Looking for a to give a massage (FEMALE ONLY; NOTHING SEXUAL!)
Listen: simple. I want to touch the soft, tender flesh of a female human bean. I do not care if you is eight hundo pounds, and I want to emphasize I am not thinking with my dick. I have shit to do ladies and I just want to restore my oxytocin levels to manifest the Christ in the flesh, as it were, so to speak. Also, I give damn good massages. Will rejuvenate in all the spiritual aspects of life, or your money guaranteed, and yes, I am charging you to touch you, because this is tough love, baybee!
3 replies
Just hire a sex worker. If someone is going to pay to get a massage, they’re going to go to a qualified professional. Not some random offering totally non-sexual massages online to “manifest the Christ in the flesh”, whatever the fuck that means.
Listen, child, you clearly are uncultured as the swine do swag, but as you see, I rizz with the best of them, those people we know who they are, always, as implied, henceforth, therefore, moreover, and on and on and on it's said to be a simple deviation from the norm can cortuce a bitch boy like yourself, so I say now, you a judgmental fool and I like you. Can we be friends? I am a friendly person, more often than not. I don't know how to be the way you like your pretty posts and comments and memes and dreams and shitstorms and geritude. So I just do as I be.
We sure can bestie. To commemorate our blossoming friendship, I’m hiring you a pro.