Spyke
startrek.website

Imagine you're shopping and you pull out a towel from the rack and there is just a whole stoner back behind there chilling. /shudders

71
lemm.ee

Hey, I found a stoner tucked away in the men's jeans in Wal-Mart, 50% off.

Decided to take him home, and it's been a great decision! He takes care of the couch, he's always down to play some Smash, he'll even let me win.

All it cost me was watching one Pauly Shore movie a week. Tomorrow's Encino Man!

35
kbin.social

"for as little as one Polly shore movie a week, you too can adopt a poor lost stoner" 😂

14
lemm.ee

I think I'd be more concerned if it was only part of a stoner.

24
kia
lemmy.ca

3000 is just counting the people they found.

60
Dettweilerreply
lemmy.world

I've noticed a lot of media outlets like to add a zero here and there when reporting.
A mix of 300 people could fill the IKEA parking lot. 3000 is an entire cruise ship.

38
Dozzi92reply
lemmy.world

You piqued my interest so I went to look it up. Average Ikea is 300k sf. So obviously omitting the fact that there are areas of the store that are off limits (although are you following those rules when you're playing hide and seek?), as well as there being furniture everywhere, that's 100 square feet per person, which I think is doable. Especially considering, if I'm playing hide and seek at IKEA, I'm hiding in the furniture.

18

”if I’m playing hide and seek at IKEA, I’m hiding in the furniture”

You just showed your best hand. I can’t protect you now.

15
dan1101reply
lemm.ee

That would be a 10x10 foot square for each person, that building would be pretty crowded once you take the shelves and merchandise into account.

9
squibletreply
kbin.social

I wonder what the fire department's max occupancy is?

1
Dozzi92reply
lemmy.world

So occupancy is, firstly, based off classification. An IKEA would presumably be M under the UCC (Uniform Construction Code). Capacity is determined using the amount of exits and distance to those exits. You can have a million square foot building, but if there's only one door, you're going to be limited to 50 peoples. That'll obviously never happen, but just an example.

Mercantile can range from as few as 30sf per person to as many as 300 sf per person. Assuming this Ikea is on ground level, has a bunch of doors, I think you can safely use 60sf per person (10x6 area), which would allow for about a bajillion people in a 300k square foot IKEA.

That load is kind of in the middle. There are uses that require greater separation distances, like hospitals and other institutional uses, and then some that require less. I threw out 100sf per person, because 10x10 is honestly a bunch of room for your average person. I think you could reasonably do some cartwheels in a 10x10, and to me the cartwheel is a great demonstration of personal space. If you can cartwheel, you're good to go. What more do you want?

2

Interesting, thanks. Much of it is warehouse space that isn't open to customers, though. Not sure what proportion the shopping floor would be - 2/3? Plus the products on the showfloors take up a great deal of room.

1
lemmy.world

Probably not more than 150 or 200, but their building isn't important, right now.

2
squibletreply
kbin.social

Ha, yes. Okay, to be properly specific, the occupancy limit the fire department set for that Ikea building.

3
squibletreply
kbin.social

To how many people can reasonably fit inside Ikea without being disruptive?

8
Chaisreply
sh.itjust.works

Fair. But I'm not sure 3000 reaches that limit. Just sounded like you meant to playing hide and seek.

0
lemmy.world

I mean it would be pretty bad for the staff and the customers who just want to buy shit

44
lemmy.world

Might be decent exposure for the store though. It's pretty easy to see stuff at IKEA and be like yeah, I have been meaning to pick up a new wobbly stool. Better grab some weird candy too.

6
Nepenthereply
kbin.social

Which is an argument for management not to complain. The staff can still complain. Thousands of meme-y randos fucking up the store, deliberately getting underfoot at my job for a joke, and the proposed reward for that is maybe it will attract more people? To disregard the likelihood of another rendition of the same stunt, if it's well-received.

Gonna be blunt. My best days were the ones without customers in them, and I don't get paid more if there are.

14

Anyone who's worked retail knows this is truth. Although working a double when the mall was dead was pretty bad too

Actually just fuck retail jobs

1

If they were moving parts between shelves, there's a good chance someone bought an IKEA product that actually has everything included!

4
ludreply

Lol.

A slightly fun fact is that apparently you can't buy multi-packaged furniture without picking every package up since the point of sale terminal will refuse to complete the purchase if you don't scan all the packages of a product. Pretty smart actually. I haven't tested this myself so it might be wrong.

3
sh.itjust.works

Why aren't there paid services for hide and seek? Like a bunch if furniture, walls, shelves and what not and put it in a big warehouse. Have people pay to participate and play whatever games they want in there. You can have massive organized events and everything. Imagine massive game of manhunt in there with electronic devices to show who's it.

16

Basically just another idea that fits into existing game zones places.

3
lemm.ee

That actually sounds dope, especially if you have theme games where a professional seeker plays being a serial killer in a slasher flick or stuff like that

3

I've played hide and seek every single time I have been in an IKEA. We never got more than 20 people together though.

14
lemmy.world

How can 3,000 people possibly be hiding in there?

odds are you're going to see someone.

And how do you distinguish hide and seek participants with casual unwitting shoppers?

9

Unwitting shoppers are going to be doing some seeking, whether they mean to or not.

Open a closet, look under a bed - there's gonna be someone there.

1
lemmy.world

All you need now is to lock the doors, turn off the lights, and tell everyone that the story is closing.

8
dyc3reply
lemmy.world

Get those white stretchy suits and pretend it's scp 3008

5

Just have fun on the Internet by shitposting where nobody who knows you in real life would actually look.

4
lemmy.world

"Cops"

MTFs understand that it's part of the job. But they still hate being called cops.

3
lemmy.world

Sounds annoying af for ikea employees. Fun at others expense is not fun.

2
dyc3reply
lemmy.world

If I was employed at that IKEA I would be participating

4

Image Transcription: Twitter Post and Replies


New York Post, @nypost

Cops shut down massive 3,000-person game of hide-and-seek at Ikea trib.al/bXJG1gr

[An image of the yellow IKEA logotype on a blue building.]

[Redacted]

There's no fun allowed on this planet on God I hate it here

1