Funnily enough, when I bought a cheap VR headset, ca. 2020, I did try out the usual things like Google Earth, and, of course, at some point got curious about the, uh, adult contents. Who wouldn't? Y'know, just to take a look...
But somehow, it is... much less erotic. People doing it in 3D is somehow much less cool and much more weird than regular old smut. I blame it on being too realistic for fantasy, yet clearly being not realistic enough for the real thing. The uncanny valley of porn.
I imagine a holodeck would be the same, maybe even worse. Just not working.
Maybe a holosuite, but if I'm on a starship, the wonders of the cosmos are definitely getting me outside every once in a while, at least when the crew gets shore leave if I'm not allowed on away missions
By the standards of Next Gen, we're all starving refugees from a horrifying war-torn planet that would need years of therapy to recover from our harrowing ordeal. Giving one of us a holodeck would be the equivalent of giving a concentration camp survivor an all-you-can-eat buffet; it might literally kill us.
I know myself enough to know that I would do it eventually, then I'm also certain that I would feel so awkward afterwards in front of the real person that I wouldn't think to ever try again.
I'm sure the random character generator is more than good enough.
I would end up causing one of the infamous "holodeck malfunction" episodes. Except mine wouldn't be a result of the terrible design of the holodeck's safety systems, but simply my urge to fuck with things.
"Computer, simulate a holodeck with safeties off while keeping the safeties on."
"Computer, use the holodeck to construct an intricate simulation of the entire ship, including the holodeck and ship's computer."
"Computer, disable the safety locks and simulate a warp core breach inside the holodeck."
"Computer, disable safety locks and simulate a world-spanning fire."
"Computer, create a holodeck simulation of a holodeck. Have that simulated holodeck simulating a holodeck. Make that a hundred layers deep."
"Computer, have the holodeck simulate both a holodeck larger than itself and a holodeck smaller then itself. Run both simultaneously."
"Computer, create a simulation of Counselor Troi. Then create a simulation of Lieutenant Barclay pleasuring himself to that simulation. Then create a simulation of Counselor Troi psychologically analyzing the Lieutenant Barclay simulation. Then add another Barklay pleasuring himself to the the second Troy. Then and another Troi. Keeping doing this until the holodeck is full. Once operational and running, send an automated message to the real Counselor Troi and Lieutenant Barclay, in each other's voices, asking each other to come to the holodeck for an urgent matter."
Computer, create a simulation of the holodeck, but add mosquitos to any scene within. Do not indicate to anyone entering that they are in a simulation of the holodeck. Keep the program running while I leave until I say stop.
"Whenever someone starts to say the phrase, "computer end program," generate a matching noise-cancelling sound wave at their lips before they finish saying it."
Well, I think what Barkley did was more like leaving your smutty fan-fic about your coworkers in the break room. It's OK to fantasize, but don't leave a paper trial, and definitely don't leave it where everyone can find it.
So in the Star Trek future, we have holodeck technology that can create practically any scenario a person could imagine, but personal vibrator technology is apparently stuck in the dark ages? I'm a busy bunny, when I need to get my rocks off I want to get that shit over with as quickly and efficiently as possible! I don't want to have to put on a costume and get into specific details with a computer!
But, consider this: you don't need a holodeck for that. When everything is in reach, the previously desirable becomes trivial.
In the same way, putting garlic on your food is nice. Having garlic ready to be spoon-fed to you 24/7 is stupid. The convoluted becomes desirable again.
Hmm.. that’s a tough one, I think it depends if the holodeck I have access to is on a spaceship traveling the universe or not.
If I’m stuck here on earth? Absolutely, gimme, I’ll live in it! I want to be able to see cool things and have pleasant social interactions. I desperately want to like vr for the same reason (not that it’s advanced enough for the socializing part, but not the point) but it makes me sick.
If I was on a space ship, though, especially one like depicted in star trek, totally accepting and encouraging of differences and stuff, where socializing just means wandering around whatever time of day, and talk to whomever you run into, most of the people I’d be around are brilliant, and everyone gets mental health support? Where we regularly explore novel things and new places? What else would there be to need, really? (I’m ace/aro so sex and romance aren’t something I’d be interested in using it for, only platonic companionship and novel exploration environments)
I’d probably use it for exercise, and that’s about it.
Given access to a holodeck, I would have it generate a clamshell-style pod fitted to my body filled with rotating brushes that have bristles firm enough to remove several layers of epidermis. I will be cleansed.
I'd probably go the Mariner route: "I'm gonna work some shit out..."
Well, probably less "murder all my coworkers because therapy is scary" and more "morning workout routine Cardassian prison break" because I don't hate my coworkers THAT much but I could totally see myself doing some "defend yourself/rescue the hostage" type stuff.
"Whoops, thought it would get me going in the morning by making my morning holodeck warm up a simulated version of the D-Day landings. Turns out while the violence was simulated, the PTSD wasn't."
We witness the future equivalent of professional military service, and mostly follow officers on those ships. And almost always see them in uniform. Perhaps sex drive isn't different but we're witnessing workplace professionalism.
Yes, the univeral and unrealistic competence of the crew extends beyond technical skills to emotional ones--nobody ever abuses their authority over a failed relationship.
Edit: Am I saying it's impossible that it could become a reality? Maybe I'm being too pessimistic about human nature; but I think between military strucutre and being stuck in a tin can full time for years together, things would be messier. Maybe some sailors would like to chime in.
Nah, not too pessimistic. Unless everyone is genetically modified (only through Dr. Bashir and the misfits do we know at least some were), everyone exists on a normal distribution. Lower Decks is arguably closer to what the humans would actually be like.
Introduces? Wesley gets preferential treatment at every turn because his mom is the CMO on the flagship and then because the most famous captain in the quadrant takes a liking to him.
There are more options than going full Barclay. You could go full Geordi only I'd just end up making another Moriarty rather than a Leah as a research partner. Or I make another me to collaborate with. Sex is great and all, but I have much better uses for a holodeck.
I mean sure there's some other uses for it and I'll get to them. After I've run through all my programs and finally decide get to Gadget from Rescue Rangers. I'll realize I respect her too much and just want her as colleague to help me rebuild a warp core.
While everyone is making jokes about sex, Barkley basically just used it as an escape. He created fake versions of his friends and coworkers that he could more easily be confident around, and you being asexual does not preclude you! We are all equally vulnerable yay~
69 replies
Black Mirror did an absolutely magnificent take on this in the episode USS Callister (in my opinion easily top three episode)
Scruffy's gonna die the way he lived.
Funnily enough, when I bought a cheap VR headset, ca. 2020, I did try out the usual things like Google Earth, and, of course, at some point got curious about the, uh, adult contents. Who wouldn't? Y'know, just to take a look...
But somehow, it is... much less erotic. People doing it in 3D is somehow much less cool and much more weird than regular old smut. I blame it on being too realistic for fantasy, yet clearly being not realistic enough for the real thing. The uncanny valley of porn.
I imagine a holodeck would be the same, maybe even worse. Just not working.
I'm pretty sure characters in a holodeck can materially interact with you. So basically it should be quite realistic?
A holodeck gooner is still a weirdo in my book. Just go fuck someone, for chrissakes
I have an entire plan filed away for how things will function in case the holodeck is invented. If I'm wealthy enough, I will never leave it again.
What I loved about Barclay was that he showed there were still regular fucked up people in Star Trek's future.
Maybe a holosuite, but if I'm on a starship, the wonders of the cosmos are definitely getting me outside every once in a while, at least when the crew gets shore leave if I'm not allowed on away missions
By the standards of Next Gen, we're all starving refugees from a horrifying war-torn planet that would need years of therapy to recover from our harrowing ordeal. Giving one of us a holodeck would be the equivalent of giving a concentration camp survivor an all-you-can-eat buffet; it might literally kill us.
I can't even jerk off about people I know unless I've actually done something sexual with them...
I know myself enough to know that I would do it eventually, then I'm also certain that I would feel so awkward afterwards in front of the real person that I wouldn't think to ever try again.
I'm sure the random character generator is more than good enough.
Yeah, I be terrified I'd get caught if it was someone I knew, celebrities though...
I would end up causing one of the infamous "holodeck malfunction" episodes. Except mine wouldn't be a result of the terrible design of the holodeck's safety systems, but simply my urge to fuck with things.
"Computer, simulate a holodeck with safeties off while keeping the safeties on."
"Computer, use the holodeck to construct an intricate simulation of the entire ship, including the holodeck and ship's computer."
"Computer, disable the safety locks and simulate a warp core breach inside the holodeck."
"Computer, disable safety locks and simulate a world-spanning fire."
"Computer, create a holodeck simulation of a holodeck. Have that simulated holodeck simulating a holodeck. Make that a hundred layers deep."
"Computer, have the holodeck simulate both a holodeck larger than itself and a holodeck smaller then itself. Run both simultaneously."
"Computer, create a simulation of Counselor Troi. Then create a simulation of Lieutenant Barclay pleasuring himself to that simulation. Then create a simulation of Counselor Troi psychologically analyzing the Lieutenant Barclay simulation. Then add another Barklay pleasuring himself to the the second Troy. Then and another Troi. Keeping doing this until the holodeck is full. Once operational and running, send an automated message to the real Counselor Troi and Lieutenant Barclay, in each other's voices, asking each other to come to the holodeck for an urgent matter."
Computer, create a simulation of the holodeck, but add mosquitos to any scene within. Do not indicate to anyone entering that they are in a simulation of the holodeck. Keep the program running while I leave until I say stop.
"Whenever someone starts to say the phrase, "computer end program," generate a matching noise-cancelling sound wave at their lips before they finish saying it."
Good one.
Computer disable safety interlocks and simulate a wormhole back to the alpha quadrant.
There, sorted.
*cue IASIP music
How the gang got home with a vibe coded wormhole
Well, I know the furry fandom would. I've known quite a few who went full Broccoli on just VRChat already.
Fantasies wasn’t were Barcley went wrong, it was involving coworkers without consent.
OP knows...
Wait, am I supposed to get consent to fantasize about coworkers?
Well, I think what Barkley did was more like leaving your smutty fan-fic about your coworkers in the break room. It's OK to fantasize, but don't leave a paper trial, and definitely don't leave it where everyone can find it.
I always get permissions from coworkers before i wank to pictures of them. I feel this builds a better relationship.
Around Troi, I guess so.
She must go through some shit
I mean, if you’re going to build life like simulations of them then yeah.
You should ask HR first. They'll love that
Fine. I'm playing with Di-Anna Troy, Bill Ryeckur, JhanLuke Pikhard...
Seems fine to me.
Nailed it!
You idiots! You've captured their stunt doubles!
For some reason that feels creepier.
It is. You have no idea. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
This is canonically true!
So in the Star Trek future, we have holodeck technology that can create practically any scenario a person could imagine, but personal vibrator technology is apparently stuck in the dark ages? I'm a busy bunny, when I need to get my rocks off I want to get that shit over with as quickly and efficiently as possible! I don't want to have to put on a costume and get into specific details with a computer!
But, consider this: you don't need a holodeck for that. When everything is in reach, the previously desirable becomes trivial.
In the same way, putting garlic on your food is nice. Having garlic ready to be spoon-fed to you 24/7 is stupid. The convoluted becomes desirable again.
Hmm.. that’s a tough one, I think it depends if the holodeck I have access to is on a spaceship traveling the universe or not.
If I’m stuck here on earth? Absolutely, gimme, I’ll live in it! I want to be able to see cool things and have pleasant social interactions. I desperately want to like vr for the same reason (not that it’s advanced enough for the socializing part, but not the point) but it makes me sick.
If I was on a space ship, though, especially one like depicted in star trek, totally accepting and encouraging of differences and stuff, where socializing just means wandering around whatever time of day, and talk to whomever you run into, most of the people I’d be around are brilliant, and everyone gets mental health support? Where we regularly explore novel things and new places? What else would there be to need, really? (I’m ace/aro so sex and romance aren’t something I’d be interested in using it for, only platonic companionship and novel exploration environments)
I’d probably use it for exercise, and that’s about it.
Full Barclay? Nah, I’m going full Bortus.
Don't forget 500 cigarettes....you're uh...gonna need them.
I gained access to Minecraft, was bored by the lack of direction, and left after maybe half an hour.
Other people make CPUs in that game.
Given access to a holodeck, I would have it generate a clamshell-style pod fitted to my body filled with rotating brushes that have bristles firm enough to remove several layers of epidermis. I will be cleansed.
more like filleted
Computer, 20% bigger.
Many of us probably would. Myself however would much more likely go the other Barkley.and mutter "Computer, end programme!" every now and then.
I'd probably go the Mariner route: "I'm gonna work some shit out..."
Well, probably less "murder all my coworkers because therapy is scary" and more "morning workout routine Cardassian prison break" because I don't hate my coworkers THAT much but I could totally see myself doing some "defend yourself/rescue the hostage" type stuff.
"Whoops, thought it would get me going in the morning by making my morning holodeck warm up a simulated version of the D-Day landings. Turns out while the violence was simulated, the PTSD wasn't."
Go full Miles and go whitewater rafting one week, play with minis another.
Could even have dinosaur races!
I'd like to argue that the sex drive of the future is somewhat different, but the reaction to Betazoid pheromes make it a hard case to make.
We witness the future equivalent of professional military service, and mostly follow officers on those ships. And almost always see them in uniform. Perhaps sex drive isn't different but we're witnessing workplace professionalism.
Yes, the univeral and unrealistic competence of the crew extends beyond technical skills to emotional ones--nobody ever abuses their authority over a failed relationship.
Edit: Am I saying it's impossible that it could become a reality? Maybe I'm being too pessimistic about human nature; but I think between military strucutre and being stuck in a tin can full time for years together, things would be messier. Maybe some sailors would like to chime in.
Nah, not too pessimistic. Unless everyone is genetically modified (only through Dr. Bashir and the misfits do we know at least some were), everyone exists on a normal distribution. Lower Decks is arguably closer to what the humans would actually be like.
Lower Decks is the best version of Trek in my opinion.
It's messy.
I appreciate the episodes we got, maybe they'll reboot it.
Yes, Lower Decks introduces blatant nepotism into the Star Fleet canon as well.
Gotta pick up Season 3, soon.
Introduces? Wesley gets preferential treatment at every turn because his mom is the CMO on the flagship and then because the most famous captain in the quadrant takes a liking to him.
Not to mention that captain was an old friend of his fathers and a potential love interest of his mother.
Wesley is nepo as fuck. He just happens to be a super genius space Jesus as well.
I assume they've perfected the psych drugs in the Star Trek future so there's less drama. The only thing they can't cure is Pon Farr.
And Ryker goes off the pill 24 hours before an away mission or the arrival of suitable dignitaries.
More like Riker is on the maximum legal dose of the surrpression drug, and its just not enough to contain him.
A “hard” case you say?
Lamia gf you say?
That was essentially the premise of Westworld (the series, not the films.)
The films as well. RomeWorld was just an orgy.
Hell good full sensory VR and I'm ready to check out of this reality.
Obligatory Star Trash
There are more options than going full Barclay. You could go full Geordi only I'd just end up making another Moriarty rather than a Leah as a research partner. Or I make another me to collaborate with. Sex is great and all, but I have much better uses for a holodeck.
I mean sure there's some other uses for it and I'll get to them. After I've run through all my programs and finally decide get to Gadget from Rescue Rangers. I'll realize I respect her too much and just want her as colleague to help me rebuild a warp core.
Me, an asexual: "Heh. Skill issue."
While everyone is making jokes about sex, Barkley basically just used it as an escape. He created fake versions of his friends and coworkers that he could more easily be confident around, and you being asexual does not preclude you! We are all equally vulnerable yay~
He was doing more than just "being confident".