While the joke is indisputably funny, it’s important to remind everyone that it’s still a harmful stereotype. Bi/pan erasure is a genuine problem. You don’t stop being bi/pan simply because you enter a monogamous relationship.
More seriously, I think erasure is only part of it. Lots of LGBTQ folks deliberately remain in the closet for the sake of family relationships, careers, and local politics.
If you're bi, it's just easier.
But that heterosexual camouflage does get confusing to process when you "come out". Especially with the reactionary attitude that heterosexuality is a choice.
The most biphobic people I've ever seen are gay people. They hate bi people more than your average straight homophobe hates gay people. It's really weird.
I never understood biphobia, a bi person choosing to be in a relationship with you means that they chose you out of everybody. It should be a feeling of flattery, not paranoia.
I mean it's obviously different from person to person, but the gay people I've met, especially lesbians, have a genuine irrational fear and hatred of bi people. They're terrified that bi people will cheat on them or will leave them for straight people. They see them as straight people who are pretending to be gay rather than actually being bi.
Wellll, my wife is bi. I have a constant (not really constant, just when my insecurity is dragged out by a nightmare or something) nagging fear that she’ll leave me for a woman one day. (I’m a man).
Maybe it’s just an extra layer because it potentially opens more doors.
You know how some things people say just echo in your head forever? You hear a thousand points from a thousand people and most of it just goes in one ear and out the other, but something sticks for some reason or other and it just echoes in your brain.
An idiot, misogynist, redneck said to me, “once ‘ey get uh little pussy it’s a matter uh time. They want it like anybody who wants it, and they won’t go without it forever.”
When I’m feeling particularly insecure, that dumb shit just shows up in my brain.
I’m aware that I’m being stupid. I don’t express this to my wife because I’m being stupid and I know it.
Well, overly stupid people scream their insecurities out loud constantly.
I’ve met some really, really stupid gay people. They’re people like anyone else, of course.
The truth is, if I were to hand myself over to my sexuality entirely, I’d be fucking as many people as I could as often as possible. My sexuality isn’t all I am. It’s a small part of who I am. I just have to trust that my wife is as serious about us as I am. She hasn’t given me a reason not to trust her.
I guess my point is, idiot+insecure=bigotry.
If my wife ever leaves me for a woman, I won’t let it verify my insecurity. She could just as easily leave me for a man. No point in letting my insecurities make me a bigot. Gay people aren’t immune to bigotry.
You said wise things, but I suggest considering expressing your wife these insecurities. Maybe that will help you come to terms with them and you can find some strategies so she can effectively reassure you.
I agree with you, but silly baseless insecurities being expressed all the time just hurts the people around you for nothing.
I expressed it once early in our relationship and there’s no reason to express it again. I’m stupid for feeling the way I do and I should carry that stupidity quietly.
There's bunch of stereotypes surrounding bisexuals. For example, that bisexuality doesn't exist -- like that they're actually gay, but won't admit it, or it's a stepping-stone to being gay. Or that they're actually straight but just fucking with lesbians and won't ever commit, or that they're promiscuous and will always cheat. Or, that once they do settle down it'll always be with an opposite-gender partner. Or that they're cowards who'll mask their queerness instead of supporting the LGBTQA+ community, since they can always pretend to be straight... and so much more! It fucking sucks!
But like... Why wouldn't they be allowed to do any of those things by others? Like are they the internal investigation department of free love movement like it's a fucking paradox? Did they forget in 0.1ms it's not up to them who I fuck?
I won't pretend that some negative stereotypes about bisexuals don't originate from broken-hearted unisexual folks' lived experience (which is still no excuse to defame all bisexuals), but a lot -- A LOT -- of bisexual stereotypes and erasure comes from old-fashioned homophobia.
I always figured bi (or pansexual) was the default setting for humans. Most guys at least are flexible, if there is not a woman around any port in a storm, and if you weren't raised with any conditioning it seems more normal to love individuals, not categories.
There is no default. You like what you like. That's my opinion at least. If everyone minded their own damn business this wouldn't be a topic of discussion anyway
I want to look like a question mark specifically to fuck with people who think it's their business.
Mind your own shit. People are so nosy. That David bowie interview when he gets almost livid with the guy for asking is my favorite. Such an invasive culture.
You are only bisexual if you are engaged in sex with two people of the opposite sex simultaneously.
Otherwise, you're just Schrodinger's Gay.
"Ohh yeah baby, collapse my wave function..."
i like being observed, interact with me to measure my state please
Position? But I wanted to measure velocity tonight!
And now they're gone, quite slowly though.
While the joke is indisputably funny, it’s important to remind everyone that it’s still a harmful stereotype. Bi/pan erasure is a genuine problem. You don’t stop being bi/pan simply because you enter a monogamous relationship.
More seriously, I think erasure is only part of it. Lots of LGBTQ folks deliberately remain in the closet for the sake of family relationships, careers, and local politics.
If you're bi, it's just easier.
But that heterosexual camouflage does get confusing to process when you "come out". Especially with the reactionary attitude that heterosexuality is a choice.
two people of opposite sex*, otherwise it's just a straight threesome
But you cease to be bi afterwards, you were just experimenting.
How does a straight threesome work? (I suppose every participant could be straight but it seems like two might be weirded out by eachother, no?)
it's like a proxy connection, the client and remote server both interact with the proxy server, but they don't interact directly with each other
So there's a Schrodinger’s Gay in every threesome
At least one.
I am bisexual then.
I would never suck a dick unless a woman was involved. What does that make me?
That would depend on the way the woman is involved
The dick can be attached to her or she could be sharing it with me.
Straight.
Bi/Pan.
An oversharer.
Instruction unclear. Are you into group sex or trans women or both?
Yes.
Bisexual with hangups.
A cuck.
Nah humiliation doesn’t turn me on so it’s not that.
The most biphobic people I've ever seen are gay people. They hate bi people more than your average straight homophobe hates gay people. It's really weird.
I like to think they're jealous that we get rejected twice as much as anyone else.
I never understood biphobia, a bi person choosing to be in a relationship with you means that they chose you out of everybody. It should be a feeling of flattery, not paranoia.
When I came out to my wife, that was her reaction. I picked damn well
reminds me of the scene in chasing amy where alyssa gets ostracized by her lesbian club because shes now dating a guy
Seriously? I have to tell my wife. She's sometimes open and sometimes closed to the idea of a threesome or just bisexuality.
I mean it's obviously different from person to person, but the gay people I've met, especially lesbians, have a genuine irrational fear and hatred of bi people. They're terrified that bi people will cheat on them or will leave them for straight people. They see them as straight people who are pretending to be gay rather than actually being bi.
Wellll, my wife is bi. I have a constant (not really constant, just when my insecurity is dragged out by a nightmare or something) nagging fear that she’ll leave me for a woman one day. (I’m a man).
Maybe it’s just an extra layer because it potentially opens more doors.
You know how some things people say just echo in your head forever? You hear a thousand points from a thousand people and most of it just goes in one ear and out the other, but something sticks for some reason or other and it just echoes in your brain.
An idiot, misogynist, redneck said to me, “once ‘ey get uh little pussy it’s a matter uh time. They want it like anybody who wants it, and they won’t go without it forever.”
When I’m feeling particularly insecure, that dumb shit just shows up in my brain.
I’m aware that I’m being stupid. I don’t express this to my wife because I’m being stupid and I know it.
Well, overly stupid people scream their insecurities out loud constantly.
I’ve met some really, really stupid gay people. They’re people like anyone else, of course.
The truth is, if I were to hand myself over to my sexuality entirely, I’d be fucking as many people as I could as often as possible. My sexuality isn’t all I am. It’s a small part of who I am. I just have to trust that my wife is as serious about us as I am. She hasn’t given me a reason not to trust her.
I guess my point is, idiot+insecure=bigotry.
If my wife ever leaves me for a woman, I won’t let it verify my insecurity. She could just as easily leave me for a man. No point in letting my insecurities make me a bigot. Gay people aren’t immune to bigotry.
You said wise things, but I suggest considering expressing your wife these insecurities. Maybe that will help you come to terms with them and you can find some strategies so she can effectively reassure you.
I have very rarely had a bad outcome from speaking honestly and straightforwardly to people that I care about.
I grew up in a cult. After I got out, my experience generally mirrors yours but damn I have some family members.
Holy shit, me too. Yeah, I probably should have put and asterisk next to that.
I agree with you, but silly baseless insecurities being expressed all the time just hurts the people around you for nothing.
I expressed it once early in our relationship and there’s no reason to express it again. I’m stupid for feeling the way I do and I should carry that stupidity quietly.
At least anecdotally, I’ve seen it happen multiple times. There’s this subset in the dating pool who want to give meeting with other women a try.
From my experience its a little different for women.
Yep it gets really nasty sometimes. We shouldn't be shitting on each other like that.
As ridiculous as it is, bigotry like this at least proves human universality.
Pick a hole and stick with it, I guess.
Can confirm, bisexuals are capable of annoyance.
It's kind of like half way between angry and happy. Can't you just pick an emotion? /s
If I had to describe my feelings about this, I would have to say that I am bivalent.
I, as a not bisexual, am amambivalalentam.
I don't know why bisexuals are memed as being given a hard time for being bisexual, and I am too afraid to ask at this point.
There's bunch of stereotypes surrounding bisexuals. For example, that bisexuality doesn't exist -- like that they're actually gay, but won't admit it, or it's a stepping-stone to being gay. Or that they're actually straight but just fucking with lesbians and won't ever commit, or that they're promiscuous and will always cheat. Or, that once they do settle down it'll always be with an opposite-gender partner. Or that they're cowards who'll mask their queerness instead of supporting the LGBTQA+ community, since they can always pretend to be straight... and so much more! It fucking sucks!
Why cant a guy just really like blowjobs and not be fussy. Always with the labels.
When you stick you sick through a hole in the wall, it all feels the same.
But like... Why wouldn't they be allowed to do any of those things by others? Like are they the internal investigation department of free love movement like it's a fucking paradox? Did they forget in 0.1ms it's not up to them who I fuck?
I won't pretend that some negative stereotypes about bisexuals don't originate from broken-hearted unisexual folks' lived experience (which is still no excuse to defame all bisexuals), but a lot -- A LOT -- of bisexual stereotypes and erasure comes from old-fashioned homophobia.
Unisexuals when they see a unicycle
Or a unibrow.
Rrrrawwr.
That's an excellent point
It's similar to when people say, "You're not really an atheist, you just haven't found the right religion."
No bi person is ever believed by a non-bi person.
I always figured bi (or pansexual) was the default setting for humans. Most guys at least are flexible, if there is not a woman around any port in a storm, and if you weren't raised with any conditioning it seems more normal to love individuals, not categories.
There is no default. You like what you like. That's my opinion at least. If everyone minded their own damn business this wouldn't be a topic of discussion anyway
Yep.
I want to look like a question mark specifically to fuck with people who think it's their business.
Mind your own shit. People are so nosy. That David bowie interview when he gets almost livid with the guy for asking is my favorite. Such an invasive culture.
Are you from ancient Greece by any chance?
Their comment didn't contain enough disdain for women.
I think you can only be properly bi if you're simultaneously railing a cishet female while being railed by a homosexual male.
/s
Don’t threaten me with a good time.
Lucky Pierre 👍🏽
That hypothetical woman is disappointing both partners.
Hey, I'm in this meme!
Gottem
Why is itonly bisexual-but-angry-now people who are into me?
Bi people steal ace people's attractions.