Asking here because I didn't want to bother with an ask Lemmy community. I am a cis man asking other men for advice so that is through line.

I made a presentation for my research on growing azolla filiculoides (im still working on a white paper that I intend to publish) and it was a success in that people liked it. Highlight was people trying the free sample of boiled azolla and basically interrupting my presentation to try it, no one took home live samples.

So now I'm thinking of doing more presentations to fill the end of meetings, as a finisher.

I have idea to set a precedent that of getting other members to speak and share their ideas and what they're doing or just do a show and tell.

I do have potential topics:

1. Everything is a resource. How to see things in what they can do and how to use ideas already existing
2. How to take down a maritime empire. Litterally and metaphor for taking down large established institutions.
3. How to maximize your odds of survival in a zombie apocalypse. Just me expressing my flavor of autism
4. There's no Geneva convention in biology. Explanation for how organism deals with cruelty of nature and how life persists despite cruelty through in what I believe to be the meaning of life

My presentation should be 20 minutes at most I guess I could do parts if I have too.

Is there topics I should talk about or if I should do one of these topics sooner than the rest, or just any public presentation advice.

Should I use power points.

Yesterday I went to a pick-your-own raspberries place, and picked a kilo och raspberries in two hours of slow podcast bliss, and today I made jam!

Here is the haul of yesterday:

Here is the finnished jam:

It is probably one of the most natural jams you can find, in these jars you will only find Swedish raspberries, Swedish sugar and a tiny amount of Ukrainian vodka (SLAVA UKRAINI).

The vodka was used to rinse and sterilize the jars and lids.

As a 38 years old IT guy I find that there are few men who likes making jam, so I thought I'd ask here of anyone else are making jam....

I hear, not all but alot of men claim they are the more logical of the sexes but if that’s the case why consistantly do illogical things? - like not hold each other accountable when blatantly trying to intimidate, oppress and assualt woman/children? For a progressive and healthy world isn’t that counter-intuitive when you help the division within the community instead of working together and going after the real enemy? Elites/mega corporations/corrupt government etc? Also do y'all know that some of you or ur friends/family are being groomed by other men in power?

i’m exhausted man.

tired of getting told i’m the problem with no explanation

i’ve been having trouble with my bestfriend .

We’re both guys, and he’s a bit homophobic (like won’t even sit in the same bed as a guy because it’s “gay” homophobic) which is why i’m having a hard time processing this. (Only when he got a girlfriend was he semi-okay with sitting on a bed with me. His direct quote “it’s still pretty gay but i have a girlfriend now so i’ll allow it)

I do want to say that I am a big advocate for male friends to show eachother physical affection, and i’m no stranger to that at all.

We’ve had an extremely deep emotional bond. He was my very bestfriend in the world and I his. One night I had a mental breakdown of sorts, and his way of calming me down was repeatedly rubbing my back, pulling me down to cuddle (with him in his back and me on top of him with my head on his chest. which i rejected after a few seconds of shock) lots of hugging and pressing his fingers into the of my arms back of my arms repeatedly.

A few days before this I was having a hard time in school (which was the reason for the mental breakdown) and left our hangout early. he asked what was wrong and then proceeded to ask if i was into him to which i said no, and he responded that he was just joking to lighten the mood. Later on his reasoning was that he didn’t mean it, but he knew i had a hard time saying things important (which is true) so he was just guessing

Now usually I wouldn’t think twice about this. but it was around the same time that i found out that he sexts men online regularly and watches gay porn regularly. He admitted shame, depression and disappointment overt this. If a girl did this to me i’d most definitely take it as a sign, but I also was having a bit of a breakdown, so i’m not sure how to look at this? i’m genuinely lost and confused and more hurt than i like to admit.

(after the night he distanced from me and blamed it on my breakdown) :/ right after my breakdown he went to pursue a girl romantically who had a crush on him for a long time, but he had always refused to date her one of the reasons being her body proportions are off (among 20 other reasons he said some pretty gross things about her.)

i talked to him yesterday. Where he looked me in the eyes told me he isn’t gay and isn’t into me and that he loves his girlfriend. and no had no solid answer as to why he broke our friendship off. Just “i’m a horrible friend to you i’m so sorry”.

We got to talking a little less serious in between the serious conversations and i mentioned that im leaving for a week driving 11 hours to go see all my family. (sometimes i get bad anxiety driving home which is a 3 hour drive he’s offered multiple times to drive me home too. declined all of those)He asked me to my face if i wanted him to drive me there. He was being dead serious.

I don’t know what he wants from me and i’m exhausted.

At the end got Told it’s too much to hangout with me and made a bunch of other accusations and reasons

I'm thinking about getting a masturbator for the time after my wife has given birth. But I have no idea where to even start. Anyone here using one, and can share some experiences?

I am searching for something that:

• is easy to clean,
• can fit my whole dick such that I can fuck it like a vagina, and
• maybe has some extras like vibration or suction or so.

Edit: Thanks everyone for the tips! I ended up buying this.

It's expensive, but I'm very satisfied!

The only way I'll ever have children is through adoption but it seems most guys want biological children.

Most of the guys I met would say that they fear that they wouldn't see an adopted child as theirs which honestly breaks my heart a little.

I did some research and apparently most adoptive parents generally chose that option because the man is infertile, not the other way around.

So it would seem like most men are only contemplating adoption if they're infertile themselves but if their partner is they'll prefer to just get a different girlfriend over adopting kids.

Let me know if you think this is not the case, I want to believe you.

40, cis, never been sexually active.

I feel like I'm crazy for even asking this. When I try to google for anything about anxiety from not masturbating, all I get are a) results about anxiety/guilt from masturbating, b) articles about how women shouldn't feel inhibited from masturbation (which is great, mind you, but not what I'm looking for), c) things about social/relationship things with regard to masturbation, d) alt-right #nofap propaganda, and e) just stuff that seems completely irrelevant to what I'm talking about. I just generally haven't had any luck finding any similar experiences or information about anything remotely like this online.

But I feel like I've been caught in a vicious cycle for a while now. I randomly skip a day or two, feel demotivated, and end up not masturbating for a week or more just because I'm so depressed and anxious and completely not in any sort of mood to do so. A part of me has thought that maybe it's just natural that at 40 my sex drive should be lower, but every time I start masturbating daily again, my mood improves until the next time I skip for a day or two and the doldrums take hold.

I don't think this is any kind of OCD thing where I'm making myself anxious by obsessing that I'm not horny or that I'm not masturbating either.

This isn't new, really. I've known for many years that I get depressed if I don't masturbate. But it's much more pronounced now than it used to be by a long shot.

Another thing I wonder is whether this might be an indicator of low T. I've heard some sources say (though they're mostly drowned out by the cacophony of bro-science #nofap bullshit to the contrary) that masturbation does boost testosterone, at least acutely. Maybe (lots of speculation here, but) masturbating regularly keeps my baseline testosterone levels closer to normal than not masturbating does and if I don't masturbate for a while, my testosterone levels dip lower for longer periods, worsening symptoms. And if that's the issue, maybe TRT would be warranted. (IANAD. Can you tell?)

It's just really weird how the whole internet doesn't seem to know that's a thing that can be, but it's a major part of my day-to-day experience.

Is this anything that anyone here can relate to or give any insight into at all?

Sorry for the super odd question - I started wondering when writing from a male character's perspective - but yeah, does it feel different to have tears running down your face with a beard vs. without? What happens to tears when they reach your beard? Do they hang on to the first few hair they touch, or do they run through the beard?

https://old.reddit.com/r/TikTokCringe/comments/1o1juf3/how_would_you_react_if_you_were_in_this_situation/nihgrgs/

That thread on that post surprised me.

How many CIS men here use testosterone for gender affirming care ?

cross-posted from: https://reddthat.com/post/46807163

Since this post posted in /c/womensstuff, a community that prohibits male participation, showed up on the front page of All I'm cross-posting it to a space where men can chime in and answer/discuss it freely.

So before anything I'm a trans woman (20), I do not claim to be a real woman or try to put women down or mock them. So please I'd like to ask you to abstein from comments about it because I already know what I am.

I've been trying dating apps because they feel safer than just dating people from your daily life when I was a teen (friends and classmates).

I do have a note on my profile that notifies these men about what I am before they can chat with me, some unmatch, others will say bad stuff before leaving, but another big amount stay. Everything goes fine we chat for a long time, we have a few dates, but in the end they all seem to lose interest at some point.

It just makes me so tired of meeting a lot of different men every month. I don't understand what they want.

I’m a 21-year-old from a lower-middle-class family, and ever since I finished my intermediate studies from a College (Pakistan) in 2023, I’ve carried a dream in my heart: to walk the leafy quad of a reputable university, to laugh with new friends in the cafeteria, to stay up late talking about life—and to build a future on my own terms. This wasn’t just my dream; it was my mom’s too. I carry her hopes with me every time I sit down to study.

But life had other plans. In 2023, when fees and expenses loomed larger than our savings, my family couldn’t afford to send me on that path. So I put my dream on hold and took a job instead. I started at ₨35,000 per month—and over the last year, through long nights and early mornings, I’ve fought my way up to ₨60,000. I work 8 PM–5 AM, head straight to the gym at 6 AM to clear my head, grab a quick bite, and try to catch 2–3 hours of sleep before doing it all again.

Now, at last, I feel ready to leap—and I want to enroll full-time. But the schedule I’m looking at scares me:

Work: 8 PM–5 AM, five nights a week

Gym: 6 AM–7 AM, for my physical and mental health

University: 8 PM–2 AM lectures, 30–40 km from home, four days a week

Sleep: Only about 2–3 hours a day

Commitment: This marathon would run for the next four years

I know the risks all too well: no safety net if I lose my job, the constant strain on my body and mind, the loneliness that comes with an upside-down schedule. And yet, every time I imagine my mom’s proud smile at my convocation, or the sense of belonging I’d feel on campus, I know I have to try.

My questions for you:

Sustainability: Can a nightly grind, early-morning workouts, and full-time studies truly work over four years—without burning out?

Strategies: What practical tips can help me juggle time, health, and finances? Are there ways to carve out rest, build an emergency fund, or streamline my commute?

Shared Journeys: Has anyone else lived this upside-down life—nights at work and days in class? How did you keep going, and what would you change if you could?

I pour these words out with hope—and with fear. But more than anything, I carry determination: to honor my mom’s dreams, to prove to myself that I am capable of more, and to finally step into the world of campus life I’ve always imagined. Any advice, shared stories, or even just a few words of encouragement would mean the world to me. Thank you for listening.

How do you even deal with this, it's like competing for everything, job, dating basic necessities etc. You slip for a moment and you will be replaced.

So I’m looking for a new set of beard/other clippers as my current one finally fell apart after almost 20 years. I’m looking for a professional, corded one that you can put different size guards on. So Lemmy Men, what are you using?

I have heard people say "would you rather share your emotions with a woman you know or a tree in the woods", but that doesn't really feel like it's an equal question in my head. I am curious if anyone has a better example of the "mens" version of that question.

Just wondering if the average man really does struggle, even if they're fit

I need a male perspective on this.

My husband and I have a healthy sex life, but lately, I’ve been working a lot of grueling night shifts as a pediatric nurse. We’ve committed to helping his sister with her treatment costs, so I’ve been taking on more shifts to contribute.

On Monday, I worked an 8-hour shift that ended at 6 AM. I got home around 6:30, and I’ll admit I wasn’t the quietest since I had to grab my pajamas from outside. I accidentally woke him up, apologized, and got into bed. He was a little annoyed but started initiating. I told him—gently—that I was exhausted, especially since I had just lost an inpatient. But he was clearly frustrated, and he had to be up for work in two hours, so I ended up going along with it.

We talked the next day, and he admitted he’s been feeling frustrated with how often I’ve been turning him down. We used to have sex daily or close to it, but now it’s around four times a week since my schedule changed. He told me that “marital duties” aren’t something you can just neglect based on how you feel in the moment and asked how I would react if he just stopped paying the mortgage because he was “too tired.” (For context, I cover about 45% of it, so it’s not like I’m not contributing financially.)

I get where he’s coming from—he has a high libido, and I know intimacy is important. But I didn’t think saying no when I’m sleep-deprived and emotionally drained was unreasonable. That being said, I’ve seen a lot of men on r/deadbedrooms frustrated with the “I’m tired” excuse, so I’m wondering—do most guys feel this way? Even if a change in circumstances is temporary, does a wife have an obligation to always meet her husband’s needs? What’s actually a “good” reason to say no?

Would really appreciate some honest opinions.