Why Becoming a Parent is Like Having a Crap Character Join Your RPG Party in a Video Game [TwistedDoodles]
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::: spoiler Transcript A comic with 9 illustrations
Why Becoming a Parent is Like Having a Crap Character Join Your RPG Party in a Video Game
by @twisteddoodles
- A person with a horned helm and a sword next to a small child. A name field hovers over head that reads “A _ _ _ _ END”
You get to name them.
- The person covered in soot, their helm on fire fights off a fire bat. The kid is excited.
They are so weak you have to protect them
- The person holds a small bag of gold in one hand. The child is now equipped with a matching horned helm and small sword.
You spend all your money on equipment for them
- The person stands with a potion in hand held above the child whose face is green. A green skull hovers over the child’s head and sick wavy lines radiate off the kid.
Either that or on potions for all the ailments they pick up
- The person’s face is now green and looks unwell. The green skull hovers over head and ominous lines radiate off the persons face. The child looks well and happy.
And then give to you
- The person stares unamused at a large and confused orange slime who has just been hit with a rock thrown by the child.
Even though they can’t inflict damage on enemies
- The person stares down as the child pokes themselves in the face with their sword.
They are able to inflict damage on themselves
- The person reaches for a button that hovers the child. Above the button is the text “Button!”
And are likely to eat dropped items
- The person holds hands with the child and both are happy and sunny.
But they level faster than you realize.
And to them you’ll always be a hero :::
6 replies
I have a sense this came from someone who had a pretty good childhood and now has a child who is probably not that old. Anyone who had an even slightly troublesome childhood would know parents frequently lose the 'hero' status, and many times become villains. Anyone who deals with kids over a certain age is very likely to have been told 'I hate you,' for some stupid reason. You will not 'always be a hero.'
I’m feeling this today. We have a tight-knit school community and I just had to alert another parent that her kid was saying some really uncool things in a group chat that my kid is in. Felt like a narc. But I know she’d want to know. This after my own kid had a hell of a group chat problem earlier this year by using racial slurs and aggressive swearing toward someone he was mad at. Thankfully I happened to see it right away and addressed it, messaged the other parents to apologize, etc. but it was baaaad. Now I wonder if my kid just deletes messages; did he really learn his lesson or not? Sigh.
Tell that to the kid someone brought to the store today. That was definitely inflicting sonic damage on my ears.
This is really sweet <3
Sometimes they can inflict some AOE damage on enemies with their scent or screams haha
Deaf granny: You have no power here.
This is really good. Chuckled along then got slapped in the feels.
But good feels.