knock knock, anyone home? Today is my quit day.
I started smoking cigarettes in 2002. I quit in 2013 during my pregnancy, but definitely snuck a drag or two during it even. Picked it right back up after birth.
Switched to vaping in 2021. The vape.. hurts my throat in ways American Spirits never did. My husband and I both vape, and we've been talking about quitting for near 6 months.
I got so mad at always having the vape in my hand one day a few months ago I was pissed enough to try, but only survived 2 days trying cold turkey.
Last night I woke in the middle of the night, basically choking. I had to get up, get some water, then milk, then a cough drop to get my throat to chill out. I haven't touched my vape since.
Fist this this morning, I went and got 2mg lozenges, and a pack of American spirits.. ugh. I smoked one on the road, ditched the whole pack ($15 bro why am I so dumb).
Im home with the first lozenge in my mouth dissolving right now.
I choke, really easy this last year or two. My throat hurts from the vape, and im going to die if I dont quit, like now.
Im done. All the times I've tried, I've never made it past day four. Day four I cave.
Not this time. Heres to hour one. Godspeed
Do it!
It's not going well.
I haven't touched my vape, but im smoking two cigarettes in the morning and then using the lozenges. I'm still addicted to nicotine. When that pack runs out im fucked. Probably four days out of really feeling the withdrawal. Got lightheaded from the cig for the first time in like a decade.
Keeping my hands busy with cooking. I just, keep fucking cooking shit with my rolling pin.
My hands feel free without having a vape in them 90% of the time, which is fantastic. But im still physically addicted to nicotine. I fucking hate nicotine.. The lozenges are keeping my skin from feeling crawly and my mind from completely snapping but lordt help me yo.
I napped for two days straight. I just made myself sleep. Now im waking naturally at 5am each day lmao. I can't sleep anymore like that- so here I am, wanting to punch babies on the inside, trying to remain cool on the outside.
Im so done having this dependency.
That pack ran out. Yesterday morning i made it through with no smoke, just lozenges. I found a butt mid morning in a really old ashtray and smoked the three drags from it.
Today, i bought another pack. My husband doesnt know I have cigs. I feel like shit. Im smoking in my car right now, parked down the street from my house. I haven't felt light headed from a cig in.. fuck, forever. I hate vaping. God i love tobacco. I didn't have the willpower today. I'm using the fact my government and world is falling apart as an excuse to say fuck it.
I find it easy at night to go without. The mornings are so fucking hard. I don't want to be a smoker, but fuck i love the act of it.
Why can't lucies be a thing. 15 years ago i could have just bought a single cig (a newport or marb red) for .50 cents and been done with it. Instead, i spent $15 on a pack of my favorite brand.
I don't like me right now, idk. I hate nicotine and the hold it has on me.
Alcohol, gave it up easy, sugar? Can give it up easily too, just like meat and dairy. Nicotine has its hold. I fucking hate this
Ah as I sit here, smoking an American Spirit cigarette, one thing is clear... I quit vaping :/
Back on vaping.
My husband vapes. When we met I smoked cigarettes. I switched to vaping after becoming a stay at home mom. My husband pays for my habit.
When I snuck my second pack of cigarettes, I told him. I said, "take these from me please". He did. Not 6 hours later I asked what he did with them, picked the pack out of the (thankfully nearly empty) trash bin. And smoked cigarettes for what, the last 3 weeks? Shit. A pack every three days. I was doing better (pack lasting 5 days) when I was hiding it. Eh.
Vaping is cheaper, and I can tell my husband hates the smell of cigarettes. I've a weird fucked up love of American Spirits. Vaping hurts my throat. I didn't cough on my joints at all these last three weeks. Two days back on the nicotine vape, I'm choking though joints again.
I vape more nicotine than when I smoke cigarettes. A cig, I have to go outside. I wash my hands after and rinse with mouthwash. Cigs must be smoked outdoors. The vape can be anywhere. Hell, I'm taking better care of my teeth when smoking to mitigate the smell. But that's also just some fucked up silver lining.
I fucking hate this vape. How do I fall out of love with Cigs? How to forgo this fucking nicotine habit! I've had the determination and self will to give up many things in my life. From sugar, to caffine, to alcohol, to meat and dairy.. why is this so hard? Because I love fucking dragging on an American Spirit.
I wondering now, because I'm not giving up, if I should try and quit in winter. It's cold af and I won't want to go outdoors to smoke. I also, just remembered in this moment, my sister's ex girlfriend used to buy cbd cigarettes. I wonder if this might help? Yo it might. I may look into that actually.
I just need off nicotine, cigs are not healthy, but the vape is speed running it I think. CBD cigs, worth a try.
I know no one is here, but this helps I think. Idk. 24 years I've been addicted to nicotine. 24 fucking years, more than half my life. How much goddamn money...
Ok so this is all very familiar sounding
First up: Don't vape, your not "smoking" per say but your not beating your addiction either and let's face it, your gonna go back to cigarettes because of the meditative breathing it forces you to partake in. (That's the calming effect combined with getting your fix)
Second: You should wean down the quantity you have daylie. There's a few ways to help with this. American spirits were the right call, but make sure you get the light blue packs dunno why but they're easier to quit than the bolder ones. Blacks will make your addiction pangs horrible. Make sure you last as long as you can in the mornings before your first, it sets the tone for the day. So if you can hold off for 3 to hours you'll smoke less often after that. Also break the habit of smoking after meals and in the car. MAKE yourself wait. Even if just for 30 minutes
Third: NO MORE COUGH SUPPRESSANTS!!!! You have a layer of tar in your lungs, and it dries out the membrane that separates oxygen from water. Not only are you at higher risk of pneumonia doing this but your also not letting your body eject the tar. It's gonna hurt, your cillia are stunned and need time to shake awake. That's the coughing, it's necessary, you'll also likely get a lot of snot and stuffiness from your sinuses don't stop your body from trying to fix the problem. Also spit that shit out once it's free
Fourth: Lots of water and cranberry juice, you made it 2 of the 3 hardest days, cranberry juice will reduce that journey, not by much but every hour counts. The water will make the coughing hurt less by nature of not being so dried out.
Last bit: No alcohol or coffee, sorry they go hand in hand. Yea doesn't give you the kick coffee does but it'll get you by bare minimum, and it hydrates so it's got it's benefits
I suggest you set yourself up ahead of time, mentally prepare yourself and practice these new habits. You've been smoking for years, you've got time to make this easier.
Also don't hang out with other smokers for half a year, just to be safe