I can't believe this website is free

I guess, the classic 80s comedy staple might work - spike their food and/or drink with laxatives

Day 1: Taco and Prune juice night Day 2: Make them breakfast - coffee and bran flakes; bran muffin. Day 3: Make a cake. Chocolate. Use a pastry bag to ice it with chocolate icing. Be absolutely sure they see you squeezing out the icing onto the cake with a very satisfied, nearly orgasmic look on your face. Make eye contact. Smile. Wink.

https://i.imgur.com/T5Z6BGg.png

Try the old finger trick.

Ahahahaa! Pick your sides, friends. For reference: The infamous "three days no poop" thread
Going to be legendary. (May be they are gaming us all.)

An acidic drink helps ppl poop. Eg an acidic coffee, vinegar, etc

i like dried plums

Ok, at want day are we right now

Offer them some prune juice.

This is like the third pooping related post I am seeing in a day. A bag of haribo sugar-free gummy bears will help the poop flow.

Please tell me that both of you suffer from carbon monoxide poisoning and are close to hypoxia, because I would have a hard time accepting any other explanation for that level of stupidity.