Spyke

What's fucked up about chaining up a corpse. Of course it doesn't help anything but there is also no harm in it.

2

Someone once asked me if I’d like some glacier-covered land in Alaska. I said “no, but I would like some non-glacier-covered land in Alaska later, so yeah”

0
laverabereply
lemmy.world

Good day Sir. I have excellent merchandise to sell for you. My anti-tiger rock is guaranteed to keep all your tigers away! Please send money to this address! THANK YOU

16

thank you, but my current anti-tiger rock fulfills my present needs, and has the bonus of keeping other large members of the order felidae at a comfortable distance, too.

11

Then you require my tiger summoning slab of raw meat. If you combine that with the magic rock you will create a perpetual motion machine

2
Igloojoereply
lemm.ee

But now it is released... 2024 - vampires...

6
XTornadoreply
lemmy.ml

Idk we have barely started the aliens arc.

2
kamenladyreply
lemmy.world

It's all gonna come all at once, vampires, aliens, fungi, zombies, trump...

2

The remains date from an era that viewed ghosts, zombies and other supernatural entities as being as real as humans.

I am so glad that 95% of the human race no longer believes in the supernatural and never supports organized religion.

Tiring day, can't wait to get home and watch shows that are educational that totally don't speculate about ancient aliens or hunt ghosts.

45
sockreply
lemmy.world

its probably a hiding vampire bat waiting to release covid-20

6

Wouldn't it be COVID-23 now? Or does the bat go back in time and release another deadly virus during 2020? Oh god...

5
lemm.ee

Humans believing in fantasy beings to the point of murder...how dumb...

...wait a minute...

11
THJrreply
ttrpg.network

From what I can tell in the article the kid wasn't murdered? Or did I miss something

6
midwest.social

Yeah, it just sounds like the kid died and this was a burial rite precaution.

I think the person above you just read the headline and made an assumption.

4
lemm.ee

“Look it might be a waste of a lock, but I don’t want some vampire kid killing me. Don’t let your last words be, ‘I should have listened to Jeeeeeeff!’”

9
lemmings.world

This is the best summary I could come up with:


A 17th-century child's remains were found padlocked to a grave in Poland - an act that is thought to be been to stop him rising from the dead.

Archaeologists uncovered the body of a six- to seven-year-old buried facedown with a triangular iron padlock under its foot.

It is believed the body, found in the northern village of Pien, was buried facedown and padlocked to the grave because of ancient supernatural beliefs in vampires.

The find was reported to have come from the same site as a year ago it was announced the remains of a woman had been discovered with a sickle around her neck and a triangular padlock on her foot.

The child was likely buried facedown to keep it from sitting up and exiting the grave to feed on living people, he added.

The child's bones date from an era that viewed ghosts, zombies and other supernatural entities as being as real as humans.


The original article contains 348 words, the summary contains 157 words. Saved 55%. I'm a bot and I'm open source!

6

I’m just imagining a vampire waking, then sticking its butt up in the air in an attempt to sit up. Then cartooning question marks coming out in its confusion

2
kbin.social

He didn't rise from the dead, did he? We have no way of knowing how many times he tried.

4
lemm.ee

It could be fun to have a corpse accidentally buried with an iphone then someone recovers the iphone and it’s listing steps from the corpse trying to rise

0

I want to be buried in a staged scene with a broken coffin lid and posed as if I'm clambering up through the dirt.

1

The headline is somewhat ambiguous, and seems to imply that the child was chained there to prevent a vampire buried below from rising. Knowing the child was the supposed vampire makes this a little less grim, because I was picturing some poor kid with his leg shackled to a headstone and left to die.

1

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