On the other hand, he didn't get two of his limbs chopped off and end up thrown into a pit of lava a short time later, requiring him to spend the rest of his life in an armored suit. So maybe the incest was worth it?
That just activated a long supressed and forgotten part of gaming history. At one point in Final Fantasy XI, you could get a really powerful sword from a dragon. Someone once asked "Would you fuck your sister for a Ridill". Not everyone said no... I might be getting the phrasing of the question wrong since it was 10+ years ago. I tried googling but nothing came up.
I could be wrong, but I read someone else’s comment years ago that said the suit was like that on purpose and it was a way for the emperor to control him or something.
Anyway, that might not even be canon even if it’s in some book or game.
It's canon. The suit was purposefully made in a very flawed way, so that Vader would have a difficult time winning a battle against Sidious. Even in his crippled state, Vader was a major threat. Also, it's not entirely clear why it happens in-universe, but Vader's burnt body was supposed to heal over time, yet it never did - not until Luke brought back a spark of goodness in his heart.
The Death Star was huge, I'm sure people fucked and made babies on it. I doubt they would just let people leave the Death Star to go raise their kids. That either means kids were just ejected into space, or they were raised on the Death Star.
Given Darth Vader's history with children, it's not unlikely that he just said "fuck them kids" and had them yeeted, but it's funnier to imagine a Death Star Day Care, so imma go with that as my head canon.
Edit: you guys are coming up with some valid counterpoints, but my head canon is still funnier, so I'm sticking with it.
You can bet genetic engineering has reached a level where you can sterilize your whole army without a concern.
So soldiers fucking like rabbits ? Maybe. All genders ? Maybe, we have no idea whether there were women onboard. BUt did they get pregnant ? Why bother ?
Guys can we please not make comparisons like this? Everybody is on their own life journey at their own pace. Anakin was taken in to be the apprentice of a great Jedi master when he was but a wee lad, luke had no opportunities beyond farming dirt and constructing additional pylons with his aunt and uncle well into adulthood.
These types of comparisons are unfair and unhealthy and promote unrealistic expectations on young impressionable minds.
My father was a piece of shit when he was 22 and he's still a piece of shit. I'm a piece of shit, but not nearly the piece of shit that he is. That makes me better than him. I like these comparisons.
I don’t think so. The Death Star was a military vessel, and spouses/children don’t usually don’t get to come along on those sorts of things. Having said that, maybe there would be some children on if there was some sort of christening celebration or school field trip on board at the time of the attack.
No /s necessary, you live in something called The Death Star, a weapon fresh from killing a planet, and you're officially the eggs in the anti-evil omelette.
It's an installation - a miltary base. Guarantee the workers had family spaces / on base housing in it. Considering the size of it, whole cities worth of people.
Is it an installation or a ship? Couldn’t it move around the galaxy to attack different planets? If so, I think it’s more of a ship than a base. Only analog I can think of in our world would be aircraft carriers or battleships, which are commonly referred to as floating cities, yet they don’t have children or spouses living on board.
Only analog I can think of in our world would be aircraft carriers or battleships, which are commonly referred to as floating cities, yet they don’t have children or spouses living on board.
From what I've heard, one of the darker secrets though is tbat there is sex and sometimes childbirth that goes on.
Not something the Navy usually likes to talk about.
Why wouldn't you include mental character as part of your performance? It matters quite a lot in competitive sports, but what do i know I didn't watch star wars
You've just signaled you don't understand Star Wars' plot, prepare for a deluge of explanations.
In short, Anakin was emotionally unstable during his battle against Obi-Wan. Under normal circumstances, he'd wipe the floor with his master. In the making of accounts and Star War History books, both George Lucas and Nick Gillard (choreographer for all fights before Disneyfication) confirm that Anakin was an equal to Yoda and Sidious at the end of RotS, far surpassing Mace Windu and Obi-Wan Kenobi.
As a fun aside, in the animated series The Clone Wars, we get a glimpse at Anakin's full potential - the ability to control all of the force at once, even swapping day for night on a whim.
Mace windu was actually strong as fuck though. Like he genuinely bested sidious in saber combat. It wasn’t an act.
The advantage of Vaapad, using Sidious own dark side powers against him.
I read once that obi wan and anakin were so used to sparring together that the difference in power didn’t matter.
It certainly did matter, as seen in their final (RotS) duel; Obi-Wan is on his back foot, running the entire time. It's true that they had sparred so much, they could predict each other's movements as if it was telepathy, though.
Anakin was emotionally unstable during his battle against Obi-Wan
Surely being emotionally unstable is a major sign of a bad Jedi. Obi-wan had as much reason to be emotionally unstable but maintained control and won the day, thus is the stronger Jedi.
That doesn't follow at all. At that point Anakin had already abandoned the Jedi Order, he was just learning how to tap into the Dark Side, and even then Obi-Wan was kept on his back foot for the entire time, until Anakin decided that killing his master with a move created by him was a good idea.
Yeah they mean his power comes mostly from anger and anger is a dark side power so not a Jedi. He could have been the most powerful grey Jedi of all time but he will not ever be the most powerful light Jedi.
Not to mention being so easily manipulated into turning and then immediately diving in to his new role to the point of killing younglings and force choking his wife. He was very weak mentally and incredibly immature. He was powerful but wasn't a master for a very good reason.
I had a friend that "trained" french kissing on her brother. She told me this when we were +25 like it was super nornal and one of the pluses of having a brother (he was 1 year young only, so he wasn't being abused. They were just like this)
Anakin - supreme commander of all Empire forces, feared across the galaxy. Can do any crime with no repercussion, except treason.
Luke - Stranded on a swamp.
The "General" part doesn't really count since all Jedi were automatically commissioned with high ranks during the war. Ahsoka was a Commander at 16, leading troops into battle while still a padawan.
Luke at 23 - Jedi Master
Anakin at 23 - Not a Jedi Master
Sith lord, jedi master, tomayto, tomawto
Apprentice* Sith Lord
Assistant to the Sith Lord.
And he has his own secret Assistant to the assistant to the Sith Lord
As is tradition
If they were to bring Starkiller into modern Star Wars I would be so happy.
the only character I wanna see in Star Wars, is Darth Schrute
The Sith Lord's
rightleft hand.On the other hand, he didn't get two of his limbs chopped off and end up thrown into a pit of lava a short time later, requiring him to spend the rest of his life in an armored suit. So maybe the incest was worth it?
-FlyingSquid, 2023
Look at Darth Vader. I stand by my statement.
That just activated a long supressed and forgotten part of gaming history. At one point in Final Fantasy XI, you could get a really powerful sword from a dragon. Someone once asked "Would you fuck your sister for a Ridill". Not everyone said no... I might be getting the phrasing of the question wrong since it was 10+ years ago. I tried googling but nothing came up.
If porn is any gage, a lot would fuck their sister for free.
I could be wrong, but I read someone else’s comment years ago that said the suit was like that on purpose and it was a way for the emperor to control him or something.
Anyway, that might not even be canon even if it’s in some book or game.
It's canon. The suit was purposefully made in a very flawed way, so that Vader would have a difficult time winning a battle against Sidious. Even in his crippled state, Vader was a major threat. Also, it's not entirely clear why it happens in-universe, but Vader's burnt body was supposed to heal over time, yet it never did - not until Luke brought back a spark of goodness in his heart.
Number of younglings slain:
Luke - 0
Anakin - Numerous
Are we absolutely sure there were no kids on the deathstar?
The Death Star was huge, I'm sure people fucked and made babies on it. I doubt they would just let people leave the Death Star to go raise their kids. That either means kids were just ejected into space, or they were raised on the Death Star.
Given Darth Vader's history with children, it's not unlikely that he just said "fuck them kids" and had them yeeted, but it's funnier to imagine a Death Star Day Care, so imma go with that as my head canon.
Edit: you guys are coming up with some valid counterpoints, but my head canon is still funnier, so I'm sticking with it.
I was in a band called Death Star Daycare. We mostly did Nina Hagen covers.
That's, actually, not bad, at all.
Although I'm sure the Disney attorneys would probably have some issues with that name, potentially.
Yeah but Luke sorted a lot of that out, oh wait.
You can bet genetic engineering has reached a level where you can sterilize your whole army without a concern.
So soldiers fucking like rabbits ? Maybe. All genders ? Maybe, we have no idea whether there were women onboard. BUt did they get pregnant ? Why bother ?
Ok, so how many underdeveloped soldiers in test tubes were on that thing?
That's a good point.
"Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What are we going to do?"
"We're gonna SIIING!"
Luke at 22: Jedi Master
Anakin at 22: ...
Bet Anakin had power converters, though.
Luke at 22: Blew up the Death Star
Kinda big thing to not include
I think he was 19 when he blew up the Death Star. 22 when he kissed Leia in ESB which I believe takes place 2 years after A New Hope.
20,21…22
Erm
It's not lol
But I did look it up and ESB takes place in 3ABY which is 3 years after A New Hope.
Still possible. Not like either of the movies happened on his birthday so he could’ve been almost 20 and ESB occurred just over 2 years after.
Guys can we please not make comparisons like this? Everybody is on their own life journey at their own pace. Anakin was taken in to be the apprentice of a great Jedi master when he was but a wee lad, luke had no opportunities beyond farming dirt and constructing additional pylons with his aunt and uncle well into adulthood.
These types of comparisons are unfair and unhealthy and promote unrealistic expectations on young impressionable minds.
I asked Luke Skywalker and he said he is okay with this meme. Oddly, I couldn't get in touch with his father.
My father was a piece of shit when he was 22 and he's still a piece of shit. I'm a piece of shit, but not nearly the piece of shit that he is. That makes me better than him. I like these comparisons.
Tbf, they both made out with a princess, and while Anakin mostly farmed bots for exp Luke's actual KDA was amazing.
Did the death star have a daycare? If so, he got anakin beat on younglings slaughtered too.
I don’t think so. The Death Star was a military vessel, and spouses/children don’t usually don’t get to come along on those sorts of things. Having said that, maybe there would be some children on if there was some sort of christening celebration or school field trip on board at the time of the attack.
No, it's canon there were families on board. It was simply too large to be anything but a city in space.
Yeah but they were evil so it doesn't count /s
No /s necessary, you live in something called The Death Star, a weapon fresh from killing a planet, and you're officially the eggs in the anti-evil omelette.
Not sure they even called it The Death Star, just Military Artificial Satellite Spaceship
Of course, the first working one was the 4th itteration of prototypes. So that makes it MASSIV (Military Artificial Satellite Spaceship IV)
I would have went with BABSS, big assed ball shaped spaceship/station.
You mean the Imperial Planetary Ore Extractor?
Thanks, now I'm hungry!
Cannon from where?
Best Buy. I'd go with a Brother instead if I was you, though. Won't try to fuck you over anywhere near as much.
If I had the guess, one of the novels.
It's an installation - a miltary base. Guarantee the workers had family spaces / on base housing in it. Considering the size of it, whole cities worth of people.
Bode from Jedi Survivor keeps his kid at an ISB base so it's not outside the realm of reason.
Is it an installation or a ship? Couldn’t it move around the galaxy to attack different planets? If so, I think it’s more of a ship than a base. Only analog I can think of in our world would be aircraft carriers or battleships, which are commonly referred to as floating cities, yet they don’t have children or spouses living on board.
From what I've heard, one of the darker secrets though is tbat there is sex and sometimes childbirth that goes on.
Not something the Navy usually likes to talk about.
Yeah, I’m sure that’s happened way more than they’d like to admit.
... Hundreds
(But not filled yet)
Anakin lost to Obi Wan so I'm not sure how you can consider him the strongest Jedi.
He lost because he was arrogant, not because he was weak. That's the entire point of the "it's over Anakin, I have the high ground" thing.
Arrogance should be part of the power calculation though.
Why wouldn't you include mental character as part of your performance? It matters quite a lot in competitive sports, but what do i know I didn't watch star wars
Even the strongest Jedi is no match for the High Ground.
You've just signaled you don't understand Star Wars' plot, prepare for a deluge of explanations.
In short, Anakin was emotionally unstable during his battle against Obi-Wan. Under normal circumstances, he'd wipe the floor with his master. In the making of accounts and Star War History books, both George Lucas and Nick Gillard (choreographer for all fights before Disneyfication) confirm that Anakin was an equal to Yoda and Sidious at the end of RotS, far surpassing Mace Windu and Obi-Wan Kenobi.
As a fun aside, in the animated series The Clone Wars, we get a glimpse at Anakin's full potential - the ability to control all of the force at once, even swapping day for night on a whim.
Mace windu was actually strong as fuck though. Like he genuinely bested sidious in saber combat. It wasn’t an act.
Also, I read once that obi wan and anakin were so used to sparring together that the difference in power didn’t matter.
The advantage of Vaapad, using Sidious own dark side powers against him.
It certainly did matter, as seen in their final (RotS) duel; Obi-Wan is on his back foot, running the entire time. It's true that they had sparred so much, they could predict each other's movements as if it was telepathy, though.
Surely being emotionally unstable is a major sign of a bad Jedi. Obi-wan had as much reason to be emotionally unstable but maintained control and won the day, thus is the stronger Jedi.
That doesn't follow at all. At that point Anakin had already abandoned the Jedi Order, he was just learning how to tap into the Dark Side, and even then Obi-Wan was kept on his back foot for the entire time, until Anakin decided that killing his master with a move created by him was a good idea.
Yeah they mean his power comes mostly from anger and anger is a dark side power so not a Jedi. He could have been the most powerful grey Jedi of all time but he will not ever be the most powerful light Jedi.
Not to mention being so easily manipulated into turning and then immediately diving in to his new role to the point of killing younglings and force choking his wife. He was very weak mentally and incredibly immature. He was powerful but wasn't a master for a very good reason.
When Anakin lost to Obi-Wan hadn't he already descended into Darth Vader?
He destroyed the Death Star and rescued a princess. Those seem notable.
I had a friend that "trained" french kissing on her brother. She told me this when we were +25 like it was super nornal and one of the pluses of having a brother (he was 1 year young only, so he wasn't being abused. They were just like this)
These are the dangers of exposing kids to Star Wars too early.
Me at 22:
You're more than enough.
I love you guys 🥹
aww you're so sweet thx
Be the sister fucker you want to see in the world. Don't let your memes be dreams.
thank you, I will go look for a sister then
I mean, compare them at 23 next.
Anakin - supreme commander of all Empire forces, feared across the galaxy. Can do any crime with no repercussion, except treason.
Luke - Stranded on a swamp.
Kills a Muppet with cringe questions
24?
This.
Kids - listen to me. There's only ONE star wars movie. The rest are fan-made films that are fun but meaningless. Don't get confused.
The Star Wars Holiday Special with the Ewoks?
That's an odd way to spell Space Balls..
the clone wars movie?
Caravan Of Courage?
The Phantom Menace?
Anakin at 22 will be a father in the future.
lol
"Future father" is the glass half-full version of "former child".
I suppose "expecting father" is probably the more accurate phrase
Ahem, he was also bulls-eyeing womp rats in his T-16.
The "General" part doesn't really count since all Jedi were automatically commissioned with high ranks during the war. Ahsoka was a Commander at 16, leading troops into battle while still a padawan.
What matters is how it's going to look on the résumé, not why you got the position 🌚
To be fair, "Padawan to the literal chosen embodiment of the force" seems like it'd provide better benefits than a regular Padawan.
🎶 Sweet home Alderaan 🎶