Our band was going to do a concert. Decent punk. It was in my first love's mom's appartment, so not much space. I lived just down the hall, but somebody told me to not bring my bass amp because they already have one. I decided to bring a distortion pedal which I hadn't ever used with a bass. Feeling frisky.

Arriving, there was no bass amp. Instead I was allowed to plug the bass into the washing machine, which had minor amplifying capabilities. the sound was laughably low and tinny. I said "really, my totally adequate bass amp is just down the hall", but the mom did not budge. Not enough space. Already cramped, she said.

Some dude showed up and attached a small monitor speaker to the washing machine which maxed out at a volume that was still way too low.

This was not going to be a good gig for me.

After that the dream went meandering into what could've been touring with the band...

Had a dream where I got invited to go watch the public "dehydration" of someone.

It was like a public execution in revolutionary France, but instead of the guillotine it was some method they used to dehydrate your head until it shrunk and fell off like a dried leaf.

...and like every single one of the moms is convinced they can outpace the curse half. But like half of the kids come out as straight axe murdering psychopaths. Like the mom wishes for the kid to be a math prodigy or whatever and they decide to lower the grocery bill by murdering all their siblings.

And there's one kid that doesn't come out murderous but he does keep setting shit on fire accidentally. He's horribly distressed because it's all completely accidental and no one believes him. Winds up in the hospital cuz he can't take it anymore. Finally turns out he just has to be in the water all the time. His mom wished for him to be an Olympic athlete and he came out an Olympic swimmer not even because it made him good at it but because he couldn't leave the water. The curse literally left his guilt in by design.

Also it turns out his mother was the only person to actually pass her trial. Like they all have to do something like not eat for a month and they all snuck in a cheat meal or whatever because somehow they thought the curse wouldn't "catch them" or something. Hers was literally to sit 100% alone in a 100% featureless concrete underground room in a chair for three days and not even touch the floor and she actually legit did it. Like she overdid it and accidentally did four days because there was no clock like she had to guess when she could come out and she wanted to be sure.

This fever dream is brought to you by me running out of clonidine. You're welcome.

My recent gun instructor's name was Eric Beer.

I guess this fascinates me a lot because I had a dream where Eric Beer ran for president and his running mate was Andrea Drugs and they won by a landslide simply because they coined the term "The Beer and Drugs Campaign"

my gf and i went to NYC and we needed to hit up the nearest convenience store ASAP. i look up on google maps and the nearest one is named "Hell" with 3.7 stars. we walk across the street to it and the front face of the store is just fucked with all these demonic creatures and symbols. and the store logo is exactly the same as that doom metal band from portland named Hell. anyway you can clearly see inside the store that it is just a normal shoppers drug mart like store. so we go in. after we pay we cannot seem to find the door. its just gone? after wandering around we end up exiting through the back into an alley and it becomes this like randomly-generate-as-you walk minecraft type thing where you can only see so far ahead as more world generates. and basically its generating some demonic hellscape version of NYC and all the people walking around on the streets are just fucked. like that creature from smiling friends where he goes too far into the woods

I dreamt I was part of a group hiking in South America and searching for something. The sky was cloudy. It was a bit foggy in some areas. We were on a very high plain rock plateau surrounded by rainforesty hills and several smaller, pillar like plateaus.

We were setting up tents and talking about where the thing we are searching might be, when I saw another group of three hikers climb barely noticable stairs on a hill between two smaller pillar like plateaus. I pointed at them and some of my group looked.

When you knew there are stairs, you could see them despite the greenery crawling over them. There is a serpentine like curve at one point, so the stairs can be less steep, then the steps led to a cave at the top of the hill with a chiseled recrangular decorated entrance. Is the hill an overgrown aztec piramid? Their stairs usually go straight, so we doubted that.

The other group was approaching the curve, when suddenly before them an arc of the stairs and surrounding ground moved and folded up, like they triggered some mechanism with counterweights or so. The arc erected over the stairs like a gate with the side of it that was buried in the ground now facing the hikers.

It had three animal heads on that side, one a big cat like a panther or so, one like a horse or goat and I couldn't make out what the third was, because it was dirty with soil and braches.

Suddenly I have the urge to know what's in the cave on top before they do. We have a winged camera drone that looks like a silver bird with green eyes and let it fly. We can see a video feed from its cam on a tablet.

As it enters the cave, an invisible force field briefly flashes red when drone goes thru. Inside is a clear water pond on the right of a big room with black stone cave walls (maybe volcanic rock). In the center a throne like seat carved from a stone formation faces the entrance. A woman wearing only jewelry like a wesekh/usekh and bracelets around her arms and ankles walks through the room, then notices the drone. She says something in a dead language, but I understand it's basically "look who finally arrived".

Suddenly I know she's dangerous and somehow made us search here and the force field keeps her imprisoned. I feel I should warn the hikers on the stairs urgently, while the drone flies a curve and towards the entrance, but before it can exit, the woman grabs it. Then I woke up.

Woke up from a nap where Dick Cheney moved into my house and took over my computer desk, and he kept accusing me of stealing his stationary and pens because our mail kept being delivered there even though we lived somewhere else now.

Also apparently cocaine is made by honey bees, and his wife said she HATED honey, but liked cocaine and didn't know how to rectify the situation, so we took her cocaine/honey source and put it in small Japanese wasabi ramekins.

I had a dream where I lived in a society of literal beavers. We had all left our homes to view the opening of a megastructure dam and the creation of a new beaver lake utopia.

We were swimming in the lake when the bombs dropped. The ferrets had bombed the dam and declared war on all of beaverdom in one fell swoop.

I rode the rushing waters back down the river to the other dam societies that I passed along the way, and I had to keep telling people that their loved ones didn't make it.

Eventually I made it all the way back to my home, and my dad was just staring at the 1000 yard stare because he KNEW nobody else made it.

Also beaver women were mad at me because I was one of the only surviving males and they didn't like that I wasn't "beaver hot"

I dreamt I worked in a TV studio and we were in a hurry recording a segment about coconut palm trees. We had an expert about it in one studio room and he was explaining how long it takes for them to grow and to grow nuts.

I was in the hallway between studios and organizing things, wearing a headset and clipboard.

I could see through a door into the live news studio. Konata from Lucky Star was the news anchor. She waited at the desk for the news segment to start.

I went outside the studio, where an open carriage was waiting with a few different size coconut trees on it.

I went back in to check how it went. When I walked by the news studio, I caught a glimpse of Konata being literally grilled to a corpse by the spot lights heat. Then I woke up.

I had to do something important on my phone, but then I noticed the top of the frame was at a different angle than the bottom. They should be aligned, so I turned the top with two fingers, but then it turned too far by itself and the angle was just wrong the other way. Confused I turned it back and forth. It wouldn't stay aligned. Suddenly I was worried what this would do to the insides of the phone. It could break. The screen still showed normal things tho. I decided to put it on a flat surface like a table, but there was none in this room. While I walked to another room, the phone suddenly felt like rubber/silicone. Gravity alone made it bend a little and on every step I took the top bobbed up and down. Then I woke up.

I dreamt I was using public transit trying to get a train, but I wasn't on the station yet. I was on a big dry street dirty with rust with a walkway in the center and an extremely long arched diesel punk looking thin escalator hanging by two large steel ropes halfway like a suspension bridge that led directly to the train platform very high above me. The construction made me feel small.

I got on with a crowd of many ppl, but then I realised it was the wrong platform it led to and some ppl in the crowd said so too and "we will never make it in time to the right platform."

But unlike them, after reaching that wrong platform, I just got on another, slightly less long suspended escalator going downwards. It was short enough to not have steel cables but was arched as well.

Using that, I reached an area that wasn't a platform. I was on dry firm dusty soil between many train tracks. Some tunnels ended there.

I was getting ready to jump on a freight train that was about to come out of one of the tunnels. Its head lights were already illuminating the tunnel walls of a curve inside. But then a guy in a yellow signal vest on the other side of the tracks said "Hey! Do you even know the codes to control the trains? Braking is 50000." I said "No, I just know 2000 and 5000." "That's too dangerous. How do you even brake?" "Well I just put my feet out on the ground on both sides of the train while holding on to it."

I could clearly remember the picture in my mind how I had done it in the past from an empty brown open train carriage they use to transport wood. Somehow trains were small enough for me to sit on them dangling my feet on both sides at the same time.

The guy laughed. He said he had jumped on trains all his life, but never heard of anyone braking like that. I said "Here it comes. Check this out."

The train shot out of the tunnel and suddenly I was seeing myself like in a video game third person view. I stood in front of the train speeding towards me, then jumped and landed on the empty open carriage right behind the engine, like on a surfboard. Then I held on to it and put both feet on the ground and steered and halted it like a sleigh right in front of the other guy. He was impressed how I wrangled the train without using codes. That's when I woke up.

Last night I dreamed I was the most unhinged Marine drill instructor in history, and my entire leadership philosophy revolved around one sacred metric: crystal clear urine.

I burst into the barracks at 0500 doing that weird half run instructors do, slam the door so hard the windows rattle, and scream:

“WHO’S CLEAR PISSING TODAY, BOYS?”

The platoon snaps to attention and roars back:

“WE ARE, SIR!”

I cup my ear. “I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of your DEHYDRATED KIDNEYS!”

“WE ARE, SIR!!”

“That’s what I like to hear. Hydration is intimidation, boys!”

Then I march straight into the latrine for the daily piss inspection. I’m talking full white glove treatment, except it’s a turkey baster and a headlamp. One toilet has the faintest yellow tint, like someone dropped a single drop of crystal lite lemonade in there.

I come storming back out, face purple, veins popping, holding the toilet brush like a javelin.

“WHO. LEFT. A. CLOUDY. PISS. IN MY LATRINE?

Dead silence. Crickets. A single nervous fart echoes in the back row.

I start pacing, slow and murderous.

“Private Rodriguez, you look suspicious. You been sipping coffee instead of America’s finest tap water?”

“No sir!”

“Private Jenkins, you’ve got the complexion of a dehydrated houseplant. Step forward.”

Jenkins takes one baby step.

I shove the toilet brush in his face. “Smell that, Jenkins. That’s failure. That’s weakness leaving the body…through the wrong colored urine.”

Then I make the entire platoon chant the sacred hydration mantra while doing pushups on the floor.

“WHAT DO WE SAY ABOUT CLOUDY PISS?”

“A CLOUDY PISS MEANS A CLOUDY MIND, SIR!”

“AND HOW DO WE WANT OUR FELLOW SOLDIER'S MIND?”

“CLEAR LIKE HIS PISS, SIR!”

“LOUDER, I WANT THE CORPSE OF CHESTY PULLER TO HEAR THIS IN HEAVEN!”

“CLEAR LIKE HIS PISS, SIR!!!”

I finally let them stop, chests heaving, tears mixing with sweat.

I point at Jenkins. “You will chug one full canteen, recite the mantra fifty times, and report back to me with a urine sample so clear I can read the Bible through it. Do you understand me?”

“YES SIR!”

“Dismissed. Now fall out and hydrate like your life depends on it, because in my platoon, it does.”

I don't remember much of the dream, but we went through a home and it had several Roombas. My companions didn't know Roombas and I explained it to them. Then we encountered one in black and silver that was about 60cm in diameter and about 1m high, but built like a wedding cake with sections getting smaller towards the top and the top was more like a recrangular head sensor array. It had a large spinning ring wiper on the bottom, surrounding its wheels. Then I had to explain how to maintain it and opened several compartments and everyone was like "woah". It was a modular design; easily replacable parts like all roombas are IRL, just huge.

I dreamt there was a new way to turn ppl into big beast like four legged monsters with big fangs.

Unlike the former method, that was used by villains, had plummeted the world into chaos and devastated the urban region I was currently in, it was reversible. The person would keep their mind mostly. These new monsters were a bit smaller, but could think straight.

I was working as a test subject for the organisation which developed the new method. I was in human form and we were currently deployed to a ruined hotel building where a monster had been reported.

We went inside and a female scientist with a white lab coat opened a red and silver metal suitcase. She pushed some buttons inside and a few of us, inluding me, turned into monsters.

My thoughts became slower and my vision got a slightly red filter, but I was able to see electromagnetic fields of security cameras, lights and live wires as bright spots or lines, even weakly through walls. Also, I could vaguely sense the enemy monster, I was here to hunt. It was higher up the building. So we sped for the staircase, bursting through too small doorframes. We climbed the stairs jumping mostly over the steps and sensed the hunted monster had heard us and went to the roof.

As we reached the topmost floor, access to the roof was barricaded by an unusally big and strong white painted rusty metal door with bolted plates on it, which had been blocked from the other side. The carped was dark red. It took two of us to break the door open and it was severely bent in the process. A bent solid metal flagpole dangled from its handles on the other side.

As we finally went through and reached the roof, the other monster had already jumped to another building, ran away and was already too far off.

Then I woke up.

So we were 100% human looking space aliens in this weird escape room game where we had to figure out how to get out of an area but it was outside, but this time a key part was missing for opening the gate. A female looking alien said "No!" She opened her mouth and a familiar ticking noise came out. Another alien looking like Danny DeVito freaked out: "Do we have to cut her open?". A third, male looking muscular alien, had some weird device that looked like a split waffle iron on an oily ground metal detector. He put her head in between and it magnetically sucked a capsule out of her mouth, but she also spit blood. We used the capsule to unlock the area.

Now me, the capsule woman and another alien woman decided to bring her to the hospital, while the others wanted to continue the game. We went in the back of a truck for moving cargo. We got a bit shaken in the back of the truck, but finally one alien wondered "why did it stop moving? is this normal?" and then the back door rolled up and we tumbled out. It was a beige military hospital on a summer day and there was a drill seargent in front who was shouting a super long vowel for two rows of cheering veterans in parade uniforms forming a passage. This somehow bothered us so much, we couldn't get past him. We circled the building for another entrance, but it was surrounded by wire fence.

Finally, when we were on some sort of very long curved ramp returning to the front, where the guy was still shouting the vowel, i saw the ramp ended in a blocked driveway. There was a gap in the wire fence of the building and the fence of the blockade. I told the others and we slipped thru. There was some sort of catering/bbq going on behind it. Lots of hospital staff ate. There were benches. We found an open roll up door into some storage part of the building. There was a female nurse on the other side of a blue and orange steel cupboard with various things on it like barbed wire rolls, pipes, etc. The other aliens spoke thru the cupboard with the nurse, while I admired the barbed wires tiny blades welded to it, which were one big spiky triangle and three small ones per section. I poked the big triangle and it scratched the skin on my fingertip. I thought "built to hurt". They didn't figure out how to get to the nurse yet. Then mexican party music started and i started dancing like a maniac.

Then the alarm clock woke me up.

Sorry about this format, it reads as a 4chan green text because I just wanted to take quick notes before going back to sleep. Well, I can't sleep anymore now so here's the dream I just had:

[ Dream ]

• Go to department store, give car to valet parking.
• Do some errands.
• Go buy italian food to eat at home.
• Accidentally mispronounce it.
• Lady corrects me and I thank her.
• Pay for food with a 200 mxn bill.
• I get a 500 mxn bill and some coins back as change.
• Say this is not correct.
• Order a second serving.
• Pay with the 500 bill.
• Get the initial 200 back as change.
• Accept it for some reason but I'm weirded out.
• Go to parking lot to get in my car.
• Car is parked weird and the trunk is open.
• Look around and see other cars parked the same way and with their doors open.
• Drive out starting to suspect people being poisoned by some gas leak or something (maybe carbon monoxide)
• Driving in the city, take a left turn.
• It is a nice looking neighbourhood of apartment buildings.
• There is a median with some grass and palm trees in the middle of the road.
• There is a person lying on the ground in said median, the body is covered completely in red. Maybe paint?
• No features discernible.
• I see another "body"
• And another. Then a couple of them piled on the road.
• They are everywhere and they are in weird and contorted poses.
• There are so many now I have to reduce my speed and drive around them.
• At the end of the road, there are two people standing covered completely in red. No features are discernable.
• They are kissing passionately
• I turn back
• They are now biting and eating into each other with the same passion.
• Get that goosebumps feel you get during a nightmare.
• I wake up in real life.
• Hear a police or ambulance siren in the distance.
• Bunch of dogs start barking.
• Stay like that for five or six minutes.
• I don't want to check the clock, I know something's wrong.
• I check the clock...
• 3:39 am
• I knew it.