Via:

THAT’S WAY TOO MUCH INFORMATION

“When you start eating healthy, you don’t need toilet paper,” he claimed. “Animals in the wild have no residual stool on their anus.” He described a proper bowel movement to me this way: odorless, wipe-free, over in three to seven seconds and “nearly orgasmic.”

what. the fuck. did we all just read.

that quote is indeed from Dr. Sean O’Mara, the bro who has been advising Donny’s sewer clowns on what foods they should be eating. apparently, according to O’Mara, if you have to wipe your ass, you’re pooping wrong.

I have the same question I always have: where do they find these people? every goddamned person in the Donnyverse is a crackpot lunatic. you can start at the top, with the ignorant moron who thinks magnets stop working when they get wet.

then there’s the gin-pickled embarrassment over in the Pentagon, who should be spending less time obsessing over the testosterone levels of his warfighting warfighters, and more time, y’know, counting missiles — because it’s very fucking hard to win a war when you don’t have any.

don’t even get me started on the bear-carcass-kidnapping measles enthusiast who keeps a chainsaw in the trunk of his car, just in case he runs across any whales who need their heads liberated from their bodies.

and now you can add to the mix some quack who literally thinks his shit don’t stink.