I live in a dangerous house.

The foundation is cracked, and I'm pretty sure we have termites.

But my other half is worried about robbers, so I guess we're reinforcing the locks.

I live in a dangerous house.

The floor is sagging in the kitchen, and I'm pretty sure we have black mold.

But my other half doesn't trust the banks, so I guess we're installing a vault.

I live in a dangerous house.

The roof is missing shingles, and I'm pretty sure we have lead paint.

But my other half thinks the government might collapse, so I guess we're digging a bunker.

I live in a dangerous house.

But thank God, my other half

Is keeping us safe