I still am not sure if that’s the root cause of mine, but it’s likely.

You’d be surprised… I currently have two LTRs that started as Grindr hookups…

That’s all really tough. I transitioned at 40. I completely understand feeling like you wasted a good portion of your life. You are a lot younger than you realize still. Your life is far from over, you will achieve your goals, and many more.

I produce electronic music, if you ever want some help or advice or to collaborate on something shoot me a message, I’d be happy to help you create something amazing.

It is! That was SO unexpected to me. I thought I was choosing to be alone :( Nope, more love in my life than there has ever been!

That’s the neat think, they don’t.

All of those really hit home, but that last one… I felt for 20 years that transitioning was something others got to do, but that for some reason I couldn’t. I never questioned why but I always felt like I wouldn’t be allowed to. I just assumed my body wasn’t right for it, or I was just making up that desire to mask other problems I had.

Now I see that it’s not like I thought it was at all, that the only person that was actually stopping me was myself. Anyone can transition, there’s no certain way you have to look, no specific background you have to have. What it takes is desire and bravery.

Meow :3

My definition is relationships I’ve been in for a good while that I intend to stay in. Why the personal attacks though? Seems pretty rude for no reason.

Because many of us don't view ourselves as having ever been the other gender. I was never male, but I was strongly encouraged by society to present and act as though I was so I did. It’s not “painful” it’s incorrect and a frustrating assumption.

It makes it sound like I either chose to switch, or something happened that switched me. Neither are true. I have ALWAYS been female, I just didn’t allow myself to show that to anyone outwardly until I transitioned.

Because they were told they can’t, if people could think for themselves we wouldn’t be in this mess in the first place.

It works because my partners aren’t completely dependent on me for emotional and physical needs. I am able to focus on the parts of relationships I want or need, and my partners are free to find the same with others.

If I’m having a bad day I have three people I can count on to love and support me, and I’m able to celebrate my successes three times. I’m almost never alone in supporting my partners and that helps take so much pressure off me and the relationship.

There’s also absolutely no energy wasted worried if someone is cheating on me, instead I feel great for them when they find a partner that they really like. Poly is different than what most people are used to, but it’s really working for me and my partners.

Good thing spreadsheets are one of my kinks then.

Someone can’t get catgirls to pay attention to them… I feel sorry for you.

Goals

Thank you!

Yep, I’ve found it really comes down to setting the right intentions up front, and being selective in who you play with. My goal was never to be on Grindr forever, but that’s where I had to go to meet fun kinky trans people in my area.

Yes, everyone should join us.

Please share! Could be very helpful

Yes, that is exactly how I felt. Looking back it’s obvious I was just exceptionally good at playing the role I felt I had to though. I was good at it because it was all I knew how to be. I had practiced it forever, it was what had become comfortable for me.

What I didn’t realize was that wasn’t normal to have to try that hard. I was great at pretending to be a man, at acting like people expected me to, at playing the role.

I thought that’s how transitioning would feel, that I would have to learn how to pretend to be female. Except I didn’t, and it was much more about accepting myself and dropping the act than it was learning how to be someone else.

I am just me now. I’m not pretending to be anything, I’m not trying to be what anyone else wants. It doesn’t matter if anyone thinks I make a “good” or a “bad” woman anymore. It matters that I love who I am, I’m comfortable in my body, and I have hope for the future.

Aww! Thank you :) Outfits just kinda make sense now, could never figure out male fashion.