Holy fuck, I can already see it coming so before any bullshit even starts...
Ahem... is this thing 📣 on? OK...
RULE 1 OF THIS COMMUNITY
WOMEN ONLY
Trans women are women, and transphobic or gender critical talk isn’t allowed. Anyone under the trans umbrella (e.g. non-binary, bigender, agender) is free to decide whether a women’s community is a good fit for them.
You know what was nice? When I posted the request for more music a couple of dudes dm'd me some of their favorite female artists, to respect our space.
That's wonderful to hear. I was just saying the other day how much it sucks that we only see dudes who reinforce their manosphere bullshit around here. It gives me hope to hear from the good guys, too.
Yep we do... Blaze and ![email protected] have been our biggest cheerleaders from day one, and I even get men messaging saying they've blocked the community cos they don't want to disrespect us by reading it. Sadly the vocal minority love having their tantrums in our sandbox
I'm gonna lock sooner in future. I really don't like silencing people, and cutting out people's really interesting conversations... but the manosphere are just so eye rollingly predictable
Intersectionality is the idea that people can suffer from disadvantages due to the specific combination of their identities, which people with just one of those identities wouldn't. While general misandry is a nothingburger, I think there are consequential forms of intersectional misandry.
For example, transmisandry. That's the unique challenges trans men face, which aren't faced by cis men or trans people of other genders. Trans men are often erased and ignored to a greater degree than trans women. A lot of transphobes talk about how "men can't get pregnant", and are thinking about trans women, not trans men. Trans men often suffer misgendering when they seek menstrual or gynecologic care.
There are also the ways black men face forms of racism that black women tend not to face. As soon as a black boy turns 10 years old, he's considered by society to be a man when it comes to the law. And yet many black men over 18 are called "boy" and excluded from adulthood in other areas.
As a transfemme enby, I used to have some really strong emotional reactions about perceived misandry. That's mellowed out a lot since I transitioned, but I'm still gonna bat for our brothers in the trans community and the Blak community. I think the reason I got so upset about this stuff when I was a teenager was because I was used to perceiving Myself as a boy/man, and I fucking hated it, and felt it was the worst thing ever. So I was thinking "You don't understand how hard it is to be a man! I want to kill myself every day because I'm a man!" And yeah, that's a huge egg moment. I'm able to think more clearly about this stuff now that I'm out of all of that sort of thinking.
yeah i used to be much more up in arms against misandry for the same reasons. it was really hard trying to be a man when i was really a woman inside, so i thought thats what it was like for all men. i also really hated having stereotypes that were basically the exact opposite of me applied to me just because i was perceived as a man. that shit really hurt. like yes im horny a lot but im not a heartless sex fiend or a rapist. i like kids but that doesnt mean im a pedo. i felt like i had to do so much hedging against male stereotypes because it felt like people were so ready to apply them to me even though i didnt fit them at all.
since transitioning i get it a lot more. i really didnt realize how differently men treat women in general, in a bad way. even men who dont know im a woman treat me differently since i started estrogen, like theyre subconsciously picking up on the vibe. the worst though is when men know im a trans woman. ive finally been cat called and it made me feel so uncomfortable. ive been asked how big my dick is more times than i care to count, though that is mostly just dating apps and chatting with randos online. i could list more of my experiences but i know ive barely scratched the surface compared to what cis women have gone through. i keep expecting these to be isolated incidents, to find most men are chill, but i keep being disappointed. so i get misandry much more now. its built brick by brick by horrible men treating women badly, until the inescapable conclusion is fuck men.
Not uncontroversial in some spaces, but I have heard some trans masc folks describe that intersection as transandrophobia to distinguish it from misandry.
MOD NOTE... "don't be a dick" is a community rule. Please be mindful of behaviour towards men that come in. Yes they're breaking the rules, but that doesn’t mean we can break them too
Yes, women face proportionally more violence than men. Women are often financialy dependent on a family member which makes it hard to leave an unhealthy or abusive relationship.
Just as mysoginy can surpress women, misandry can surpress men.
"What do you mean your wife abuses you? Pfft. Aren't you stronger than her?"
Notion that a man can't possibly be abused by a woman since he is physicly stronger and is expected to handle himself and be dominant
"We decided to grant sole custody of your children with your ex-wife to her. Based on both your testemonies we felt she performed vital care work and is therefore a better fit. What do you mean whilst you can't help getting them to school and doctors appointments you still spent time with your kids and are very engaged in their hobbies?"
US courts prefer giving custody primarily to mothers in divorcing hetero couples since they focus on organizational tasks such as "who takes your children to school, their music lessons, sport clubs, or doctors?" Tasks more often performed by mothers. Meanwhile they focus less on soft factors such as
"What is you childs favorite toy/animal/disney princess etc.? What is a pasttime they currently enjoy." These are potential bonding opportunities for fathers but are often not asked about in court, leading to a skewed representation of family dynamics in many cases, in which judges decide fathers aren't as engaged in their child's life.
"Men don't cry"
The stigma of emotional expression leads to men being less emotionally available and percieved as weak when they do. This is one of the causes for high suicide rate in men.
While I understand that men can be scary, and I undertstand the effects of trauma and by no means am I trying to dismiss uncomfortable or downright terrifying experiences with men, I find the original post to be misleading and dimissive.
Furthermore I believe that othering men which is a mechanism in misandry may also hurt women, since I personally find that propagating men as first and foremost dangerous leads to higher anxiety around male strangers.
Lastly, a hot take. Maybe this othering is a factor in men seeking out manosphere influencers. Misandry and the need for male emancipation are driving factors in men seeking out manosphere influencers.
Edits: improved readability and typos
Edit two: Genuine correction of my hot take.
US courts do NOT prefer to give custody to mothers, they prefer to give custody to parents that give a fuck and request custody. This is part of the lies that the manosphere uses to cast women as the enemy.
Respect the rules of this community and get the fuck out of here with this incel bullshit.
I reread it and I realized that the hot take read as if it is women's fault men fall for manosphere influencers, and corrected it.
Of course everyone is responsible for their own actions, regardless of gender.
Regardless, I would have appreciated a more constructive approach to your comment.
I would appreciate it if you followed the rules for this community.
This discussion can be more constructive in a community where it is more fitting. This is not the place. And especially not with the attitude of scolding women for being rightfully put off by the type of men who uphold the patriarchy. Ironically, the issues you listed arent from misandry at all.
US courts prefer giving custody primarily to mothers in divorcing hetero couples since they focus on organizational tasks such as “who takes your children to school, their music lessons, sport clubs, or doctors?” Tasks more often performed by mothers. Meanwhile they focus less on soft factors such as “What is you childs favorite toy/animal/disney princess etc.? What is a pasttime they currently enjoy.” These are potential bonding opportunities for fathers but are often not asked about in court, leading to a skewed representation of family dynamics in many cases, in which judges decide fathers aren’t as engaged in their child’s life.
This entire paragraph is a lie. I wanted to highlight this for you and anyone else who stumbles in here. This is all lies. This is not how family court goes in the US.
28 replies
Holy fuck, I can already see it coming so before any bullshit even starts...
Ahem... is this thing 📣 on? OK...
RULE 1 OF THIS COMMUNITY
Thank you <3
And here I was grabbing some snacks to watch another exciting comment section unfold.
They’re so boring at this point. Why not brigade a post about lace shorts and contribute some fashion advice instead, geez!
this is a joke please don’t comment on any posts here plz
You know what was nice? When I posted the request for more music a couple of dudes dm'd me some of their favorite female artists, to respect our space.
That was very cool of them.
I often get nice DMs from men saying how much they support us! I love them
That's wonderful to hear. I was just saying the other day how much it sucks that we only see dudes who reinforce their manosphere bullshit around here. It gives me hope to hear from the good guys, too.
Yep we do... Blaze and ![email protected] have been our biggest cheerleaders from day one, and I even get men messaging saying they've blocked the community cos they don't want to disrespect us by reading it. Sadly the vocal minority love having their tantrums in our sandbox
That’s really cool of them oh my goodness! I love that!!
I'm gonna lock sooner in future. I really don't like silencing people, and cutting out people's really interesting conversations... but the manosphere are just so eye rollingly predictable
Intersectionality is the idea that people can suffer from disadvantages due to the specific combination of their identities, which people with just one of those identities wouldn't. While general misandry is a nothingburger, I think there are consequential forms of intersectional misandry.
For example, transmisandry. That's the unique challenges trans men face, which aren't faced by cis men or trans people of other genders. Trans men are often erased and ignored to a greater degree than trans women. A lot of transphobes talk about how "men can't get pregnant", and are thinking about trans women, not trans men. Trans men often suffer misgendering when they seek menstrual or gynecologic care.
There are also the ways black men face forms of racism that black women tend not to face. As soon as a black boy turns 10 years old, he's considered by society to be a man when it comes to the law. And yet many black men over 18 are called "boy" and excluded from adulthood in other areas.
As a transfemme enby, I used to have some really strong emotional reactions about perceived misandry. That's mellowed out a lot since I transitioned, but I'm still gonna bat for our brothers in the trans community and the Blak community. I think the reason I got so upset about this stuff when I was a teenager was because I was used to perceiving Myself as a boy/man, and I fucking hated it, and felt it was the worst thing ever. So I was thinking "You don't understand how hard it is to be a man! I want to kill myself every day because I'm a man!" And yeah, that's a huge egg moment. I'm able to think more clearly about this stuff now that I'm out of all of that sort of thinking.
yeah i used to be much more up in arms against misandry for the same reasons. it was really hard trying to be a man when i was really a woman inside, so i thought thats what it was like for all men. i also really hated having stereotypes that were basically the exact opposite of me applied to me just because i was perceived as a man. that shit really hurt. like yes im horny a lot but im not a heartless sex fiend or a rapist. i like kids but that doesnt mean im a pedo. i felt like i had to do so much hedging against male stereotypes because it felt like people were so ready to apply them to me even though i didnt fit them at all.
since transitioning i get it a lot more. i really didnt realize how differently men treat women in general, in a bad way. even men who dont know im a woman treat me differently since i started estrogen, like theyre subconsciously picking up on the vibe. the worst though is when men know im a trans woman. ive finally been cat called and it made me feel so uncomfortable. ive been asked how big my dick is more times than i care to count, though that is mostly just dating apps and chatting with randos online. i could list more of my experiences but i know ive barely scratched the surface compared to what cis women have gone through. i keep expecting these to be isolated incidents, to find most men are chill, but i keep being disappointed. so i get misandry much more now. its built brick by brick by horrible men treating women badly, until the inescapable conclusion is fuck men.
Not uncontroversial in some spaces, but I have heard some trans masc folks describe that intersection as transandrophobia to distinguish it from misandry.
I’d wear the camo hoodie in a heartbeat hahaha
Me too. Is it for sale somewhere? 😉
I have hip-hugging loose pants in a similar pattern, which I usually pair with a nice, tight black tee.
They kinda look like clothes for toddlers which is funnier to me
MOD NOTE... "don't be a dick" is a community rule. Please be mindful of behaviour towards men that come in. Yes they're breaking the rules, but that doesn’t mean we can break them too
Yes, women face proportionally more violence than men. Women are often financialy dependent on a family member which makes it hard to leave an unhealthy or abusive relationship.
Just as mysoginy can surpress women, misandry can surpress men. "What do you mean your wife abuses you? Pfft. Aren't you stronger than her?"
Notion that a man can't possibly be abused by a woman since he is physicly stronger and is expected to handle himself and be dominant
"We decided to grant sole custody of your children with your ex-wife to her. Based on both your testemonies we felt she performed vital care work and is therefore a better fit. What do you mean whilst you can't help getting them to school and doctors appointments you still spent time with your kids and are very engaged in their hobbies?"
US courts prefer giving custody primarily to mothers in divorcing hetero couples since they focus on organizational tasks such as "who takes your children to school, their music lessons, sport clubs, or doctors?" Tasks more often performed by mothers. Meanwhile they focus less on soft factors such as "What is you childs favorite toy/animal/disney princess etc.? What is a pasttime they currently enjoy." These are potential bonding opportunities for fathers but are often not asked about in court, leading to a skewed representation of family dynamics in many cases, in which judges decide fathers aren't as engaged in their child's life.
"Men don't cry" The stigma of emotional expression leads to men being less emotionally available and percieved as weak when they do. This is one of the causes for high suicide rate in men.
While I understand that men can be scary, and I undertstand the effects of trauma and by no means am I trying to dismiss uncomfortable or downright terrifying experiences with men, I find the original post to be misleading and dimissive. Furthermore I believe that othering men which is a mechanism in misandry may also hurt women, since I personally find that propagating men as first and foremost dangerous leads to higher anxiety around male strangers.
Lastly, a hot take.
Maybe this othering is a factor in men seeking out manosphere influencers.Misandry and the need for male emancipation are driving factors in men seeking out manosphere influencers.Edits: improved readability and typos Edit two: Genuine correction of my hot take.
Every single thing you listed here is part of patriarchy and misogyny. Nothing you described is misandry. Nothing.
Didn't even read this slop.
US courts do NOT prefer to give custody to mothers, they prefer to give custody to parents that give a fuck and request custody. This is part of the lies that the manosphere uses to cast women as the enemy.
Respect the rules of this community and get the fuck out of here with this incel bullshit.
I reread it and I realized that the hot take read as if it is women's fault men fall for manosphere influencers, and corrected it. Of course everyone is responsible for their own actions, regardless of gender.
Regardless, I would have appreciated a more constructive approach to your comment.
I would appreciate it if you followed the rules for this community.
This discussion can be more constructive in a community where it is more fitting. This is not the place. And especially not with the attitude of scolding women for being rightfully put off by the type of men who uphold the patriarchy. Ironically, the issues you listed arent from misandry at all.
And we would have appreciated your following THE RULES OF THIS COMMUNITY!
Just so you know. Have a great day, K? Bye.
ZDL you need to tone it down, you can't call people an incel piece of shit
Fixed.
Thanks Z ❤️
This entire paragraph is a lie. I wanted to highlight this for you and anyone else who stumbles in here. This is all lies. This is not how family court goes in the US.