"I have to fake wanting children for my medical issues to be taken seriously" -- German author Silvi Carlsson (article in German)
Medical misogyny and gaslighting is an absolute bitch.
https://www.20min.ch/story/erst-als-silvi-kinderwunsch-beim-arzt-nennt-nimmt-man-sie-ernst-103638370Open linkView original on lemmy.world
7 replies
...Bruh...
Reminds me of those women who deep into their 30s , 40s, and 50s have to run around helter skelter just to search for a doctor who will agree to a bisalpingectomy for them . And most of thrsee women have proven that they have no desire at all to ever have children - even eschewing all sexual relationships unttil they can get the procedure done in them. And of coirse thsse scenarios happen to women who are in their early 20s and get rejected even despite their best efforts to searching and being sure that they arent fit for motherhood.
Lol I got my vasectomy referral at 22 and then the procedure at 23 , and all I had to do was lie to the doctor about 'accidentslly impregnating my gf' (lol Ive never had anyone agree to date me so what 'gf'? 😂🤣) a couple times. He didnt even ask for proof that I had a gf or that she had been accidentally impregnated lol.
Also Im assuming that Germany has a public health care system like canada's right? So that means that tax payers pay a large portion of these gynaecologists and urologists' salaries right?.... So why do we hhave to jump through extra hoops to ask them to do their damn jo that they signed up for even though we pay their salaries?!?
I was able to get a bisalp in the US at 35 pretty easily, but I also had a really good medical reason for not wanting to carry kids and a gyno who was actually cool about it. I have enough of my spine fused in a place that a pregnancy would cause some pretty severe pain (plus I just don’t want to carry a child). My gyno was really sympathetic because he knew me both before and after fusion. He still had to refer me to another doctor because the hospital he worked with wouldn’t approve it (Catholic hospitals SUCK).
I got my referral and the next gyno was also very sympathetic to my circumstances. At the initial consultation, he sincerely apologized because he had to ask questions, per hospital policy, to make sure I was sure. I even brought a friend as moral support, plus she was curious about the process of getting a bisalp. He had a list and when he got to the question of “what if your future husband wants kids”, all 3 of us laughed at it. It was really clear that I was sure.
I have heard horror stories about women trying to get sterilized, a few were from acquaintances. I honestly do not believe it would have been that easy if it hadn’t been for my fusion.
Edit: I fucked up the age, I was 35 when I had my bisalp. Best fucking decision I’ve ever made!
I knew a chick who was maybe in her thirties and doctors flat out refused. Late my wife had fibroids and her gyno was agaisnt ablation but luckily the surgeon was fine but the way I understand it the gyno gave the surgeon an ear full. We had long since known we were not having children at that point. Heck we still used condoms because its not a guarantee of not having kids.
Thanka for your story.
But also it super sucks that there are thousands or even millions of horror stories out there of women and non-males in even their late40s, 50s, 60s STILL getting rejected (Like by the time you hit your 40s-60s pregnancy becomes a procees that you dont even know if its survivable for the baby due to changes in hormones at thatt age for non-males. Heck you dont even know if you will get pregnant onot anymore at that age seeeing as how that is a few years after or the beginning of menopause for most non-males. It would probably be in everyone's best interest to just give a lady a bisalp upon request at those ages. Who wants to deal with asurprise pregnancy when your body has started to slow down at those ages? Who has rhe energy to deal with a newborn at those agee?).
Annd then there are non-males getting rejected for bisalps AND EVEN abortions left and right at younger ages even though those same ladies are equally as sure as older people about not wanting kids. Just thinking about it gets me fucked up!....
It's a bit more like the US's ACA: not single-payer, but insurance companies that have a regulated level of coverage, paid for by paycheck deductions.
Misogyny is still taught in medical school.
also sorry for her pain 🫂