Sorry about that. Self love comes from within too. Everybody’s road to self acceptance is different. I started mine about three years ago when I took way too many shrooms and had a mind blowing experience where I realized I hated my body, but didn’t really understand why, so I spent an unknown amount of time coming up with things I appreciate about my body, like my muscle memory when typing or other small things. It sent me on a long journey that led me to discover why I have had such a strong disconnect with myself.

I don’t necessarily suggest you do that yourself, as you can really Fuck up your psyche, and you don’t really get to choose what lesson you’ll learn or what kind of experience you’ll have.

Ideally an individual would be able to experience that guided by a mental health professional for safety and to keep you focused on something productive.

I hope you can find some things to appreciate about yourself, because the things you focus on are the things that will drive you or drag you, and we can be our own hardest critic.

My dad did the same. He’d always ask me why I don’t have a girlfriend. When I’d choose inside chores over helping him pull weeds or whatever, because it’s hot outside, he’d ask me if I wore a maids dress while doing it to try to pressure me into doing more “manly” work.

The funny thing is that when I hit ~20 years old I think he had a realization on his mind that I was actually gay and changed how he acted. I’m not, I’m like 90% straight, but he’d try to do little things to show his support for my presumed closeted gayness. For example, I had a close male best friend. Before we hung out he’d awkwardly hand me $50 and say, “I am glad you are happy, take him out for dinner and a movie on me 😉”.