Do you recall? Did you participate?

There was a pen-pal program - you got an actual pen-pal that you wrote letters to (on paper) Pretty sure it was primarily for young coming-out gaybies back in the late 1980s/early 1990s. I heard about it (age 17 I think) clandestinely on the transformational radio program 'This Way Out' in the wee hours when I should have been asleep.

I got a pen-pal and we corresponded for a bit until we met (!) at a Jack-in-the-Box near the Los Angeles Gay Center. I had to use a friend's address to get the letters.

There was also a 'coming out group' (?) at the LA Gay Center; I forget what it actually was called but I'm pretty sure the two were connected in some way.

I've contacted 'This Way Out', they didn't know what I was talking about. The LA Gay Center is impossible to contact, so no luck there.

The whole thing was just a life saver and I want to thank whoever created that pen-pal program.

Do you know who created it/how to contact them? Did you participate in either the pen-pal program or the 'coming out' groups at the LA Gay Center in/around 1989-1991?

Like, I get bareback feels better but, like, HIV is still a thing, and other STIs too I guess. But seems like nobody actually cares lately. Am I the one being weird?

I’m 29, almost 30, and never had a boyfriend. I’m on like 20 dating apps and a lot of them don’t reply back or I get unmatched. A lot of them aren’t my type. But when I go to New York I see my type (gym rats) with someone who is bigger than them, they’re definitely feeders. But it’s not fair, I’m not fat, I workout I deserve a gym rat boyfriend who enjoys pop music and likes to get high. Like my standards aren’t high. Why is it so hard to get a boyfriend!?

Only guys that give me attention are guys I pay for (Rentmen). I want something real and not transactional. I also got banned on tinder and collective, and reddit so I can’t even meet guys there. It’s not fair I deserve a boyfriend.

Are there any other single gay guys (50+) out here?

I'm not looking for dating/relationship advice/offers.

I'm asking single gay men: What are your retirement plans?

Is there a retirement village where all the gays go to?

Right now, I rent in SF. I'm alone

First off, most of us don't have one "type",I think, for example I have never been able to look at a guy and say he is hot because and name one attribute that made that true. To add to that I have had people "get sexy" that that I swore I would never want to date/hookup with because of conversation, talent, and all kinds of crazy shit.

Now with all that out of the way, not "what's your type" but what are some dating standards that you hold onto more or less rigidly?

I will start with a little reluctance, I was, and still am to a much lesser extent a heavy man, but I don't find myself compatible with other heavy people, bulky, bearish, or a little fluffy. I felt I was being hypocritical and that was part of the reason I am working hard to get into shape.

Hey everyone! I noticed while there was a ![email protected] , there was no community for less-graphic questions regarding being gay. I'd like this community to still be able to discuss sex-based questions, but trying to keep it as SFW as possible. If you seem to not be able to ask a question without being overtly graphic, head over to the other community up above!

I loved the subreddits before the API changes, and would love to bring over a loving and nurturing community here!