What did they do to my boy??
This isn't a swashbuckling pirate, this is your Uncle Jim who worked a gig at some kid's vaguely pirate-themed birthday party
There's not a single arrg bone in this guy's body. He's more of a "how're ya doin' kids, it's me, the pirrrrate" kind of guy, you know?
Like, this dude just does NOT have the energy nor the strength to fire a cannon. You really think HE'S gonna take on a kraken? Nah, dude's never even seen a seagull
You know where this dude lives? Probably some town in Iowa, near a Cracker Barrel
It's in his eyes. I can tell
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He's not even wearing the eyepatch on the correct eye! What a phony!
The real pirate, now HE has seen some seven seas shit. He's genuinely got the drive, the ambition for baubles and doubloons
Just look at that crazy eye. Bro has yo'd some hella hos, and yar'd some hella hars
Sidenote, the circular text and serif font just make the original logo FEEL nautical and official too
The new guy doesn't have a sword, either!
Wth, I didn't even notice that lmao
Can't have sharp edges in the font, so I guess can't have a sharp edged weapon either
Can't have a sword on a logo meant for kids, they're not safe!
He's just aging. I mean, his description is on the bag. Aged white cheddar. Poor guy.