Well, of course, we had it tough. We used to 'ave to get up out of the shoebox at twelve o'clock at night and lick road clean wit' tongue. We had two bits of cold gravel, worked twenty-four hours a day at mill for sixpence every four years, and when we got home our Dad would slice us in two wit' bread knife.

There's a note from the Homeowners Association that says hauntings violate your residency agreement.

Don't worry about the roomate. You won't even know he's there most of the time.