Judging them by the first 5 minutes of interaction is the cover. As a fast food employee you’re not going to learn that they just got fired from their job and the divorce was just completed today and the wife gets all the kids.
With exposure to neurodivergent posts online, it became apparent to me that even interacting with people is an unreliable way of discerning someone's character.
Some people are highly anxious, which can manifest in all sorts of ways, from seeming like an asshole, to being erratic and sketchy.
I'm sure we've all had situations where we said something, later realizing how it could be misconstrued.
Then we've got people with autism, schizophrenia, ADHD, depression, etc.
And that's without mentioning the personal circumstances of the day, week or month.
Just don't judge people if it's unlikely to cost you anything.
Choose compassion, patience and respect. You will never know the plight of a stranger.
Its a good lesson to teach kids, because human's first instincts is to always judge and believe first impressions. This is obviously not a good outlook on life and will lead to issues and unnecessary conflict.
But yeah it is kind of bullshit once you are able to understand that first impressions CAN be wrong.
Also, children don't dress themselves usually. So the advise is definitely more relevant as a child than an adult working retail.
And honestly the OP should have a 95% accuracy if they are seasoned in retail. As a former retail worker, those skills were ingrained after the first month working there. It is actually baffling how easy it is.
It's mostly to try and say that ugly people aren't bad people, because there's a natural human instinct to be drawn to pretty people with symmetrical faces. That's why it's a simple message for children. As OP said, with experience you learn more and you can draw your own conclusions.
The rule that the way you go into the interaction reciprocally influences the way people interact with you might be more important here. So if you treat ppl with the expectation that theyre gonna be dicks, guess what, theyre gonna feel that and probably wont be too pleased about it and behave accordingly.
I think the phrase has the same basic problem as a lot of common advice... the real truth is more nuanced than any pithy phrase could ever be. At best, it's a quick way of reminding someone who already knows better but has temporarily forgotten.
We evolved to live and work in groups of 150, max. Past that our brains get overwhelmed and fall back to pattern matching, another evolutionary trait, and a powerful one in us humans.
We're so good at judging people that when someone's behavior throws us for a loop, it's a memorable event.
The only trick is making a conscious decision to stay the hell away from "all $people act like $X". Even if I think a customer walking up is likely to be a chud, I greet them openly and friendly. Works out great.
Indicators like nonverbal language exist and then there are certain things we attach to personality traits like wearing a trump hat but also when you prejudge a person you change your own behavior and increase the chances for the outcome you expect based upon your judgement
Are you talking about the best selling novel and winner of the esteemed and very real Jim Taylor best novel award: all the fire that we hold tomorrow?
Judging them by the first 5 minutes of interaction is the cover. As a fast food employee you’re not going to learn that they just got fired from their job and the divorce was just completed today and the wife gets all the kids.
Exactly, you're only going to learn that they're going to be a dick (𓂸) to you right now, that's about it.
A book's cover really only has two functions:
Protect the book
Tell you little bit about the book so you can judge whether or not to read it
Precisely. Some folks role play 'normal' people in public to make it easier. Others rp as 'crazy' people to make you keep your distance.
When a book stops just being a 'book' and instead becomes 'lord of the rings', that's when cover-judging no longer applies.
In that same way, a person becomes a friend/coworker/family. Until that happens, the only thing you have is the cover.
With exposure to neurodivergent posts online, it became apparent to me that even interacting with people is an unreliable way of discerning someone's character.
Some people are highly anxious, which can manifest in all sorts of ways, from seeming like an asshole, to being erratic and sketchy.
I'm sure we've all had situations where we said something, later realizing how it could be misconstrued.
Then we've got people with autism, schizophrenia, ADHD, depression, etc.
And that's without mentioning the personal circumstances of the day, week or month.
Just don't judge people if it's unlikely to cost you anything.
Choose compassion, patience and respect. You will never know the plight of a stranger.
Its a good lesson to teach kids, because human's first instincts is to always judge and believe first impressions. This is obviously not a good outlook on life and will lead to issues and unnecessary conflict.
But yeah it is kind of bullshit once you are able to understand that first impressions CAN be wrong.
Also, children don't dress themselves usually. So the advise is definitely more relevant as a child than an adult working retail.
And honestly the OP should have a 95% accuracy if they are seasoned in retail. As a former retail worker, those skills were ingrained after the first month working there. It is actually baffling how easy it is.
It's mostly to try and say that ugly people aren't bad people, because there's a natural human instinct to be drawn to pretty people with symmetrical faces. That's why it's a simple message for children. As OP said, with experience you learn more and you can draw your own conclusions.
the people who cause problems in retail environments are not the people who would think to mask the intentions their body language communicate
that being said, people will still surprise you and it's usually right when you stop expecting them to have any capacity to surprise you
The rule that the way you go into the interaction reciprocally influences the way people interact with you might be more important here. So if you treat ppl with the expectation that theyre gonna be dicks, guess what, theyre gonna feel that and probably wont be too pleased about it and behave accordingly.
...oh my god it's a fat white guy with gas station sunglasses and cargo shorts...
"Hi asshole, what can I help you with today?"
Hey, don't be mean to your sysadmin!
I think the phrase has the same basic problem as a lot of common advice... the real truth is more nuanced than any pithy phrase could ever be. At best, it's a quick way of reminding someone who already knows better but has temporarily forgotten.
You can gauge a book by its cover, but until the story in known, judging should be reserved.
So no judging, just gauging. Got it.
I'm gonna call my judging gauging then.
Non verbal communication is quite the thing.
It's mostly for young people that it matters to not judge them based on their appearance, they lack the skill and experience to show who they are.
Anon is just too stupid to understand a saying, or even ask for an explanation
Only terrible publishers pick covers that don't match the book's contents is all I have to say.
We judge, it's what we do. Anyone who says otherwise is lying
We evolved to live and work in groups of 150, max. Past that our brains get overwhelmed and fall back to pattern matching, another evolutionary trait, and a powerful one in us humans.
We're so good at judging people that when someone's behavior throws us for a loop, it's a memorable event.
The only trick is making a conscious decision to stay the hell away from "all $people act like $X". Even if I think a customer walking up is likely to be a chud, I greet them openly and friendly. Works out great.
Dunbar's Number for anyone interested in reading further on this theory.
Indicators like nonverbal language exist and then there are certain things we attach to personality traits like wearing a trump hat but also when you prejudge a person you change your own behavior and increase the chances for the outcome you expect based upon your judgement
Relational frame theory, pygmalion effect, expectancy effect, etc
People lie with words all the time, but their body language always tells the real truth if you learn to listen
Anon is being sloppy, with hoe hr treats people no less
Customer facings roles can do that, it's almost necessary.