I love myself some loneliness (vent post)
I'm genuinely gonna try to end it if I dont meet anyone to talk to and bond with. I cant with this, I seem to be an exception while everyone else seems to succeed to at least keep a conversation going. also, this conservative family is suffocating me. and environment is I have melatonin, some atarax and maybe some adderall in the house. nothing really lethal per se, but if I combine it with alcohol and something else, it might be deadly. I honestly dont know what to do
5 replies
I know that it's like to feel that you're just incapable of connecting with people. No matter what you do, it seems like nothing ever works. Every time you meet new people, you're waiting for them to have that realization; that recognition that you're not normal and not somebody they can ever be friends with. Eventually it becomes clear to you that everyone will leave, so there's no point in getting attached or getting your hopes up. It's isolating. It's painful. It hurts so much.
The biggest thing that has helped me was getting to be myself, free of the shackles of pretending to be somebody I'm not. For me that meant transitioning. It didn't make me an extrovert, but it did make me better at socializing to feel confident and comfortable with myself. I bring this up because it sounds like you're in an environment where you can't be yourself. Escape is not easy, but it can be done.
I'm not gonna lie about false hope in a happy ending. Life will always be a struggle in the best of times, but attempting is not an easy alternative. Trying to overdose and failing is a terrible fate; few things scare me more. Hell, even successful overdoses are usually an awful way to go. So please, don't do it, especially not with such terrible meds for it.
Also, please tag this NSFW. Your title is fine
I'm in a similar boat struggling to make any offline friends as a shut-in slowly trying to turn my life back around, and it really feels hopeless for me despite my efforts at meeting with people and communities. I have no support network I can rely on or even family that accepts me, so I'm truly on my own when it comes to that and navigating my transition.
Not sure if we share any interests, but my DMs are always open if you'd like someone to talk to. 🤍
come to the ani.social matrix chat, we love shit chatting about anime related stuff, sometimes food, tech, life and porn
the world is better with us in it
if you want to talk to an internet stranger feel free to dm me
if not, i hope you find what you're looking for, stay safe 🫂
If you need someone to talk to, my DMs should be open! If you mean IRL, I guess the only advice I can give out of context is to look for a safe space somewhere.