Spyke
nostupidquestions·No Stupid QuestionsbyClay_pidgin

How do children address a non-binary parent?

A trans parent would likely still want to be called "Mom" or "Dad", I assume. At least that's the case with the few trans parents I know.

Parents don't usually use "daughter" or "son" as pronouns, so I don't think it would come up with non-binary children.

Do children of non-binary parents call their parents by their first name? It seems unlikely that they say "Parent, may I please have more screen time?".

View original on sh.itjust.works

In which context? They're probably MFers too. If you mean artificial or biological... Could be either, but let's go with 3rd party replacements.

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null_dotreply
lemmy.dbzer0.com

I don't think that's really true.

Dad is a title, bestowed by anyone for any reason.

"Biological dad" may have a specific meaning, but "dad" does not.

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I mean, that can be misunderstood. Better to mix mom and dad into ... "dom" ... or why not "mad"?

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lemmy.blahaj.zone

my son calls me baba. i've met other enby parents that use the same term. i originally heard it on blues clues lol

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lemmy.world

I'm not nonbinary but my son just calls me Michael.

45

I've heard "Mawpaw" for a bigender person before which sounds kind of delightfully southern.

14

My friend's father transitioned to a woman but she kept calling her "Dad". Not to invalidate her identity just that they were both happy to continue describing their relationship with that term.

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56!
lemmy.ml

I read the title as a programming question at first...

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CVE-2025-j - Data leak due to uninitialized variable for children of non-binary parents

Children referring to non-binary parents may use uninitialized variable in speech when referring to the parent. This can expose personal information when referring to the non-binary parent. All children who are users of the English language are potentially vulnerable. Children who already have a preferred title for their parent are unaffected. To mitigate this the parent and child should discuss what preferred title the child should use.

Due to the extreme widespread usage of the English language and the difficulty with patching, there is unlikely to be a comprehensive fix for this soon.

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lemmy.ca

Very individualized as per need. Non-binary is an umbrella term for a whole bunch of different situations so what feels right is going to be very different for someone who feels like say a mix of masculine and feminine versus someone who has dysphoric reactions to any and all gender markers. It's going to be different for someone whose identity is more static than say someone who fluidly bounces between extremes.

If you know someone who is non-binary that's essentially just the tip of the iceberg of a whole discussion about how they personally interact with their body or the culture of gender. A lot of people seem to treat it as a full stop third category which can actually be a disservice to a non-binary person because it oftentimes just leads to a lot of new assumptions and frames out some of the ways they could be better treated than just as automatically genderless. I've heard of mixes of Mom/Dad for bigender people, just Mom or Dad for trans masc/femme folk, Completely new words that do not have cultural baggage, or just "my parent". It's not a one size fits all situation.

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The words "mom" and "dad" are both derived from baby babble, syllables babies have an easy time making.

I therefore suggest that an enby parent should be a child's wawa

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TheDoozerreply
lemmy.world

Show some respect.

It's a convenience store/deli/sometimes gas station, and it has the best Thanksgiving sandwich you can order, pay for, and pick up without a single word to a human (and usually in less than 5 minutes).

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lemmy.ca

If I were a nonbinary parent, I’d definitely go with “elder”.

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sh.itjust.works

I just mean that I don't often hear parents addressing their kids as "Son" except in '50s media! I'm sure it happens.

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sh.itjust.works

Absolutely, but then you can say "my kid" or something instead of "my daughter". Using "child" as a title is different than using it as a pronoun standing in for their name.

2

Yeah. I had to carefully word my dad's obituary to not gender me--I wasn't out yet, but it would have added more pain to the event if I'd been misgendered in it. Luckily, I have a sibling, so I able to rework the first draft from "survived by his son ___ and daughter ___" to be "survived by his children __ and __".

Anyways, if I had a kid I think I'd just go by my name, or any nickname they came up with. I called my binary parents by their names so it doesn't feel weird to me.

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Yermawreply
lemm.ee

I was wondering the other day why gran is always the grandma not the grandpa

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My aunt was raised by her grandfather and called him Grandy. Everyone has called him that since.

6

I was going to say it's definitely a case by case basis and what both parents and kids are comfortable with. With same-gender couples, I've often seen with my friends using two different gendered honorifics, like "mom" and "mama" or "dad" and "papa".

With trans people, often times it depends on when they came out. If before the child was born, or they were really young, I know a lot of parents will switch what they use, but for many people the title becomes something beyond gender. I've met a trans woman who transitioned later in life and was still "dad" to her kids because her role as a dad didn't invalidate her gender as a woman. In the same vein, I've known nonbinary folk who have kept "mom" or "dad" after coming out, went with a less traditional title, or even just made one up either something fun and ungendered (think something like "babi"). I've also heard people just using a diminutive of they're name, like rather than the kid saying "my parent, Sam" it becomes "my Sammy".

The fun thing about language is that it changes to fit the needs of people and groups, so we can just make it up as we go!

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sga
lemmings.world

i am not sure, but what i think i read somewhere is "ren" (as in pa"ren"t), so you would go like my ren dropped me to school or something.

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My nephew has a dad and a mawpa, but there are lots of options out there. It's wise to choose syllable sounds that babies can easily pronounce.

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lemm.ee

Tata instead of mama or papa? But also, what about parent's siblings, or sibling's children?

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Tangential, but my wife is nonbinary and I still call them my wife. They're okay with it. And I don't mean to be lewd, but in bed they like to be called Daddy instead of Mommy. My point is that it's probably a case by case thing without a universal and some nonbinary folks don't mind some gendered terms. It might even be context based.

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lemm.ee

My niece is non-binary and we run into this issue. Now, I just ask people who identify as non-binary. “When there isn’t a good non-binary term to use, do you prefer me to use male or female words?”

So far, the non-binary people I’ve asked seem to appreciate the question.

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I'm sure they do.

I think the gender inclusive term for niece and nephew is "nibling", which sounds like a Pokemon!

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lemmy.world

Is this a real question?

They would just call them by their name or by a nickname. Or by mom or dad if the parents don't care about that.

-11

i mean, this is the real answer yeah. but i'm liking @[email protected]'s answer and will begin enforcing 'honored ancestor' instead of my name.

edit: if it doesnt like properly this time it's never going to...

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