My dad doesn't misgender me, but he keeps deadnaming me, then apologizing by saying "you'll always be my little boy". I hate this so much. Why would you say that to me! It's literally the exact opposite thing I want to hear!
Do you folks think I should tell him why I started calling him "Pop"? I picked it up from Ranma 1/2 about 30 years ago. ๐
Depending how you react, he genuinely might not realize you hate it and it feels like gentle ribbing for him. Especially since he apparently accepts it otherwise
Definitely second this recommendation, especially if they have otherwise been supportive of your transition. We had a member of our discord server who was openly trans relatively early on and had a very strict anti-bigotry policy and of course we're very accepting the lgbtq+ community. Because of this, we have a good chunk of regular members who come out relatively early during their transition. Because of this, particularly when playing fast paced games with them, I accidentally misgender them because their voice hasn't really changed yet to match their gender. I always tell them from the get-go and remind them from time to time that anytime I do so to please correct me and politely scold me because it's not something I do intentionally. It's just stupid monkey brain and that hopefully by correcting me I'll be able to reprogram monkey brain.
my social nephew just came out as ftm. thus far my wife and i are the only ones in his circle gendering and naming him properly outside of his circle of friends. I just want to take his parents to lunch, shake them by the shoulders and yell "YOU LOVE HIM SO MUCH AND WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR YOUR SON WHY IS CALLING HIM WHAT HE WANTS TO BE CALLED TOO FAR?"
How receptive the conversed is, I would diversify my options.
But clearly the unreliable DNA donor will not be getting courtesy.
For all I know, the conversed is an ally, and clearly the donor should be ignored.
20 replies
My dad doesn't misgender me, but he keeps deadnaming me, then apologizing by saying "you'll always be my little boy". I hate this so much. Why would you say that to me! It's literally the exact opposite thing I want to hear!
Do you folks think I should tell him why I started calling him "Pop"? I picked it up from Ranma 1/2 about 30 years ago. ๐
Depending how you react, he genuinely might not realize you hate it and it feels like gentle ribbing for him. Especially since he apparently accepts it otherwise
I'd gently tell him if the situation allows
Definitely second this recommendation, especially if they have otherwise been supportive of your transition. We had a member of our discord server who was openly trans relatively early on and had a very strict anti-bigotry policy and of course we're very accepting the lgbtq+ community. Because of this, we have a good chunk of regular members who come out relatively early during their transition. Because of this, particularly when playing fast paced games with them, I accidentally misgender them because their voice hasn't really changed yet to match their gender. I always tell them from the get-go and remind them from time to time that anytime I do so to please correct me and politely scold me because it's not something I do intentionally. It's just stupid monkey brain and that hopefully by correcting me I'll be able to reprogram monkey brain.
That's misgendering.
You're absolutely right. I know he means well, it's just heartbreaking.
Yes, you should definitely tell him.
And then start calling him panda.
Thats a grown ass man.
https://xkcd.com/37/
is that applicable if there was originally no hyphen?
Wild card
I'm adding a comma before man
Don't even have to click the link to figure out which one it is
Let alone having memorized the number for it
"...And this is my dad, haha yup, jk she's my mom and I'm her son."
At least that's how it would play out in my head, if I were in that situation? Idk.
Now I'm wondering how common both parent and child transitioning is, seems sorta... cute, in a weird way.
I suspect my mom would like it if I did that.
Oh that is so relatable and it always makes people really awkward
my social nephew just came out as ftm. thus far my wife and i are the only ones in his circle gendering and naming him properly outside of his circle of friends. I just want to take his parents to lunch, shake them by the shoulders and yell "YOU LOVE HIM SO MUCH AND WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR YOUR SON WHY IS CALLING HIM WHAT HE WANTS TO BE CALLED TOO FAR?"
how about the magic โจairhornโจ
they are also musicians i would never hurt their ears.
How receptive the conversed is, I would diversify my options.
But clearly the unreliable DNA donor will not be getting courtesy.
For all I know, the conversed is an ally, and clearly the donor should be ignored.
I'm reading it as the daughter being amab and just started transitioning. she's just awkward. and annoyed how much of a non issue it was for her Mom