Spyke

There of course isn't a general answer or plan to this as you might imagine. Starting with what "is about to commit" means specifically, personal relation to the person, place and time,set and setting...

But some general aspects from my perspective as a social worker who works with people suffering from mental disorders. Your first motivation shouldn't be to talk them out of something but simply talk to them. There is a saying in working with pepeople in suicidal crisis that translates to something like 'any suicide attempt is a conversation that was not had '. An attempt may be because pressure seems too great at the moment, so simply taking time helps in easing the pressure.

So depending on the situation listening is often a valid first step, no judgement no agenda. Of course you should be honest and express your feelings,e.g. 'I am worried about you and I don't want you to end your life'.

When the situation is urgent, no matter what they say, call professional help! That means medical and psychiatric professionals. Be transparent about it, too: 'I am worried, I am overwhelmed and I believe you need help. So I am calling an ambulance!'

In my experience this is often an important step and many in crisis get a feeling of relief and once the ambulance arrives they are ready to accept their help.

It is also possible, that the person is totally determined on pulling through no matter what. In that case you may not be able yo do anything or you might use force to stop them. You should under no circumstances put yourself in danger, keep yourself protected. Maybe there are other people around who may help. Get their help as well, even just telling someone to call an ambulance may help.

And most importantly. You are not responsible! People willing to commit suicide often have years of suffering, trauma and agony behind them. You cannot fix that in 5 Minutes or an hour or a day! Often they cannot respond to reason anymore and cannot see a light at the end of the tunnel. Still, they make that decision for themselves and whatever happens is not your fault! They may be relieved that you care, they also may antagonize you or show aggression. Keep yourself safe! Let professionals help as far as they can. Still,if any intervention is futile, what happens is not your fault!

As I said, there is so much to consider and it is difficult to grasp the complexity, so consider this just some general input to your question because there isn't a general answer to your question.

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Assume that everyone's situation and reasoning is different. There is no one thing you can do.

So here is one thing you can do. Usually, people who want out, see no other options anymore. If you are in any position to ask something of this person, try to get them to hold off somehow. If you ask them straight up not to do end it, that's too much of an ask. You can ask them something smaller, like setting an appointment to do something fun together, in order for them to delay their decision. But you need to try to convince them to do one last thing before following through, and you can all but promise them they can kill themselves after that. Of course, you'll ask them to do one last thing again, just until they get back on their feet. Realize that they have been wanting to commit suicide for some time and getting to the point where they'd actually do it is a major step and they will probably have difficulty getting there once again after.

It really depends on the current situation as well, you don't ask someone on a ledge to go see a movie or whatever.

The only good you can do, is to make someone understand that they are loved, not alone and that help is always available. Be careful not to patronize, usually people who get to the point where they would prefer death over life have been in their head long enough to have weighed all the logical options.

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If you come across someone who's about to commit suicide, how do you talk them out of it? | Spyke