When people turn a popular post into an Oscars Acceptance Speech

ETA: wow thanks for the upvotes!

ETA2: omg my first gold award?? I couldn't have made it without my mom and Jesus through whom all things are possible

I'm betting on this guy not lasting until November 2024 (not sure what the over/under is on November 17, 2023).

I remember hearing all the boomer "take my wife...please! Ole ball and chain" jokes growing up. I fuckin love my husband. I love being married. I feel bad for people who think resenting their spouse is the default. I get to touch butt pretty much whenever I want.

He did pardon almost everybody he could. In 2022 and again in 2023 he pardoned all federal marijuana related crimes below trafficking.

If you were convincted of state level weed related crimes, you will have to take it up with your governor.

I use it around my hairline before I color my hair so as not to stain my skin.

It's just not sustainable. Lab-grown meat is here, it just needs to get to scale, get a bit cheaper and boom. Farming and killing animals for food will be obsolete.

I can't tell what that person's intent is because the post is filled with "I'm sorry you're upset" platitudes that accept no responsibility or even an understanding of why the mods are so upset in the first place; just more unpaid work they're expected to do to keep it from happening again.

I read somewhere on Reddit or somewhere way back when about The nasal cycle where one nostril sort of constricting (just due to blood flow and normal sinus congestion) allows for optimal air flow and moisture in our nostrils.

The poster also said that if this regular nasal cycle resulted in being unable to breathe on one side, consistently, you have a deviated septum. I don't know if that's 100% true, but I 100% had a deviated septum.

He was not pardoned for any drug use or possession, but rather for gun charges and tax evasion.

At this point there's no way to do it legally. Ballots are already being printed. But legality's not an issue for Trump and his personal fan club.

I think Vance could step down, then Trump would have no running mate, I think? And a VP would be appointed by Congress if he wins? Idk.

That would imply an authority higher than Elon that he must submit to, and that just isn't possible.

Nobody expects you to understand a metaphor. It's for the rest of us to lol at.

Not to mention this is the state that lets anybody claim a $10,000 bounty on anybody aiding an abortion. Can't get anybody to cover your shift at work, watch your other kids, help you pay for doctors, flights, and hotels to just hop, skip, and jump on over to New Mexico because any busy body can sue those people for helping you get an abortion.

Actually, he's trying to stay out of prison now.

I am not in this image and that costs me a lot of money in therapy.

:(

Not everybody used to be on it. There was a stigma to socializing online. "Don't give out your address, full name, or credit card info online!!" Shit I don't want to have to give it to a person these days. Online dating, not my thing, but I love that it's bringing people together. It's not as strange to quit your job and move across the country to get married to your internet boyfriend as it used to be.

Most people on the internet are normal people because most people are on the internet.

That's okay, it's still sending all your data to Meta, and that's the important thing.

I think they overestimated how much engagement the average reditter provides. Most people are consuming content, but not contributing any or posting comments or clicking ads or anything. 90% of engagement is driven by like 20% of users or some shit like that.

It's definitely both. Love when my husband puts work and effort into our home and life together. 😍😍

It's such a bummer he's so tired after all the chores lol

I've seen lots of speculation that Trumbo is trying to get himself thrown in jail for the publicity of it all. It would result in a huge fundraising boost and conservative outrage, even if just for a short while, and no one wants to give him the satisfaction.