uppity since the unemployment rate has been down, but at least they don’t have a union, I’ve heard horror stories from some of the other business owners at the country club.

I’ve noticed this trend at several of my businesses. It’s impossible to find good help, I even offer all sorts of fun perks like themed thursdays where everybody has to dress up to match whatever theme I pick and whoever does it best gets a Starbucks gift card. Whenever it’s somebody’s birthday that person brings in pizza for everybody to share.

I think the pandemic and government hand outs have made people extra lazy, even more than they were before.

Hi, landlord here and I want to clear up any misconceptions. I don’t build any houses, I only buy them up and then rent them out at a profit.

This is a great innovation by Phillips, and it follows rule 8 from my best selling business book, “12 rules for business”.

Rule 8: The business is always right - never give customers a choice when you can dictate the terms to them instead.

Well they’re not as valuable because they didn’t have to be dug out the ground. The amount of work that goes into something is what makes it valueable. That’s why I only buy the toughest to reach diamonds from the most brutal mines in Africa, now those are valuable!

Have you considered that the CEO is working 300 times harder than the worker you are comparing them to??

It’s good practice to buy at least one or two new smartphones per year.

You’re confused. An honorable and successful landlord such as myself would not be caught dead walking around in a goofy looking hardhat swinging a wrench around or whatever construction people do.

That’s not a bad idea. Then once I’ve gotten the employees to donate a certain amount like $5,000 I can deliver it to the charity myself in the form of a big cardboard check, and do a photo op and put it in the company newsletter so everybody knows how good I am.

Happy to rent to you! Let’s not get confused though, you’ll be paying for all of your own living expenses as well as for mine. Due every month on the first.

It’s surprising that in all these years, nobody came up with this innovation to make Twitter more profitable but in just a short time period, Musk was able to figure it out. Goes to show why he’s the richest man in the world!

No, I’m quite literally not, in any way. I’ll take just one of my many investment properties to explain to you how dumb you’re being. This house was built in a suburb of San Diego in 1979 and sold for $25,000. The people who built it are possibly dead by now and were, all together paid $25,000 for the land together with the house that they built. It changed hands many times, at some point a bank foreclosed on whoever was living there, and I bought it from the bank. The house is worth $775,000 dollars now and I rent it out for $3,500 a month. Every 7 months I make more money renting out this house than the people who built it were ever paid for doing that, and me buying it had absolutely nothing at all to do with it getting built.

Please stop trying to make me out to be a construction worker. I’m not, I’m a landlord and proud of it.

It’s quite a big distinction to me, I’m not a fucking construction worker. Gross. I also don’t usually pay anybody to build a house, I mostly scoop up already existing homes whenever there’s a market crash and the lazy poors get foreclosed on.

An inspiration, all teachers should do this!

But at what cost? Employees are less productive without the watchful eye of a skilled manager.

Your argument is that there is NOT a significant difference between me building a house vs me buying a house 50 years later. As for the properties that I’ve put into my infant son’s name already, he pretty much built those houses himself right? No difference.

Take the L you fucking loser. You will never smear my son and I as being measly construction workers.

This is what I love about the free market. You can change the world by drinking the right sodas!

I’m coming to your funeral now just to piss you off