I just had a friendship breakup today because I'm a narcissistic piece of shit.
The title isn't exaggeratory, I have been diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder in 2024. It took me over a year to realize I had an issue.
I didn't treat my friend well at all. I often mocked him or belittled him, but come 2025 I really did try to be better. I confessed to him my issue and told him I wanted to be better.
And yet in doing this, he lost a lot of trust in me. We got into more arguments and had this cycle of arguing, he tells me we're done, and he comes back to me and it starts over again.
And today? Well I told him we are in a super unhealthy cycle. That this is draining and it is bad for both of us. So that is it, we had a bromance breakup.
It fucking sucks. I hate losing a friend. I hope he can do better without me.
11 replies
I'm so sorry. It sounds like you did the right thing in the end, since it does sound like it wasn't a healthy relationship, although I'm sure it hurts a lot right now. Don't give up on bettering yourself! I know you can do it, and you'll make new friends along the way.
This. Too real.
Did exactly that with an ex. It takes a long time to get past it, but it's the only way really.
Good advice. I’ve done this myself. Going on over two years no contanct. It’s an immediate family member.
I've never heard of a narcissist that could self-reflect. Everyone else is always the problem (in their own minds). Are you sure your diagnosis is accurate?
How NPD actually is and can be and how it's portrayed or thought of by the general populous are much different things. Just like with plenty of other diagnoses. I had a friend with it who was a wonderful person who genuinely worked her ass off and sought plenty of professional help to get better. They're absolutely capable of self-reflection. (At least some of them. Obviously I can't speak for everyone.) There's all different types of people with NPD just like there's all different types of people in general.
Of course I have; everyone has. I'm not sure what you're getting at.
The mods removed the comment. What did I miss out on?
I missed their second reply to me before it was removed (you may be able to see it in the modlog,) but the first one was something along the lines of "Right. And have you ever had a friend who didn't 'work their ass off' to get better?" Judging by their other comments where they said anyone with NPD should just go ahead and kill themselves, they've been hurt by someone they feel is 'a narcissist' (that term has taken on a whole different meaning on the Internet nowadays) and are dealing with it in very unhealthy ways. It's a shame.
I've been hurt by family who these people would call narcissists, too. I've got CPTSD from it. So I kind of get it, on some level. Buuut I also recognize that everyone is different....and I don't tell people to kill themselves, lol. That's way fucked up. When one holds onto that much visceral hate, they're hurting themselves far more than anyone else. At that point it's like swallowing poison and expecting someone else to die. I hope they're able to heal some day. :(
i seen people in college with codependancy issues, and it was cause quite some scenes and friend breakups, i know its not the same.
I have never heard of "breaking up" with a friend. Quite interesting from a certain standpoint. But I'm sorry you lost someone. I hope there is a way to get treatment for this.