Let me guess, his doctor also says he's a very stable genius

Did they poach said "doctor" from N. Korea? 🙄🤮

This is why I eat the Onion every time. It's so much less absurd that reality now.

and even “nearly orgasmic” bowel

What the fuck is wrong with these people?

According to O’Mara, the benefits go beyond general health improvements. “When you start eating healthy, you don’t need toilet paper,” O’Mara told the New York Times Magazine. “Animals in the wild have no residual stool on their anus.”

First of all this man has never owned a animal or spent time on a farm, because unfortunately lots of animals end up with residual stool on their anus.

Secondly, pretty sure animals not needing toilet paper has more to do with the fact that humans are the only habitual bipedal mammals. And a lot of animals just use their tongues......

Of course this guy is an emergency medicine md and not a cardiologist or a GI doc.