Was discovering you have aphantasia upsetting for anyone else?
I read an article about aphantasia a couple days ago, just stumbled on it, and realized that I have complete aphantasia. I've been feeling a kind of vague depression about it ever since, like a new distinct feeling that something is missing, even though I've been like this my whole life. I started sobbing just reading the article, making these connections.
I guess I'm just wondering if this is normal, did anyone else in this community grieve over the loss of... something we've never had anyway?
14 replies
For me it's isn't complete aphantasia but nearly, as I can only get a fleeting glimpse when I visualize something.
But I am a creative individual in many ways, so I try not to beat myself up over the ways in which I lack, especially given that I have no control here.
That's a really good attitude! ... Not me though haha I want so badly to be able to control this 😮💨
I have put way too much effort in self-hatred. I'm trying to be more self-forgiving. It's a slow process.
Maybe there are techniques to pursue, akin to meditation and mindfulness. I honestly don't know if it's possible to treat aphantasia, but looking into it is worthwhile.
You know what, that is something I struggle with a bit in general too. Maybe that is part of me feeling so weird about this!
The thing that changed my viewpoint is learning that the act of remembering changes the memory in your brain.
So when something pops in from your past and you cringe and beat yourself up over it, you also poison the well. Suddenly you find there are no memories left that don't evoke shame.
You have to forgive yourself, or at least try. Most of us have nothing that terrible to be ashamed of in the first place, and the rest... this will still help whittle down the list to things you're ashamed of that you can atone for in acts of service.
That's kind of why I feel so sad about having aphantasia. Maybe I'd be a whole different person if I actually saw things differently!
I really appreciate your perspective, thank you. This is out of our personal control, being more mindful of how I let myself think about it will probably help more than anything.
Not really bothered here. Finding out some people hear voices was the weirder one (e.g. internal monologue that's actual audible), but I feel relief that I don't have that
Some people WHAT
Is this a thing for every sense? I swear if there's people out there who can just conjure the taste /smell /sensation of whatever they want I'm going to lose my mindddddd 😩🙃
I don't know the word for it, but I found out that people with aphantasia also "have this" which apparently means "normal" people actually hear something with their internal monologue and/pr thoughts. That's horrifyingly noisy to me.
That does sound awful! I thought that's basically what auditory hallucinations were, so (like so many other things now) I'm wondering if I've always misunderstood what that is too. Brains are crazy wow!
ADHD made me feel that way, but aphantasia didn't. Being able to see things in my mind feels like a party trick though. Kinda cool, but not something I worry about not being able to do
Do you feel like your aphantasia has affected the way you perceive or remember your own life?
I think that's what I feel I'm missing out on the most. There's so many things that I'm longing to remember with imagery now.
I can't imagine how that'd mix with ADHD! Do you get the ADHD "wandering mind"? I'm not a daydreamer at all but I think I would be if I could actually see things!
I don't know that affected is the right word. I have no doubt that it influences the way I remember, but I have nothing to compare it to. And I don't really think having an image attached to a memory would fundamentally change my experience of it.
And interestingly, no, I don't get the wandering mind thing with ADHD. I get distracted plenty, but never inside my own head
Yeah, influenced is a better description. I feel like I'm missing out on an important perspective, like, you know the term seeing things from someone else's point of view but actually seeing things haha