Yeah we English speakers have really bent our dicks out of shape over simple things like this. Most languages have specific grammars hard-coded to these situations to express various levels of politeness or urgency.
English, it's always been "Nah, we're more direct. Just say what you mean and mean what you say and it will avoid confusion."
But now everyone is so hypersensitive to the slightest hint of possible hostility or demandingness, that it's getting harder and harder to communicate normally.
Like, I shouldn't need to shroud what I say in half a dozen layers of qualifiers and mitigating language just to tell you this isn't a command and you can make of it what you will. And even if I do that, people will accuse me of arrogance or something just for being so wordy or for "assuming" they needed me to tell them that's not what it is. Yet if I don't, then invariably they'll take it the wrong way anyway. So it's safest just to avoid human interaction.
It's really "damned if I do, damned if I don't," and I'm tired of walking on eggshells just to avoid rubbing someone the wrong way. Like holy fuck.
Then not reading the reply for two whole weeks because I can't deal with the thought of a confrontational answer and question myself daily why I sent that fucking message in the first place, only to then run into them out of the blue and they're absolutely chill and normal and don't mention the message at all so I finally gather the courage to read the message and it said "wat lol was talking about susan no u xD"
4 replies
"Could you..." - no that's way too abrasive
"Would you..." - that sounds like I'm micromanaging them
"Would you please..." - now that's condescending
"Would you mind terribly if..." - a bit better but still too harsh
"Just to inform you that I will do the task myself." - Perfect. Now I just have to not send it.
Yeah we English speakers have really bent our dicks out of shape over simple things like this. Most languages have specific grammars hard-coded to these situations to express various levels of politeness or urgency.
English, it's always been "Nah, we're more direct. Just say what you mean and mean what you say and it will avoid confusion."
But now everyone is so hypersensitive to the slightest hint of possible hostility or demandingness, that it's getting harder and harder to communicate normally.
Like, I shouldn't need to shroud what I say in half a dozen layers of qualifiers and mitigating language just to tell you this isn't a command and you can make of it what you will. And even if I do that, people will accuse me of arrogance or something just for being so wordy or for "assuming" they needed me to tell them that's not what it is. Yet if I don't, then invariably they'll take it the wrong way anyway. So it's safest just to avoid human interaction.
It's really "damned if I do, damned if I don't," and I'm tired of walking on eggshells just to avoid rubbing someone the wrong way. Like holy fuck.
Then not reading the reply for two whole weeks because I can't deal with the thought of a confrontational answer and question myself daily why I sent that fucking message in the first place, only to then run into them out of the blue and they're absolutely chill and normal and don't mention the message at all so I finally gather the courage to read the message and it said "wat lol was talking about susan no u xD"
Nope, can't say I've experienced it.
Or just any message at all