ctheonion·The Onionbycan Cruelty-free Haunted House Only Features Ghosts Who Died of Natural Causeshttps://www.thebeaverton.com/2023/10/cruelty-free-haunted-house-only-features-ghosts-who-died-of-natural-causes/Open linkView original on sh.itjust.works177Comments9Reply
snowe programming.dev3Hide 3 replies “It was scary to see writing appear out of thin air on the bathroom mirror at midnight, but then I realised it said ‘MONITOR YOUR CHOLESTEROL,’ and I honestly appreciated the reminder,” said one customer. I’m dying38Reply
FoundTheVegan kbin.social2Hide 2 repliesWhen I die I'm just going to haunt a N64. Plug it in at your own peril and watch in horror as I select Oddjob with a golden gun.12Reply
ccan replysh.itjust.works1Hide 1 replyThe sidebar lists multiple satire sources that aren't the Onion so I figured it would be fine.13Reply
9 replies
I’m dying
Should've monitored your cholesterol better.
Sounds like you should have checked your Cholesterol sooner.
When I die I'm just going to haunt a N64. Plug it in at your own peril and watch in horror as I select Oddjob with a golden gun.
an N64
An En Sixty-four
Beaverton is not the onion
The sidebar lists multiple satire sources that aren't the Onion so I figured it would be fine.
Narrator: It was fine.