It's a Dad Joke community, it should be oriented toward corny jokes and groan-worthy puns, that only a Dad would love. Don't tell "Dirty Jokes" here. We know what they are. (didn't someone make an "uncle jokes" community for those?)

Having said that, simply noticing that gay and bi people exist (and can also tell dad jokes) in no way qualifies as a "dirty joke". I mean, we talk with kids about people with boyfriends and girlfriends all the time, and tell corny jokes about them, without getting all ooky. Pointing out a couple with two boyfriends isnt any different.

I saw that joke and it made me chuckle, if I were mod here I would have left it alone.

If we can't mention gay marriage, then we must also not speak of straight marriage. If we can't mention same sex relationships, then we must also forbid references to other relationships as well.

Are we really worried that five-year-olds are lurking here? Anyone who makes it this far is old enough to handle mentions of gay/straight/bi/poly relationships. Let's just be pragmatic and draw the line at truly graphic references like any other joke community might.

I just want to throw out as the child of a lesbian couple that I disagree that talking about gay marriage is something that needs to wait until puberty. It certainly didn’t take that long for the other kids at school to notice I had two moms.

There are even kids books for explaining it, when I was a kid I had Daddy’s Roommate and Heather Has Two Mommies just as a for instance.

If gayness is against the rules, straightness needs to be too. Just shut the whole thing down.

1st off, kudos for taking the feedback and criticism in a constructive manner, instead of getting defensive! Something we see way too little of.

Tell me what you think should and should not be included as “off limits topics.”

Lemmy is almost entirely adults. Given our content, I doubt we have any prepubescent kids in our audience. I see no reason for content filters beyond what is required by basic decency and common sense. Beyond that, as long as it fulfils the basic criteria of being a dad joke (groan inducing), let it stand or die on its up (and down) votes.

Dads can have children of all ages, even adult children. I see dad jokes as something that produces a groan but also a chuckle, heavily reliant on puns and broken expectations, not something that is directed at little children, but maybe not raunchy for the sake of shock value. That would be an uncle joke.

I'm happy to see profanity, sex as a topic, etc included.

Thanks for re-evaluating your decision.

I have recently received some feedback about including sexuality as a topic for dad jokes

Hi, that was me 👋🏼

Although it was not the most constructive of feedback

Sorry about that. Usually my first instinct with a removal I consider unreasonable and where I know who did it is to state my case for reinstatement as calmly and politely as I can in a direct message.

I have been rebuffed in doing so before, though, (sometimes angrily to the point of being punished for respectfully disagreeing with a moderation decision) and I guess I let bad experiences with less reasonable mods influence my reaction to the point where I assumed the worst, which wasn't really fair towards you. My apologies.

sex as a topic is not the same as sexuality

True.

I was basing my moderating on what was being reported

While in essence that's a good way to do it, sometimes that can be a form of peer pressure from people trying to enforce their opinion rather than the broader community making itself heard.

I'm sure you know that, though, since you didn't start moderating recently and sound reasonable, so this is more of a reminder for others in the discussion and no condescension or lecturing you about your "job" is intended.

sex being a topic as understood for children closer to puberty, although sexuality such as LGBTQ+ parents/partners/people can be understood much earlier.

This is where your otherwise reasonable argument falls apart, though, as the specific post you removed was clearly the latter and thus within the scope of this community rather than [email protected] or similar.

While I stand by still keeping actual sexual themes (anatomy, sex positions, etc.) as an off-limits topic for the community

Personally I disagree on that, but it's not as important to me as it seems to be to the seeming consensus that agrees, so no worries 🙂

This community is not static; I want to do my best to maintain a place that can grow with the community while staying true as a place for humor in a world that has plenty of unpleasant things. I am not a bot, and am indeed a person that is open to having respectful discussions

This is pretty much the perfect attitude to have as the sole mod of a community like this one IMO, good on you!

Should profanity be allowed

I'm personally a big fan of profanity used well, but I can see how overuse or misuse could be unfortunate in this particular genre of humor, so I'd consider limiting it justified for once.

After all, as someone else hinted at, avoiding "bad" words in front of the child is very much part of how literal dads typically talk, so cursing up a storm would be incongruous heh

I'm still against a total profanity ban, but having common sense "don't make the joke ABOUT profanity and prurient subject matter" and/or "don't use it so much that the joke no longer fits the theme" limitations seems reasonable to me.

I will try to look at the common themes from any feedback and apply them over the next two weeks or so.

Thanks for being fair and reasonable about it and once again sorry for assuming that you wouldn't!

Off limits topics for dadjokes?

Nothing. It's dadjokes. Some dads are more crass.

Ban people being racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, and otherwise bigoted. But besides people being shitty, stop promoting puritan ideals and values, they don't work and are extremely counterproductive and damaging.

The issue here is that by you removing the joke in question, you yourself have done something bigoted. The same as a police officer breaking the law and hurting somebody. YOU have fucked up.<<<<<

Dad jokes are jokes by dads to make their kids cringe. Not to overstep boundaries. And there nothing wrong with LGBTQ+ themed jokes.

I don't see an issue with profanity, sex, drugs, or the like. Happy with what I see peronally but I wouldn't be upset with more relaxed rules

Edit: again, only if it fits into the format of a "dad joke".

A joke acknowledging the existence of gay and bi people is not "unclean" or somehow unreasonable to tell in the company of people of any age. That joke made in the style of "Hi Hungry, I'm Dad!" absolutely belongs in the Dad Jokes community.

Children are born loving their parents, and should figure out pretty quickly that their parents love each other (sometimes even if they don't). Understanding the gist of marriage should therefore come pretty naturally to children, whether gay or straight. If they're perceiving straight marriage as normal and gay marriage as odd, then that's something they've been taught rather than their natural state that needs protecting and preserving until they're older.

When I think of dad jokes I think of adding jokes to my quiver for kids up to around 12 years old, not that I would ever stop telling them. They are jokes that don't require a huge amount of context like who a politician is or historical events and so on, nor are they talking about sex and sexuality. The jokes should never be hurtful to anyone, and should never punch down for sure.

They should also not be morbid but definitely can be gross, so no to death but yes to poop. Appearance is also not ideal, so low hanging fruit like fat jokes and blonde jokes that are reductive and cruel are not good. In general cruelty is not acceptable for me, it stops being a dad joke and becomes a mean joke. The jokes have to have a level of cringe in them, something groanworthy.

I also think the joy of a dad joke is that the kids can join in. The structure is simple enough for kids to understand and over time replicate, so it goes from you making the joke and them working to understand it to you starting the joke and them predicting and eventually responding with an extension of the joke. This is how they learn to make jokes in the first place and this is why they can't be cruel of mean, it teaches what is and is not acceptable to joke about. My parents made fairly bad jokes, but my partner's family made racist jokes and cruel jokes, so my partner has spent a lot of time working to remove those from their process for jokes. It is hard work we don't need to give the kids around us, so I feel that we should avoid it as much as possible.

I'm glad to see this here.

I think in the same way that the reddit community "Explain Like I'm Five" doesn't require explanations to be geared towards actual five-year-olds, I think DadJokes are best described (and most commonly) silly puns. Jokes that tend to elicit a groan along with laughter.

I don't think gearing them towards children is necessary at all, and so I would remove the concern about sex completely.

I'm an adult. I've never had kids. I enjoy dad jokes. It's not about being an actual father, either, come to that.

I prefer no profanity because dad jokes tend to use child appropriate language, sometimes in a way that goes over kids heads. Poop is fine, but a dad joke won't use shit for example.

Thank you for taking the time to follow up on feedback as the removed joke was a perfect dad joke.

You don't have to remove everything that doesn't exactly fit. Just let the post be if it's in the gray area

If the point of the joke involves mature topics they are uncle jokes, not dad jokes. There's a place for both and I enjoy both.

Honestly if there's any question or doubt then refrain from it here.

The flip side of that coin is that this is a text format so its not like readers can't pick and choose what they choose to like and up/down vote. We're not in a rigid world.

The joke before was on the level of “I’m not a doctor but my degree in the wall thinks I am”; it didn’t have anything to do with sex just a stupid (which is key) play on words, totally a dad joke.

was basing my moderating on what was being reported and sex being a topic as understood for children closer to puberty

I think you may have some misconceptions about the physical and mental development children.

Most children begin puberty around 8-9 years old...... If you are cutting dad jokes down to topics appropriate for prepubescent children that leaves out the vast majority of the time people raising their kids.

Yo @loopy, just wanted to leave my spectating/appreciation here for a mod that gives their best, is transparent and willing to adapt. Also for the grace with which you took the criticism that could have been formulated a lot more appreciatively. You're da real mvp. Thank you

I like having the distinction between dad jokes and uncle jokes. I don’t find either personally offensive but I like the idea of having the pure goan inducing corny but clean jokes kept separate.

Team sports ✅

Cuck porn ❌

I think the removed joke was fitting, sexuality is not really something “18+”. I’d keep those type of jokes in the future.

As for themes in general, I personally don’t mind any thematic in dad jokes, so I wouldn’t be against a “free for all”. But I’m fine with the current rules as well.

The only issue with changing the rules would be that it’s sometimes a hassle to allow sex/profanity jokes without having the community filled with “sex/profanity is the whole joke” type of posts. No matter the thematic, what’s important is that the joke is still facepalm/groan-inducing (in the good sense), imo.

The only thing I have a real opinion on is the question of profanity, as you've obviously changed your perspective on the original matter.

Curse words in dad jokes are fine if, and only if, they're part of the word play. Which isn't going to happen often, but it still has a place in dad jokes.

Dad jokes aren't purely about little kids. They're the kind of left field thinking that elicits groans as much laughter. Word play is the central concept, with puns being the dominant form. It's kinda like swifties, as in [Tom Swift](The Joy of Tom Swifties - Merriam-Webster), not Taylor. As an example, from the source I linked: "the thermostat is too high", said Tom heatedly.

The underlying concept is the same, it's the format that differs. The dad joke equivalent of the above would be something like, "who turned the thermostat up? That gets me hot under the collar" or something similar.

There's no reason you can't do word play with curse words. If you're in a household where cursing isn't proscribed, a kid might say something like "teacher is really riding my ass this week", to which you might respond, "I didn't know you had a donkey".

So, while I do think that curse words shouldn't be just thrown in randomly, it's about keeping the structure and fluidity of the format rather than the words themselves. Your prototypical dad joke won't have cursing because it unnecessarily draws the word play out.

Dad jokes are for kids, uncle jokes are the dirtier version. Im not really sure what you should do though.

That's a lot of verbiage and I still don't know what you're talking about. Just give a list of example topics that are ok, and ones that are not ok

Based. Let's go. 🫶

I'm not easily offended, so I don't really care if the community covers topics outside of what a dad might tell his kids.

There's a different problem with the gay joke though.

It's not a dad joke, because it's hardly a joke. It's more like a standup comedy one liner or a low brow boomer statement.

You have to have a certain age to understand it, but you have to be a lot older than that to find it funny.

It's a grandfather joke.

C'mon ! Dad jokes are what dads tell his whole family specifically for those sweet sweet groans from his young kids.

Adult themed content doesn't fit in that cute naivety spirit of dad jokes.

Any dad telling a joke to his grown children is just some dude telling jokes to other adults.

There is definitely no lack of places to spread adult themed musings, but precious few for the punny confectionate that are free from folks trying to be edgy.

Can we introduce some racism? Dad was a real big racist.

All jokes aside, people shouldn't be allowed to use the word 'nevertheless' anymore.