I hope NATO does get involved. Not the same way Trump hopes though...

Yeah, and I'm fairly certain he bought the right to be called 'founder' of Tesla... From the founders.

"When the rich rob the poor, it's called business. When the poor fight back, it's called violence."

I put a gun to my head, ready to end it all.

Woke up in a hospital. No drugs involved.

I drove myself there. The gun was in the glove compartment. Apparently, I self admitted through ED.

I remember NOTHING from gun to my head to waking up in the hospital.

Not sure if that qualifies as near death, but I think I was.

I am better now. That was years ago, I came close again recently, but this time I have answers about myself and a place to start.

You missed Vladimir Putin and Pete Buttigieg!

"Became clear..."

At what point was it not clear? Form 4473 is really straightforward on this!

I have a high IQ as well as ADHD and Autism.

Out of context, scoring as high as I did really meant next to nothing. In the context of the diagnoses I received later in life, definitely made sense, and helped color a picture painted in two solid days with a psychologist.

Somehow, I think it's important that the IQ test I took was not called an IQ test to me until after. Like, I knew I was in for tests, but more broadly told what things were about.

As a student, I had a science teacher who had been teaching many years, tell my mother he had never seen a student think in the manner I did. I was doing exceptionally well in class, but did not exceed in the fashion that would get me into an ivy league school, which at the time was supposed to be a goal. My father graduated MIT.

There are times when it's great. When I can focus on something, I can learn a lot and get very good at it. However, I spent decades with two obstacles I could never get myself past: the inability to keep that focus or control it, and the inability to even understand other people enough to try to get along with them long-term.

The result is I am just now, at 41, starting to figure out what I want to do with my life after way too long in a profession I should never have entered, and burned out of twice. And by burn out I do not mean tired and sad, I mean hospitalization.

In summary, it can be pretty great, but in my case it's fraught with difficulty as well.

First thing in the morning I chug a tall glass of water. Somehow that's actually made a healthy difference.

I had an aunt and uncle who, when I was a kid maybe 12, were not well off. They got my brother and I each this toyset that was like make pretend welding. It had a hand tool that, if I remember, let you weld with this soft plastic to make things with the parts in the kit.

It also had a chamber near the nozzle that spun and contained something that made a bunch of sparks.

Well... The thing kept zapping and burning me. Kinda hurt. So, being 12, I complained about it.

And of course, I was an ingrate for not liking the toy they could afford instead of a Lego set or something. The worst of it was I got what my parents meant, my aunt and uncle were kind of ashamed. But it burned me.

Hell I thought it was really cool, and even said so, but I couldn't keep playing with it due to, you know, my hand being red and kinda cut up.

Just bad times all around.

And no, no one suggested put a glove on, and it did not come with one.

There are so many things that just shouldn't be digitized. I get it but... Just no.

My retirement plan is to die in the climate wars.

No. Just no. Seriously.

Think about red flag laws. Think about the person who likes guns, and shoots for fun, maybe they hunt too. Lawfully. Then they have a mental health break. They get help, but the state, and you could argue rightfully, temporarily takes their guns. OK. They were a threat to themselves, and the law in place set guidelines resulting in 6 months of no guns, no ammo, and cannot make any purchases.

Important note: this person is NOT a criminal, and hasn't broken any laws. They would be breaking the law by buying a gun, or ammo, or possessing such during the 6 months to a year (that's a range in Minnesota).

Honestly, I am a fan of red flag laws in principle. It's a good idea all told. Now, we're going to place 3D printers in the same category? What if this person's favorite hobby, something that is helping them recover, is 3D printing? You, the state, in the interest of preserving health, are now forcibly eroding it by edging toward treating a 3D printer as a gun.

Yes, this comes from a true story, not in New York. This bill really shouldn't leave committee.

Phone's haunted.

Also... Google translate says hai is German for shark. So there's that.

Yeah... But maybe never interrupt your enemy when they are making a mistake.

I work retail. People walk up to me like I'm a robot.

"Duck tape??" They just... Bark at me. I have gotten to the point that I refuse to tell them where something is until they treat me like a human being and ask a very simple question, "where's duck tape?"

Wait, you guys have retirement accounts?

Therapy.

I saw my need for therapy coming over a year ago, and wait was so long I didn't get therapy started until October.

That and I am hoping to start writing. A blog of some sort. Help me think through everything in a way that might help the two or however many readers I manage to gather.

There's losing sight, and then there's trying to find it. I remember a short video where a toddler was wandering straight for a road, and someone happened to prevent a tragedy, and mom came running out of the house as the camera was still rolling.

People were calling negligence, what a terrible mom, yadda yadda. No, that mom was running around the house looking for her kid, frantic as time passed. You just don't think they can open the door that early. Manipulating a door latch or knob is a developmental milestone, plus, what if the door didn't properly latch? Mom could just as easily looked outside first, but that would be counterintuitive.

Also, "I thought you had him/her?" Is a real thing.

Try to take the time to care for your mental and emotional health when you need to, then, instead of stewing for years and years. I made the mistake of rolling with it, turned 35, and I'm lucky to still be here at 40.

Still struggling. Wish I'd spoken with someone years ago.

Can we fucking not.