But you become extremely jaded and disappointed in anyone younger than yourself, overcome with än irredeemable urge to tell people to pull themselves up by their bootstraps

Ads are blocked for me in real life. Billboards, posters, tv-commercials, all gone!

I can jump 10x my own height and can stick to walls

All my bodily functions smells nice, sort of perfume-like.

Mosquitos that drink my blood instantly die

Seeds i plant always grow to the full size plant in a day.

I can talk to animals

I can see dead people

I have a set of mental buttons i can press which lets me instantly fix some common flaws of being a human:

• fall asleep
• stop humming a song stuck in my head
• stop feeling light headaches
• postpone hunger for 3 hours
• shut of tinnitus
• make the itching stop

But you have to lie everytime you communicate

But it also has no speed limit, causing items you pull around to reach light speed almost instantly, effectively growing to infinite size for the duration of the pull

Clicking the community link in mlem takes me to the mail app on ios, just fyi, might cause less people to easily subscribe to the community.

This might be an honest question, but you should also read up on how it will likely be percieved: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fear,_uncertainty,_and_doubt

What makes you think a few instanced will end up having all users?

Lets say, they grow to full ripe size every day