Black bear walks into a gas station bar, takes a pack of gummy bears and leaves
cross-posted from: https://lemmy.ca/post/7071122
cross-posted from: https://kbin.social/m/[email protected]/t/533670
The owners of the store at Tipton Gas Bar in Lake Cowichan, B.C., were baffled when a black bear walked in and stole a bag of gummy bears.
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Thought title was a setup to joke. Man crazy. Can it eat gummy bears?
Who's gonna stop it?
The bears digestive track. I went to Alaska for a week a while back and we actually learned about how the local bears eat. Eventually a bear's canines (or whatever teeth they use for meat tearing) will wear down to stubs making it impossible for them to eat meat. When this happens they will start to exclusively eat plant matter. Unfortunately this is also what ends up killing them. A young bear typically eats plant matter to slow down their digestive track for the winter. But in the case of an older bear they eat so much that their digestion literally backs up until it kills them
I thought this was c/dadjokes too
Me too!
Same
This is world news but when I steal a bag of sour patch kids it's just a violation of my parole or w/e
Cannibalism
"world news"
Nothing but this bear theft happened today. It was the only thing of note in the entire world.
Didn't some TV station one broadcast that fuck all happened that day, anywhere?
Cute story until you realize the bear will be euthanized
Haribo has a posse
Didn't "euthanasia" apply to "individuals getting help to fulfill their death wish"? I don't think the bear wants to die, if anything it will get murdered, as in "premeditated taking of a life, against the target's wishes".
You don't take on a pack of wild gummy bears and come out alive. That bear had a death wish, sure as shootin.
How do you know the bear's wishes? Did you ask him?
Suicide by
copvet, you say? That bear needs counseling!No?
"Humanely" implies a reason that isn't just because it behaved not how you wanted it. That's called "sacrificing" or at best "killing", like when you want to eat steak but the cow insists on breathing.
I don't want the bear to die. But that doesn't change that the word doesn't imply consent.
The word literally means "good death", meaning for a good reason. Consent is one such reason, terminal illness is another, stealing gummy bears... is not.
A gas station bar?
Free shooter with 10 gal fill up?