As someone genderful, I see gender as a performance, and I got the wrong script. Luckily, nobody seems to have noticed that I'm making it all up as I go along. XD
nonbinary: identifies in any way that falls outside the woman/man gender paradigm. this includes but is not limited to agender people, and some other examples are genderfluid, bigender, and xenogender identities
agender: lacks gender entirely or does not identify with any particular gender
so all agender people are nonbinary, but not all nonbinary people are agender
Some agender people reject the NB and trans label, others use it. Personally, I've used all three but there was a point where I specifically identified as a gender but didn't think trans or NB were useful labels, so I rejected them even though I thought I'd technically fall under the broad definition.
For me, I was attracted to the agender label first because my basically feeling about gender was in was too autistic for gender. Before adopting the agender label, I was confused how someone who was autistic could be cis or trans. I thought gendered restrictions and norms were annoying and felt like I tended to ignore gender more than most on accident (ie: someone else pointing out that I was the only guy in a group on a couple occasions... Once when it was supposed to be girls' turn to change on the bus... Oops). Agender people at least on reddit seem to be overwhelmingly ace.
NB is a big umbrella. It would include agender, bigender, poly gender, demigender, gender fluid, etc.
My first reaction was agender would be sort of like atheist, basically just no gender (I don't believe in that shit at all) and it looks like it is in its own way.
This subject is outside of my group personally, so I just have limited exposure to it but I figured it would be nice to learn where people's thoughts are. Thanks again :)
It's rough out there for some of us. I have long curly hair and massive curves (I can't even bind because of medical issues). Trying to get people to use any pronouns but she/her is a lot of work
Gender is, at its heart, a social construct. You can accent certain features, even throw on a big sandwich board saying "I AM ". But at the end of the day, you're banking on other people recognizing you as you want to be seen (and then not being trollish contrary assholes).
If social conventions shift and lots of dudes start growing out long curls and padded pants, you'll be in luck. If every dude in America wakes up one morning and gets a crew cut and cuts weight to twinkish proportions, you're in trouble.
Maybe people could recognize gender as a function of fashion rather than a genetic branding marker. Then the idea of being non-binary or fluid would have enough socially acknowledged signifiers to click. Until then, just gotta be the trend-setter you want to see in the world and "dress non-binary" loudly, I guess? Or dress like a schlub and bank on baggy cloths blurring the lines enough for people not to think hard about it.
This is why I tell people "any pronouns" despite almost always referring to myself as "it" or "they". I find it useful to hear how I am percieved, it helps me figure out just how "extra" I need to dress to be seen as a person of mixed gender.
Some folks find it more natural to ostracize those who don't fit within their worldview rather than updating their worldview to accommodate new information.
mf, am I supposed to look like your narrow funnel of expression, you acorn? Did soup one day decide taste this stale, or did you also add butter to your gumbo?
Well, it's gender, not sex. Gender is just social "standards". The clothes, the mannerisms, the interest, the hobbies, arguably the sexual interests depending which idiot you talk to, certainly the hair dos and the standings or places in traditional society. It's the roles, the stereotypes, the things you can do, can't do, should do, shouldn't do. It's the core of why gender inequality exists—can't have that without the concept of gender, something so artificial and groundless we all can't even agree on it anyway. Just made up social things we would be better off going back to being without.
If you identify as an "alpha male" people will hate you. If you're a "transgender", people will hate you. If you don't change your social identity to be any of those things and just be you, people generally don't hate you. No labels attached.
Gender is just acknowledging and/or adhering to the oldest conservative values we historically have of what male does and what female does—funnily enough, "at the time", as history constantly reminds us—and little else. Any gender label is just an acknowledgement and conformity to these social things, whether in hybrid conformity or social defiance.
It's why two guys holding hands is "gay" in most societies, but it's normal in Bangladesh; a society that hates gays.... Yeah, what?
So long as "it"—whatever it is—is a label, "it" will be open for social interpretation and contention.
Life's easier when you reject labels and all the traits that come with them. Sure, some people will treat you like shit, but that's their problem. Wear what you want, fuck what you want, be into the things you like, no need to justify it to others or pursue a reason or label for it. People will leave you alone if you just be you. They'll hate you if you conform to a social thing the social things they conform to have been taught to hate.
Society is dumb. Enjoy it but reject it.
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people really struggle to see anything but binary, don't they? | Spyke
25 replies
I often see community memes and feel as though I took part in a collective fever dream. Good show
Great show till about that last season and especially the ending.
Definitely thought of better ways they could end it. I’m also not holding my breath for the movie. At this point just let it die.
Good the first 3 years followed by 1 that made no sense, then Glover left and it couldn't quite recapture the magic without him.
As someone agender, I see gender as a performance, and sometimes I just don’t feel like acting.
As someone genderful, I see gender as a performance, and I got the wrong script. Luckily, nobody seems to have noticed that I'm making it all up as I go along. XD
First I've seen of that, genuine curiosity, is that another term for nonbinary? How would you define each.
Also, username checks out
my understanding is that:
so all agender people are nonbinary, but not all nonbinary people are agender
i had to look that up, and i'm rather happy there's a word for that now.
Some agender people reject the NB and trans label, others use it. Personally, I've used all three but there was a point where I specifically identified as a gender but didn't think trans or NB were useful labels, so I rejected them even though I thought I'd technically fall under the broad definition.
For me, I was attracted to the agender label first because my basically feeling about gender was in was too autistic for gender. Before adopting the agender label, I was confused how someone who was autistic could be cis or trans. I thought gendered restrictions and norms were annoying and felt like I tended to ignore gender more than most on accident (ie: someone else pointing out that I was the only guy in a group on a couple occasions... Once when it was supposed to be girls' turn to change on the bus... Oops). Agender people at least on reddit seem to be overwhelmingly ace.
NB is a big umbrella. It would include agender, bigender, poly gender, demigender, gender fluid, etc.
Huh. Thanks for the info friend.
My first reaction was agender would be sort of like atheist, basically just no gender (I don't believe in that shit at all) and it looks like it is in its own way.
This subject is outside of my group personally, so I just have limited exposure to it but I figured it would be nice to learn where people's thoughts are. Thanks again :)
It's rough out there for some of us. I have long curly hair and massive curves (I can't even bind because of medical issues). Trying to get people to use any pronouns but she/her is a lot of work
Gender is, at its heart, a social construct. You can accent certain features, even throw on a big sandwich board saying "I AM ". But at the end of the day, you're banking on other people recognizing you as you want to be seen (and then not being trollish contrary assholes).
If social conventions shift and lots of dudes start growing out long curls and padded pants, you'll be in luck. If every dude in America wakes up one morning and gets a crew cut and cuts weight to twinkish proportions, you're in trouble.
Maybe people could recognize gender as a function of fashion rather than a genetic branding marker. Then the idea of being non-binary or fluid would have enough socially acknowledged signifiers to click. Until then, just gotta be the trend-setter you want to see in the world and "dress non-binary" loudly, I guess? Or dress like a schlub and bank on baggy cloths blurring the lines enough for people not to think hard about it.
This is why I tell people "any pronouns" despite almost always referring to myself as "it" or "they". I find it useful to hear how I am percieved, it helps me figure out just how "extra" I need to dress to be seen as a person of mixed gender.
im a bit ignorant here - what do you mean by "bind?"
"Binding" refers to the act of compressing one's chest, usually with special clothing.
oh, ty. <3
People naturally want the world to make sense.
Some folks find it more natural to ostracize those who don't fit within their worldview rather than updating their worldview to accommodate new information.
That uniform actually looks extremely binary...
I HAVE TO GO TO THE BANK TODAY!
mf, am I supposed to look like your narrow funnel of expression, you acorn? Did soup one day decide taste this stale, or did you also add butter to your gumbo?
I have to go to the bank after this! What am I going to tell them? I had good and bad news!?
I can't say I loved the character of the dean all the way through, but damn if Jim Rash didn't perform the hell out of the role every single scene.
The peanut bar rap is one of the few times I can remember from any movie or show where I literally fell out of my chair laughing.
Did anyone say binary:
Well, it's gender, not sex. Gender is just social "standards". The clothes, the mannerisms, the interest, the hobbies, arguably the sexual interests depending which idiot you talk to, certainly the hair dos and the standings or places in traditional society. It's the roles, the stereotypes, the things you can do, can't do, should do, shouldn't do. It's the core of why gender inequality exists—can't have that without the concept of gender, something so artificial and groundless we all can't even agree on it anyway. Just made up social things we would be better off going back to being without.
If you identify as an "alpha male" people will hate you. If you're a "transgender", people will hate you. If you don't change your social identity to be any of those things and just be you, people generally don't hate you. No labels attached.
Gender is just acknowledging and/or adhering to the oldest conservative values we historically have of what male does and what female does—funnily enough, "at the time", as history constantly reminds us—and little else. Any gender label is just an acknowledgement and conformity to these social things, whether in hybrid conformity or social defiance.
It's why two guys holding hands is "gay" in most societies, but it's normal in Bangladesh; a society that hates gays.... Yeah, what?
So long as "it"—whatever it is—is a label, "it" will be open for social interpretation and contention.
Life's easier when you reject labels and all the traits that come with them. Sure, some people will treat you like shit, but that's their problem. Wear what you want, fuck what you want, be into the things you like, no need to justify it to others or pursue a reason or label for it. People will leave you alone if you just be you. They'll hate you if you conform to a social thing the social things they conform to have been taught to hate.
Society is dumb. Enjoy it but reject it.