Things don't automatically get better in life. You have to work to improve them. You can be grateful for the things in your life and still pursue the things that fulfill you. But if you're just going through the motions without having something you're working toward, you're never going to stop going through the motions.

Living takes money, as you say, but the things worth doing don't always have a cost. When I was young I could have a great day counting trees and swimming in lakes. I could wander the neighborhood. I could ride a bike — not to anywhere, just ride it. You can draw, paint, play guitar, sing, write, read. Christ, I have money and I look around and just see I've pissed it away on stupid consumer bullshit that doesn't make me happy at all, and takes more effort ultimately that the old cheap ways. I have a stupid $1500 robot vacuum that constantly gets jammed up or needs new rollers or censors or to be emptied, to be filled.... fuck it'd be easier to just use a broom and mop.

Even if I do make friends what do u do with friends? You just joke around with them or get a cup of tea.

Is that so bad? I miss having friends. I love my wife and kids and my extending family but I miss just fucking around with friends most weekends.

How can I get anything anyway that is outside my own comprehension.

It's a bunch of bullshit, but some folks thrive on having something like religion to focus their life around. Just don't go thinking it makes you or anyone special to be religious. But when it is focused on moving forward and being selfless, it can offer people a path to bettering themselves. Like, don't get me wrong, I think it's terrible and do not recommend religion, but some folks find it fulfilling is all.

When I try to think of my reason for living

If someone told you your reason for being alive, what would you do with that? Resent it because it's not what you would choose? Embrace the path you never had a say in? Would you consider yourself a failure if you didn't achieve it? Would you consider yourself worthy and righteous if you did?

You get to choose what your calling is. You get to define success. You get to change your mind. No one is going to tell you why you are here (well they might in religion, but they are wrong). You steer your life in the direction of things you think are important.

wish I was good at music and could make a song out of my feelings

Wishing will never make you good at anything. On the other hand, no one can stop you from worrying a song, a poem, a verse that holds meaning for you.

rich charismatic kids get all

Always has been so. So what? You aren't them and you'll find gifts you've been given that they never were.

If none of it makes sense now, someday it will. But that doesn't mean wait. It means get out there and keep doing with a goal in mind. Big or small. It's best to start small. And see what you can do.

Anyhow, good luck.

Things may not automatically get better, but with age comes perspective and perspective is everything. I am not of the opinion that life has some inherent purpose, life is ultimately what you make of it.

I came from a broken home that I ended up leaving when I was 16 after dropping out of highschool to work multiple jobs to make rent. It took me several rudderless years of minimum wage jobs before deciding I deserved better. I went and got my GED, my bachelor's, and eventually finished grad school.

One thing I think people need to be content is to work at something that they can be proud of. For some lucky people that can also make them money, but I don't think that's a very important aspect. For me the initial thing that pulled me out of my misery was service to others. I like helping people, I like making people's lives better in any way I can, I live to serve. I also love working with my hands, turning ideas and materials into something tangible and giving it purpose.

I was lucky enough to turn that into a career working in a field of healthcare where I get to help people by building things. I truly think that humans need to be busy, not necessarily working, but still being productive in some way. I say buy that guitar, screw what your parents think, they don't have to live your life. It's never too late to learn a skill and it's easier to pick up the younger you are. I didn't start taking piano lessons until my 30s, and it's now one of my favorite pastimes.

Give yourself grace, be kind to yourself and others. You are young and the world is full of opportunities. Once youre older you will be envious of the time you have ahead of you, it goes by fast.

I suggest trying antidepressants. Obviously I can't diagnose you from one post, but my impression is that your problem is primarily in your ability (or lack thereof) to enjoy your circumstances, not in your circumstances themselves. For what it's worth, I'm an adult with a good job, few responsibilities, and enough money to buy anything I might reasonably want and I still need my bupropion - it's just something about how my brain works, not anything in the external world.

Anyway if I tell this to my parents I guess they will just say I am ungrateful; that I should be glad I have a roof over my head.

Your life will naturally feel more chore full living with your parents because you feel like you have to take care of them, or at least make accommodations for them in some way. Source: i live wit' my parents while studying.

Seeing your friends is supposed to not feel like a chore. If it does, reduce the amount you see them until it's actually fun for you, pr change the frequency. You could forego talking to them on IG and instead be the mysterious friend who only sees them at parties, or hangs out with them at events like bowling, paintball, walking or drinking. It's fine to not want to talk 24/7; in fact I agree that spending a lot of time on Instagram is detrimental.

When things do feel like a chore, you must seek ways to find them more fun or grow in tolerance of them. Examples:

• My parents and I watch TV with dinner. We talk sometimes instead. I suppose food is never not fun to me; however, sometimes I feel way too busy to stay for a while, so I ask to eat in my room and immediately return to studying (or just having fun)
• Going to uni in person takes like an extra hour out of the day for travel and disrupts work flow so I watch recording software my lectures and read the textbooks at home a lot.
• Washing up cannot be made more fun, so i just power through that one. I get to do with with 1 other person and talk to them sometimes so that is more fun.
• I got bored of walking for exercise so I took up running. When I couldn't run/didn't feel like it i would simply walk and write a bit

I think you might benefit from finding a solo hobby (or a few) which give you space to gather your thoughts. It seems to me that the problem is other people guiding what you do with your time/life. Adulthood is figuring out, by yourself, how to spend your time - it is the key difference between an adult and a child (kids even before public education was invented, would be told what to do by their parents or peers)

Just wait! Life actually gets worse!!!

I am making a joke but at the same time, I'm 52. I squeaked through the 70's and 80's with an alcoholic father who liked to beat up my mother and I. Once I turned 16, I left home. Mom committed suicide after I left.

Ended up doing some college, then computer programming after a stint in the Air Force. Spent my 20's pretty much dizzy as hell, I loved girls and pool and darts and bars. Spent my 30's teaching English in Asia. Had some fun and dangerous times over there, always research your destination country well before you commit to a job abroad.

I lost my passport in Cambodia, was finally medically evacuated from Cambodia via the US Embassy (I'm 5'9" and weighed 110 lbs, not good!) and was dropped off in L.A. in the middle of December with no money, no ID, and nowhere to go. I had just turned 40.

I spent the majority of my 40's hitchhiking the USA. California to Florida and back twice, then up to Monatana, Idaho, back down through Nevada and Utah twice, then AZ back to FL and finally started hanging out near the places I liked. Eventually that became Houston in the winter and Denver CO or Bozeman MT for summer. I got into house-sitting, I don't hitchhike anymore. I have clients primarily in Denver and Houston and friends all over.

Now I'm 52. Recently diagnosed with spinal stenosis, CES, PTSD and other health issues. It went by fast, although I would have said life moved at a snail's pace when I was a teenager.

You will have to find the motivation to survive whether there's music or not, that's a fact. Life does not come guaranteed with good tunes, although we'll both probably agree it should. Some people tell me I lived the wrong life. Others tell me it's interesting. And some of the drivers that picked me up while hitchhiking -- have told me it was beautiful.

Some rich people are bad. Some are good. Some poor people suck. Others are not. Take everyone at face value. Never lump them into groups. Never burn anyone, and never burn yourself. Watch your back. Hope my little rant helps. You have to find you. You have to decide where you'll go. You have to choose what is important, and what isn't.

And listen to this song regularly by Baz Luhrmann -- "Wear sunscreen. If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now"

Get. That. Guitar. Do whatever it legally takes. Buy used. It won't solve all your problems, and you likely won't make a career out of it, but it will help you greatly with much of what you are going through right now. I played an instrument when I was young, and stopped due to addiction. Now I am much older, and getting back into playing again. I wish I never put it down in the first place, but it feels amazing to play again.

But yeah, in general, life is a big chore. When I was younger, I avoided much of the "chore" stuff, and I have been reaping what I've sown ever since. I would have told my younger self, among other things, to think ahead, and to not put off hard work for tomorrow (advice I can still barely live by).

life is beautiful

6:36 am

Have you tried listening to this?